Job Discussion Forums

Edward · Joined: 04 Mar 2003 Posts: 46

I just finished my [counts on toes] 23rd promotional lecture in 16 months, and yet AGAIN I was asked by another bright eyed student "how long would it take me to speak English as well as you?"...

Another one I get a lot is "how many words do I need to memorize to speak good English?". Or how about this one, "how can I QUICKLY learn English in one month?"...

... [just wanted to put three more dots] Razz

So let's here from the rest of you out there. I mean really! I always just want to wack them on the side of their head and say " Hellooooo? Anyone home? You are trying to LEARN a LANGUAGE, not name all the U.S. presidents, or recite Churchill's "Never Give UP" speech."

I am SURE you all have some gems to share!

Michael
My question to some of my students recently "Why do Chinese men walk with their hands behind their back?"

Roger · Joined: 19 Jan 2003 Posts: 9138

Good post, Michael!
I don't pay heed to such comments any more because I think they got all the basic notions of learning wrong.
My experiences include a number of Chinese guys in their 40'es or fifties, usually educationally-challenged but calling the shots in some business or other, who would tell me "I want to learn English in three months! How much do you charge me?"
So long as tghe natikon takes such nerds as Li Yang seriously expat teachers will never be listened to. Li Yang makes millions by selling the idea that "the faster and the louder you speak English the better your English is..."
He is about 30 years old and started this craze - inaptly called "Crazy English" - about 10 years ago, enjoying state support.
Let Mr Li make his money from people crazy enough to worship him, but the media should refrain from glorifying him.
Instead they should teach their citizens that the only competent authorities they have in their country are the numerous expat teachers.
Unfortunately, we can't even refuse a student to pass a final exam if the school has set their success rate at 90% beforehand!

randyj · Posted: Sun Mar 16, 2003 1:05 pm Post subject:

Most of the time these kinds of questions do not deserve a serious response, but one can answer the question about the number of words necessary. First of all, define "word". For the purpose of answering this question, I think we should refer to word families, which consist of headwords and all closely related forms. This approach relates well to native Chinese speakers. In the book "Learning Vocabulary in Another Language" I.S.P. Nation suggests that a reader needs 15,000 to 20,000 headwords. If a learner knows the 2,000 high-frequency words of English plus the 570 words of the "Academic Word List", then approximately one word out of ten will remain unknown, according to Nation.

senor boogie woogie · Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2003 2:09 am Post subject:

Hola!

Many Chinese people have the capacity of being ungodly annoying, even when trying to be kind. Here as some dumb questions I get.........

1.Do you like Chinese food?-I get this all the time.

2.When are you going back to America?-Do you want to get rid of me?

3.Are all Americans fat like you?-Most of the time "fat" is not an insult, it is just a state of physical being. They lack the term "big boned", "rotund" etc.

4. Do you think Chinese girls are beautiful?-Oh Lord. My wife is beautiful, Lucy Liu is beautiful, the homeless dirty beggar woman has no looks at all.

5. LASTLY, How do I improve my spoken (or oral) English?-I say talk to every English speaker that you see. Of course, this opens me and every other westerner up to silly questions from Chinese like those listed above.

The nice thing is that as a westerner, the women will come "praqctice" their English on you. May they look like Lucy instead of Panhandler Patty.

SENOR

whitjohn · Joined: 27 Feb 2003 Posts: 124

Ahhhhh, Senor. Here are the proper responsed to those questions...
Do you like Chinese food? "Love it! That's why I'm so fat!"
When are you going back to America? "Never..why would I leave all this wonderful food and beautiful women?"
Are all Americans fat? "Yep, they eat way too much McD and KFC and they don't walk/ride their bikes. You will be fat too if you eat McD food."
Do you think Chinese girls are beautiful? "Absolutely! Actually you remind me a bit of Lucy Liu."
How do I improve my English? "That's easy Lucy...er... Xiao Hong...come over to my place this evening and we can practice some really useful terms. Bring beer so we don't get too thirsty."

ChinaLady · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 8:41 am Post subject: Questions we are asked?

1. where did you learn to use chopsticks?
A. wow! you can use a fork and knife and spoon.
2. do you cook Chinese?
A. no I really prefer chicken.
3. do you eat Chinese?
A. no I like pork.
4. why do you wear dark socks with your suit?
A. why do you wear white socks with your suit.
5. did you make your jacket, there is no label on the sleve?
A. what does that label say?
okay, we all get the idea. Even more fun is when I explain that I have never been to New York. the concept of west coast to east coast is just not grasped. but I have been to Lhassa. sorry, doesn't count.
the fun part about language learning and sharing are the questions and the answers. we all learn something everyday? I hope so.

Seth · Joined: 05 Feb 2003 Posts: 575 Location: in exile

I've also heard Lucy Liu is a traitor to China for being a Chinese person born in America. This was only a few weeks after being in China, and I didn't understand 'face' yet, nor did I understand circular logic. It was quite an argument!

I get asked 'Will you get a Chinese girlfriend?' I usually smile and say 'It's up to fate' but what I really want to say is 'ARE YOU NUTS??? Have you seen how Chinese women are treated with Western men in this town??!!!' I understand face now.

MartinK · Joined: 01 Mar 2003 Posts: 344

yaco · Joined: 03 Mar 2003 Posts: 473

Dear Seth

I can empathise with the question, ' Do you have a girlfriend?

My students often ask me this question and act with disbelief when I say no. But teacher is there something wrong with you ? I explain to the students ( the few who can understand a little English ) that there is few people in Nantong who speak English.

So i take students as tour guides when i go to the city centre. When i spot a pretty girl, I ask my guides to ask this girl if she speaks English. Alas we are yet to find a girl who speaks English. Then my students advise me ' It is hard to find a girlfriend'.[/list]

xiaoyu · Posted: Tue Mar 18, 2003 10:59 pm Post subject:

my fav questions from chinese people....
how do you get your eyes to be so big?
is your hair really that color?
how can i make my skin as white as yours?
have you kids? (referring to my hip size which apparently is so large that i must have had a litter at a young age)
do you like chinese men?
why aren't you married?
why do you smoke? (asked while they are offering me a cig)
do you like jiaozi?
do you make jiaozi?
if you can't make jiaozi what do you eat?
why do you laugh so much? (usually with an incredulous look on their face)
and finally...... drumroll, please..... you can help me in america? which is constantly asked and receives the constant reply.... if you get there then we will see... however, just because i can travel to another country doesn't mean that i hve the connections to get you there.....

xiaoyu

David Bowles · Joined: 30 Jan 2003 Posts: 249

Questions from a link teacher:
'Will you take your umbrella into the classroom?'
(on seeing dark-skinned English girl):
'Is it from Africa?'
(...redeemed by seeing Chinese-looking girl):
'Is it from China?'
Question from a random woman in the street:
'Are you Japanese?'
Best all-purpose question ever:
'Do you like Chinese?' (in England this would mean take-away- in China, it seems fairly open to interpretation)

Seth · Joined: 05 Feb 2003 Posts: 575 Location: in exile

arioch36 · Joined: 21 Jan 2003 Posts: 3589

I've gotten the same reaction about Lucy liu. I yell at them for being hypocrites.

I like , " I think you must have been good-looking when you were younger" . (I am not yet 40) Is the Chinese person slighly insulting me or stupidly complimenting me?