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Transitioning Home after Years Abroad
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esl_prof



Joined: 30 Nov 2013
Posts: 2006
Location: peyi kote solèy frèt

PostPosted: Sat May 23, 2015 5:59 pm    Post subject: Transitioning Home after Years Abroad Reply with quote

Reverse culture shock when coming home is often harder to deal with than the initial culture shock of going abroad.

I lived in the Caribbean for roughly sixteen years, leaving home at age 23 and returning at age 39 (thinking that I'd be heading abroad again within 6-12 months, but that never happened). In short, I'd lived most of my adult life outside of the United States.

For me the two biggest frustrations upon returning home were:
1. Learning how to navigate the totally insane system of health insurance (both pre- and post-Obamacare) here in the U.S.
2. Learning how to navigate Federal income tax laws, loopholes, etc. (Much easier from overseas as I never made enough to have to pay Federal taxes in the first place.)

How long were you away? And what were your biggest challenges, frustrations, annoyances when you came home?
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343

PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2015 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Coming back, after years away, and finding out that no one is interested in the fascinating life that you have led in all those years travelling the planet !

Most people do not want to hear about where you have been, what you have seen and what you have done.

I understand that Marco Polo experienced this syndrome too.
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santi84



Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Posts: 1317
Location: under da sea

PostPosted: Wed May 27, 2015 11:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was away for four years.

1. People "back home" have no idea how good they have it, in terms of healthcare, (lack of) taxes, and overall government services.
2. "Okay" conversational French is considered bilingual. It took me days to find a job in a French school.
3. The food here is awful. $5-6/kg for a nearly-rotten pepper?
4. Most people in North America are fatter than I remember.

And my personal favourite:

5. I can no longer feign ignorance of the language to avoid talking to people Laughing
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BadBeagleBad



Joined: 23 Aug 2010
Posts: 1186
Location: 24.18105,-103.25185

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 2:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, at this point I have lived more of my life outside the US than in, and never really considered it home. I was born in Mexico, lived here till I was 5 or 6, we moved to Chicago, where I lived from 6 till 17, when I returned to Mexico for a few years, then back to Chicago for college. I think about 6 or 7 years I really starting noticing a change in Americans´ attitudes about things, they seem meaner, somehow, not at all compassionate, and more openly racist than I remember even 25 years ago. Like ESL prof, I dread the thought of getting sick when I am in the US, and go less and less often. Most likely when the few remaining relatives I have pass away I won´t go. I just take health care for granted in Mexico, I guess, since I never pay for anything unless I choose to - which I do sometimes just for saving time sometimes. I take several meds that I could not afford to pay for in the US, and I pay nothing here. (And I usually get a backup set every few months at a government subsidized pharmacy for 10 pesos - less than 1USD, for a 30 day supply). But I think the biggest thing for me would be not really fitting in with people - most of whom have never even travelled outside the US, much less lived outside the US - so many of their experiences and even cultural benchmarks - music, TV, etc, are foreign to me. So I really do hope I never have to live there, I think I would be miserable, present security situation in Mexico notwithstanding.
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Stranger in a Strange Land

You become foreign wherever you are - even "back home"

Learn to love your Alienation !
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Unrung School Bell



Joined: 13 May 2015
Posts: 43

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 12:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

After just a year in Japan, I got on a bus in the U.S. and was confused by the decimal point. The driver told me it was a buck twenty. I couldn't understand what he meant. I had yen coins mixed with my U.S. currency. He could tell I was a native, but assumed I was just f*cking with his mind. He saw those big yen coins and he got so mad, he kicked me off the bus. I never felt so lame.
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spiral78



Joined: 05 Apr 2004
Posts: 11534
Location: On a Short Leash

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 12:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think santi's 'back home' is Canada, land of "socialized medicine." I have also been in the Canadian health care system and had nothing but good experiences.

Definitely not the same in the US!

For me, health care is yet another reason I have no desire whatsoever to every live in the US again - I'm with the bad beagle on this.
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santi84



Joined: 14 Mar 2008
Posts: 1317
Location: under da sea

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 12:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

spiral78 wrote:
I think santi's 'back home' is Canada, land of "socialized medicine." I have also been in the Canadian health care system and had nothing but good experiences.


Yes Smile
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spanglish



Joined: 21 May 2009
Posts: 742
Location: working on that

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 9:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

santi84 wrote:
spiral78 wrote:
I think santi's 'back home' is Canada, land of "socialized medicine." I have also been in the Canadian health care system and had nothing but good experiences.


Yes Smile


Ditto.
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Hod



Joined: 28 Apr 2003
Posts: 1613
Location: Home

PostPosted: Thu May 28, 2015 10:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

2005 to 2015: Ten years out of TEFL (anniversary and party in exactly seven day's time)

2012 to 2015: Three years back in UK - How can you struggle in your homeland?

I can go back to Germany, Malaysia and Thailand any time as a tourist and not a struggler. I just booked four weeks in Malaysia over Christmas as I did last year. Is this transitioning really that hard? I love it back in UK.
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 8:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Escaped from EFL ? What do you do ?
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Seymour Glass



Joined: 18 Jul 2010
Posts: 35

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 9:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've been in Asia for nearly thirty years, tried to go back to the US at one point in between, stayed all of five months before high tailing it back...my father told me it was probably because I was having trouble "disorienting" myself back home...
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 1:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Eh ? What does that mean ?

Removing yourself from the Orient ?
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Seymour Glass



Joined: 18 Jul 2010
Posts: 35

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Play on words: orient: "tailor or adapt (something) to specified circumstances." disoriented: "having lost your bearings; confused as to time or place or personal identity", so after living in the orient for so long, upon returning home I needed time to become disoriented...
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scot47



Joined: 10 Jan 2003
Posts: 15343

PostPosted: Fri May 29, 2015 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Having to explain it takes away the humour.
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