Job Discussion Forums

[Janiny]

Hi all. I saw this quote somewhere. I have no idea who said it or when. It doesn't matter. It is, however, wisdom to live by, and very much applicable to the ESL classroom:

No one is remembered for what they say. No one is remembered for what they do. They are remembered for how they make people feel.

[johnslat]

Dear Janiny,

Well, the fact that neither you nor Google can remember who said that would seem to prove that the first part, at least, is correct.

Regards,
John

[fluffyhamster]

What we say is very important - we're linguistic creatures (homo loquens blah blah blah), and our words are deeds (i.e. speech acts) with functional effects, including altering others' thoughts and feelings. I imagine it would be hard to make people feel really anything (other than boredom lol) if we didn't say that much, especially in a language classroom! But obviously there is more to people's emotional lives and well-being than non-stop talking, and silence can be golden - that, or nice bit of music and imagery, say: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PuehMD-OGYw

[nomad soul]

[Janiny]

Thanks John and Soul. I'm going to read more Angelou now.

Fluffy, obviously language teachers and people have to say something, and what is saidis important. What I meant is that we need to consider what we project in the classroom, or life in general. Sticking with the classroom, discipline, curriculum, being informative, or funny are all very well, but like Angelou, and Henry James as quoted in Johnslat's avatar I have found what lasts is kindness. I suppose I remember all sorts of things teachers have taught me over the years, but even more so I remember certain individual teacher's kind words or kind acts.

Think of a eulogy? What is said of the deceased? That he broke his departmental sales earning records for three straight quarters one year? That he could recite his favorite sports teams stats from memory for the past 25 years? That he kept his lawn trimmed and his pool clean? That he took so many wonderful photos of the places he had visited? No, they recall his kind acts, and if he has only a few or none of real note, they make something up.

Remember the old joke about some cranky old nozzle who had died, and no one could think of anything nice to say about him? Finally, an acquaintance got up and said, "His brother was worse!" And returned to his seat. I think it comes to that.

The best we can do is show our students that we are gentle and kind and caring, and hope that they in turn will behave so to others. English language skills are just incidental.

I see lots of teacher, especially Chinese teachers of school students, screaming at their classes and they honestly believe its necessary to do so. I try to show them that it's not the way. No one ever learns much being yelled at or insulted. if anything, it makes it less likely that they will learn. Gentle ways are best.

[likwid_777]

Totally true. Even days out from an interaction, I often can't remember what someone has said, but I know my feeling.

Of Maya's, I also like this one:

“Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.”

― Maya Angelou

[Janiny]

[likwid_777]

Yes, both of these quotes are from email and/or Facebook territory. Hehe. However, it's interesting to know that both statements originated from the same lady. I was thinking of the "feeling" quote yesterday, and upon searching, found that both were uttered by the same lady. I wonder whether it was coincidental or not, that both were quite relevant to the overall picture.

With teaching, we remember the impression left by those who taught us. That is because we rebel against those we are affronted by, and accept the wisdom and knowledge imparted by others. Generally, those we appreciate as mentors are those we will learn from.

Subject teachers, can you make students interested in topics, and engaged to learn? ESL teachers, can you do the same, and make them comfortable to talk? A student might be more engaged if made a priority, too.

[fluffyhamster]

[Janiny]

[likwid_777]

[fluffyhamster]

[fluffyhamster]

@likwid: I think most people would prefer engaging and personable to ruthless and grim. It can help increase attention and retention. That being said (and at the other extreme), pandering too much to a lark-around and possibly lazy class for fear of cracking on isn't good, either!