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juzstylin
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 11 Location: Queens, NY
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 6:34 pm Post subject: Teachers dating teachers(?) |
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Just wondering how common this is in the English teaching world. |
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khmerhit
Joined: 31 May 2003 Posts: 1874 Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 8:41 pm Post subject: |
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I'm working on it, juz. |
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foster
Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 10:02 pm Post subject: |
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I think quite common. I know that Nova MM Center in Osaka was an incestuous little dating pool...still is.
We gravitate to what we know. Even in the non-ESL world, teachers tend to hook up with other teachers often, I find. Same holidays, same working times...I think it is very common.
Closest I came was dating a principal for 2 years. Not as much fun as you may think...  |
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James_T_Kirk

Joined: 20 Sep 2003 Posts: 357 Location: Ten Forward
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 10:55 pm Post subject: |
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This happens all the time. However, in my opinion: colleague + dating = bad idea  |
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foster
Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 11:21 pm Post subject: |
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I think dating someone else who is a teacher is ok, just stay away from the same school.
If you work in different schools but the same division, it may be ok.
For me, working and possibly living together would be just too much togetherness for me. And should it go sour, chances are, someone is going to have to change jobs/schools. |
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denise

Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish
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Posted: Wed May 05, 2004 11:45 pm Post subject: |
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In my personal experience, it's kinda common. And I agree with Captain Kirk that it's not the best idea...
Same school + same social circle + break-up (nasty or otherwise) = misery! (misery=Denise staying home on Friday & Saturday nights rather than going out with the gang, because "the ex" would be there)
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Joachim
Joined: 01 Oct 2003 Posts: 311 Location: Brighton, UK
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 2:58 am Post subject: |
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I would have thought it would have been a lot more common than I've actually found it.
In my three jobs so far, I only met one teaching couple and they arrived together (splitting up after a few months). I guess in Asia, the men seem to be too enamoured by the local population to even glance at their compatriots and colleagues.
Maybe it's different in Europe? |
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foster
Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 3:15 am Post subject: |
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I found in Canada, it was fairly common that teachers were dating or married to each other. As I said, many couple hooked up at Nova MM Center in Osaka because there are about 500 teachers there, so more choices. Some of the Nova males did date J-girls, but some also hooked up with the Chinese teachers, Italian teachers or Spanish teachers.
Some men are NOT into the whole Asian-girl fetish (NOT trying to open a can of worms) so they perfered to date their co-workers. And yes, the breakups were nasty and some of the rumours were heinous.
Some of my co-workers are now engaged having met their match in Japan. Ironically, they ususally a teacher-by-trade and a non-teacher-by-trade sort of couple tho. One couple, he is a teacher, she is a writer. Other couple, she is a teacher, he is a flunky film major. (Sorry, nothing against film majors...my problem is with THIS film major.)  |
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khmerhit
Joined: 31 May 2003 Posts: 1874 Location: Reverse Culture Shock Unit
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 3:23 am Post subject: |
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foster discovered
Quote: |
Some men are NOT into the whole Asian-girl fetish (NOT trying to open a can of worms) so they perfered to date their co-workers. And yes, the breakups were nasty and some of the rumours were heinous.
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Yes, it's true [BANNER HEADLINE] some of us prefer...(these are ellipses)...... Western Women--gasp!
But tell that to the jealous Western woman, please.
just my twocents....now where was i?
Isnt anyone going to make a moon report?
Snore,
khmerhit |
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foster
Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 3:26 am Post subject: |
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Thanks khermit. Nice to know SOMEONE still likes us...even us nasty, red-head type Westerners!
Moon report? Do tell..... OK, just read your other post...hum...can't make a report about something I know nothing about..unless it is required by the EMB!  |
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juzstylin
Joined: 28 Mar 2004 Posts: 11 Location: Queens, NY
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 3:38 am Post subject: Good to hear... |
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...the reason I posed the question was because I've generally had bad experiences with japanese women, nothing against women from Japan, just the women I've dated that happened to be Japanese.
I had the belief that most western women that went to asia to teach would prefer to date a local rather than a fellow english teacher....simply because it would provide many benefits, aside from learning the picking up the culture faster. |
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foster
Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 3:43 am Post subject: |
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Being a western woman in Asia, I have not dated local or otherwise, but if I had to choose, I would choose someone who is western or European, since I am a talker and want someone who understands me without the language barrier. I have met nice Asian men, but they language barrier always gets me.
Hell, at this point, I would date a potato if it could talk. Joking.  |
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denise

Joined: 23 Apr 2003 Posts: 3419 Location: finally home-ish
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 4:32 am Post subject: Re: Good to hear... |
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juzstylin wrote: |
I had the belief that most western women that went to asia to teach would prefer to date a local rather than a fellow english teacher |
Nope. Though we western gals are reviled by many an expat male (thanks for the vote of confidence, khmerhit!), some of us ladies are still willing to give you boys a chance to get to know us and get past the nasty anti-western-girl stereotypes.
Not to start yet another flamewar, but my personal feeling is that dating someone SOLELY for linguistic benefits is a bit... uh... utilitarian, not at all fair to the other person. Same goes for dating someone solely because he/she is a trophy/status symbol/whatever. I refuse to use anyone in that way, so I tend to shy away from dating locals. (Plus I confess that I'm rarely attracted to them...)
Note: I am NOT implying that anyone dating a local is using him/her--you all know your own relationships/motivations, etc. As long as there's some sort of attraction beyond just bragging rights/linguistic gain, then carry on...
Uh oh. I fear I am in trouble now.
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foster
Joined: 07 Feb 2003 Posts: 485 Location: Honkers, SARS
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 4:44 am Post subject: |
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I agree Denise, that dating someone soley for linguistic or other gains is wrong. Sure, it would be great to have a HK b/f to help with translations and ordering the good dim sum, but if he doesn't float my boat, forget it. I need more than that as well. I do hope that most people date others because there is more than just trophy/linguistic/sexual gains.
We may have opened a HUGE can of worms......  |
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Roger
Joined: 19 Jan 2003 Posts: 9138
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Posted: Thu May 06, 2004 9:19 am Post subject: |
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It may be a bad idea to date a western colleage of the opposite sex, but it seems to me across-the ethnic divide teacher-teacher relationships are pretty common. |
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