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johnslat
Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
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 Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 4:12 pm Post subject: You know you've been in Saudi too long when . . . . |
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Any of these seem familiar?
You start to enjoy camping in the sand
You are not surprised to see a goat in the passenger seat
You are equally unsurprised to see camels riding in pickups
You think the uncut version of “Little House On The Prairie” is provocative
You serve coffee in a thimble
You expect the confirmation of your airline reservation to be “Inshallah”
You buy a falcon hood for your gear lever
You don’t expect to eat dinner till 11.30 pm
You need a sweater and it’s 90 degrees Fahrenheit
You serve siddiqui over ice at drink parties
You enjoy Saudi Channel 2 TV
You have to write an official apology because your toes are uncovered
You think cars are available only in white
Your idea of housework is leaving a list for the houseboy
You understand “ma fi mushkila " (no problem) means “BIG problems"
Your measure of success is coming home from the souq without a confrontation
You think a picnic means pulling over to the side of the road with a TV and a water pipe
You own more than one Rolex
You think black is appropriate daytime wear for all women
You wear a jacket inside and take it off outside
You think all crimes should be punishable by beheading
You think shopping malls are covered souqs
You can judge a perfect size “10” by the ankle
You think carpets belong on the wall
Your favorite hamburger chain features a goat for a logo
You think anyone carrying a cane is out to get you
You turn up the air-conditioning to write Christmas cards
You enjoy the Arab News because it has a few adverts
You know which end of the schwarma to unwrap first
You think the further you inch into the intersection, the faster the light will turn green
You carry an umbrella and it isn’t raining
You give directions by landmarks
You think all gas stations are made of marble
You look forward to the Monday edition of “Islam in Perspective”
You think every major purchase is preceded by cups of tea
You think being liberated means sitting in the family section of a restaurant
You think a red light means “Go”
You think only men should hold hands in public
You can’t buy anything without asking for a discount
You have more carpets than floor space
You think there’s a correlation between the acceleration of the car in front of you and the speed at which you can blow your horn when the light turns green
You think “feminine mystique” means covering up
You make left turns from the far right lane
You expect gold on every birthday
You think Pepsi begins with a “B”
You send friends a map instead of your address
You expect a palace on every corner
You think Kleenex belongs on the dining room table
Your week is highlighted by a trip to the Supermarket
You measure time by the number of prayer calls
Your ideal vacation is anywhere you can eat a pig
You begin admiring other women’s “Designer” abayas
You expect to pay more for water than for gas
You get confused because US money isn’t color-coded
You are not surprised to see an 8 year old Saudi male driving the car next to you
Regards,
John |
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Hatcher
Joined: 20 Mar 2008
Posts: 602
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| Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 10:42 pm Post subject: |
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| You are posting on eslcafe.com.... |
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esl_prof
Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Posts: 2006
Location: peyi kote solèy frèt
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| Posted: Tue Dec 30, 2014 11:16 pm Post subject: Re: You know you've been in Saudi too long when . . . . |
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| johnslat wrote: |
| Any of these seem familiar? |
I've yet to visit Saudi, but many of these things accurately describe other parts of the world where I've lived.
| johnslat wrote: |
| You get confused because US money isn’t color-coded |
Sigh!!! U.S. money is so drab looking after having lived elsewhere in the world. |
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MixtecaMike
Joined: 19 Nov 2003
Posts: 643
Location: Guatebad
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:01 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: |
| You enjoy Saudi Channel 2 TV |
Apparently Al-Jazeera English is leaving Arabsat today, so if I can't figure out how to adjust my set I might be back to Channel 2 again. It's better than CNN, at least. |
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cmp45
Joined: 17 Aug 2004
Posts: 1475
Location: KSA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:55 am Post subject: |
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I think John misses Saudi Arabia...  |
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plumpy nut
Joined: 12 Mar 2011
Posts: 1652
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 7:41 am Post subject: Re: You know you've been in Saudi too long when . . . . |
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| esl_prof wrote: |
Sigh!!! U.S. money is so drab looking after having lived elsewhere in the world. |
Yes, but US money doesn't disintegrate while your taking it in and out of your wallet. I have to fold my Saudi bills when I place them inside, otherwise they rip apart. US money is indestructible. |
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plumpy nut
Joined: 12 Mar 2011
Posts: 1652
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 7:42 am Post subject: |
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| MixtecaMike wrote: |
| It's better than CNN, at least. |
If American news isn't you're slice of cake perhaps BBC Asia which is on all the satellite channel sets I've watched. |
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grahamb
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 1945
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 8:54 am Post subject: Too long |
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| Quote: |
| You can’t buy anything without asking for a discount |
When I was feeling mischievous, I'd say Ahir kalaam? at the checkout in supermarkets such as Carrefour. Most folk got the joke, but some would apologise and say Sorry, no discount. |
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MixtecaMike
Joined: 19 Nov 2003
Posts: 643
Location: Guatebad
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 12:08 pm Post subject: |
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| plumpy nut wrote: |
If American news isn't you're slice of cake perhaps BBC Asia which is on all the satellite channel sets I've watched. |
No I was just grumbling, we watch Euronews (in Spanish) and France 24 English, and BBC World from time to time. Even CNN is better than Kuwait English news, which seems to be ten minutes of eminent people shaking hands with each other. |
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johnslat
Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 1:51 pm Post subject: |
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Dear cmp45,
Well, with the onset of geezerhood, nostalgia runs rampant, you know.
Those rose-colored glasses can make even the dark and drab past times seem bright and alluring. 
Yeah, right - I miss Saudi about as much as I miss Parris Island and Vietnam.
Moss the places - not one whit. But one thing those places have in common is that I made some great friends in all three, some of whom I'm still in contact with decades later.
Miss the place? Nope!!! But the people I got to know? Yup!!!
Regards,
John |
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grahamb
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 1945
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 4:31 pm Post subject: Missing |
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John, didn't you love Parris in the springtime?  |
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johnslat
Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 5:42 pm Post subject: |
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Dear grahamb,
I'm sorry to say I was there in the winter: Nov. - Feb., 1963/64. One advantage: you tended not to sweat as much during the forced night marches.
Regards,
John |
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grahamb
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 1945
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:05 pm Post subject: No sweat |
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John, I'm sure you made up for it when you arrived in Vietnam. Those Full Metal Jackets must have been terribly uncomfortable.
Let's see if anyone falls for it... |
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johnslat
Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:10 pm Post subject: |
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Dear grahamb,
My guess: about 7.62 of the readers will understand.
Regards,
John |
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grahamb
Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 1945
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| Posted: Wed Dec 31, 2014 6:28 pm Post subject: Measure for measure |
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| .308 in 'merican, surely, John? |
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