Job Discussion Forums

[Maitoshi]

So my wife (Japanese) was watching television awhile back and the program was discussing levels of infidelity among married couples in Japan. The program said it is 50%.

I thought this must be a tad high, because even if we assume that both partners cheat in a pair, this means at least 1/4 of marriages are impacted by cheating.

Am I naive, or does this seem high to others on the forum?

[Inflames]

In Japan getting divorced is expensive and you can basically ignore alimony, child support, and child custody obligations, so people don't want to get divorced. If you're doing something and you hate your spouse, why not sleep with someone else?

[rxk22]

I think it is kinda like France, where after you lost the hots for each other, cheating on the sly is over looked. I don't agree with it, but that is how it seems to me.

Look at http://wiki.d-addicts.com/Kekkon_Dekinai_Otoko the main character's brother in law, cheated on the main character's sister, and it was viewed as kinda funny. Not something that I can understand.

[Cool Teacher]

I think it sounds low and probably people will not tell the truth when asked anywya so maybe it is under reported.

Probably there is a lot of infidelity and also I thin ka lot of men might go to prostitutes, does that count?

Also maybe there is secret affairs as well. Luckily this is not true with my wife.

[Cool Teacher]

Also one other thing maybe we foget is tht in the West marraige is romantic and about two loving couples living together for the rest of their lives (or until divorce wihc is really, really common in the West maybe more than 50%!!! ) but in Japan and maybe many other countries in the world marraige is about rasing children and economic security and traditional rolls in society.


So maybe many families in Japan see the mum and dad as the people who are together to raise the kids but then if the dad wants to get some action he goes to the Love Hotel with the office ladies. But probably the divorce rate is lower in Japan compared to the west.

[ZennoSaji]

I remember reading something about how Salarymen are away for sometimes months at a time, so it's kind of a given that both parties would cheat.

If marriage isn't about love and commitment, why marry? Why not just live together and raise a kid and have an otherwise open relationship?

[jtea]

[Cool Teacher]

[ZennoSaji]

[nightsintodreams]

[Didah]

I agree.

Marriage is looked at much differently in Japan. Even though the Japanese society is evolving, there are still many arranged marriages. From what I have seen, a marriage between two Japanese is more a a business contract. I have been told (and have observed) that as long as the economic samuri sariman husband gets up and goes to his lifetime employment job (if he is lucky), brings the salary home and stays out of the way, he can pretty much do what he wants. I have heard stories of sarimen coming home, passing out in the genkan and the wife rousting him up in the morning to go to work.

Did you ever wonder why there are so many old well-dressed men working as parking booth attendants, watchmen and other menial jobs? It's mainly because after they retire, the wife doesn't want him hanging around the house. Sort of the oji-san syndrome.

On fidelity or infidelity, it doesn't seem to matter to Japanese men or women. Just look at all the hostess bars, soaplands and No Pan-T bars where Westerners are strictly forbidden. Of course, in the last decade, Thai "therapeutic" massage parlors are on the rise in Japan. This is all part of the mizuwari or water trade business which rakes in billions of yen each year from Japanese men seeking the company of a woman other than his wife and will pay top dollar for a young blond.

Fidelity is highly overrated in old Nihon.

[Sashadroogie]

Dunno much about Japanese mores. But marriage the world over is and always has been a legal contract concerning property rights. Even in the decadent West where romantic notions may seem to obscure this basic unchanging truth. For those who wish to cling to some recently idealistic notion of marriage at home, take a look at divorce proceedings to see just how tied into property rights it really all is. There isn't much else to it in fact...

[Cool Teacher]

[Cool Teacher]

Here's the divoce rates around the world. The West is very high even though we think in the West that we only marry those ones we love and want to stay with forever.

But look at India where most marriages are arranged:

http://www.divorcemag.com/statistics/statsWorld.shtml

[rxk22]