Job Discussion Forums

[ranmawoman]

More and more I've been thinking of fleeing the US to teach and have fun in a foreign country. The problem is that I don't know if I'm doing it for the right reasons or not and was hoping for advice from you all experienced teachers.

I've been living in CA for the past 21 years and have just gotten out of a long 8 year relationship that ended up in a very bad breakup. Let's just say that I now have an ex-fiance...

I'm now looking to flee the country in search of a new life, new experiences, new environment. I've graduated in a top US University, worked in a multitude of large multinational corporations. I used to tutor in High School and in college, I taught at risk inner city kids for a year. It was pretty fun but at times challenging because they took advantage of the fact that I understood Chinese as well. They would lie, cheat, but I was able to handle all of that. At work, I've trained new employees, taught and designed a class for 100 employees on how to use computers.... Now I'm looking for a change in every way possible.

Is this the right reason to want to go to a foreign country to teach and meet new people etc? Should I sit here and marinate for a while longer to get this breakup out of my system?

The second part to my question is this. For all your experienced teachers out there. Are you meeting new teachers whilst you work? Is there a teacher's group etc out there? ie how are you meeting people?

This is one of my main concerns because to get through what I'm going through, I'm leaning on a lot of friends and family out here. I'm a sociable person but am a bit worried about how to meet people and afraid of being lonely out there.

I'm looking into 1. Japan 2. Taiwan 3. HK 4. China. Whadda y'all think?

Please help!!!!

[johnslat]

Dear ranmawoman,
You sound as though you're worried that you may be "running away from something" - well, maybe you are, but you can be running towards something, too. There's nothing wrong, I think, with wanting to "shake up your life" a little - it's all too easy to get into ruts. Inertia is a mighty powerful force. Change can be good; it can make us "rediscover ourselves"; it can even (sometimes) let us "reinvent ourselves". And if you want to get that "breakup" out of your system, I'd say that'd be easier to do in new surroundings, among different people. What you wrote about your work background makes me guess you'd do well teaching. Besides, if you don't do it, you'll likely often wonder what your life would have been like if you had. Giving it a try, even for just a year, doesn't seem to me to be too big a risk. Will you make new friends, over there? No guarantees, of course, but I'd say you will - if you want to. I made some of the strongest and longest friendships of my life while I was teaching abroad. Will you be lonely? Probably sometimes, but heck - you can be lonely anywhere. And you may discover that being alone can be very different from being lonely. You may discover wellsprings of self-reliance in you that you've never suspected you had.
Your list of possible locales looks good to me. But first you have to make the commitment and do the reseach.
Heading off into the wild blue can be a little scary; it can also be exciting.
That's what adventures make you feel: scared and excited. And what's life without some adventure?
Regards,
John

[khmerhit]

Good post, John.

Dear Ranmawoman,
I am rather disappointed to see that a cerain country is not on your list of prospective destinations. However, that won't stop me from wishing you goodluck and urging you to go for it. Never mind all that research stuff, just hop on a plane and vamoose!! You might even think of going to



















cambodia. try it and see.

[denise]

One question that I always ask during interviews is about the relationships between the teachers. I try to cloak it in professional terms--something like, "Do the teachers work well together?"--but basically the answer that I'm hoping to hear is some sort of indication that they not only work well in school, but also have personal relationships outside of school. I want to make sure that I will have some friends at the school, and not end up at the sort of place where every foreign teacher thinks he/she is too good to hang out with other foreigners. So far, so good. I've always found friends. (And I'm a shy little thing!)

d

[ranmawoman]

Thanks all for responding to my message. As for Cambodia... Hehe. You really must like Cambodia. If I were more adventurous and less "anal" about 3rd world areas, I may consider. Sorry!

Hopefully John reads this thread again, but as for research... What type of research are you talking about and how does one go about doing this sort of research? Does this mean digging up information on the school or what exactly does this mean?

[rj]

[Guest]

I personally do not think there is a "wrong" reason for coming here to teach. Everyone I meet has a "different" reason, but I find them all acceptable.

I say life is too short and you should FOLLOW YOUR HEART no matter where that leads you.

Obviously you are thinking along the lines of experiencing a new culture etc., so I would recommend that you bite the bullet and just do it. You can always start off with a 6 month contract to see how you like it.

Due to my lack of qualifications and experience, several people on Daves told me to STAY AT HOME but I ignored them all and I have taken to China like a duck to water. I am planning on teaching at this School for a few more years yet and then retiring in China.

[shmooj]

I think it is important to recognise, as you have, at least the potential for using emigration and TESOL as way to escape. This could have quite an effect on you depending on how it works out for you. Obviously, you are going to have to work through the ending of your relationship at some point. Doing that in a familiar place might be easier than doing it in a place where you feel isolated and in the grip of culture shock might be very tough. You might also not realise how much this might add to the stresses of moving to a new culture.

I don't for a minute think that your decision to move into EFL is a bad one - there are all sorts of reasons people get into it. And I don't think that you will only have a bad experience. But it will definitely be stressful to make the change to a new career and a new culture - especially the latter. People often don't realise how difficult it is psychologically and emotionally to settle successfully overseas. This is especially true if, as you have, they have lived for decades in their home territory before making the move.

Just something to bear in mind...

[Gordon]

I was going to say the same thing as Shmooj, but he beat me to the punch. Going through an emotional period is especially difficult when you are away from any support group (family and friends). I'd say think it through a bit and once you get over the break up a bit more (not sure how fresh it all is) come over if it is still your decision to do it. When you are in a stressful period of your life it's never a good time to make big decisions like changing continents and jobs.

[spiral78]

On the other hand, for some people, the intensity of being in totally new surroundings may help you to get over your feelings about the end of a relationship. Basically, because there's just so much else to think about!

For me, the worst thing in that situation would be to remain in the area where that relationship happened (being confronted with memories at every turn), and the challenge and excitement of the new life would help.
Not to say that you wouldn't still go through the feelings of loss, but maybe they could be a bit less intense.

Everybody's different; this worked for me once. Maybe not for you! But personally, I wouldn't put a life change on hold, so long as I'd thought it out completely, was sure it was something I wanted regardless of the loss of my relationship, and did it in a safe and organized way.

[Hyo-Shin]

i say come...come immediately...let us know where you end up and we'll all party....well...not if it's outside of korea...but in that case, I'll send you well wishes

[Roger]

I failed to notice this thread before...
But John, in his gentlemanly way, has answered your questions much in the way I think is the best.

Of course, fleeing from one situation in one country routinely leads to you finding yourself in the same mess in a different place; the situation there might be exacerbated by the foreignness of the place.
On the other hand, staying put means mental and moral stagnation followed by worse, perhaps alcoholism.
Just don't expect schools in China to be particularly rewarding from a professional point of view. Frustration is bound to affect you.

As for teacher/teacher rapport: I am glad I have a relatively rare nationality. I found myself in the position of the glue between the boards of various nationalities. Thre is a strong tendency sometimes to demarcate one's national territory and to keep others out.
But if yolu can forget your own prejudices against, say, Brits or French, then you might have a good time here.

[nawlinsgurl]

My parents asked me six years ago why I was studing Japanese when I could be perfecting my Spanish.

I said "Because I just want to."

That is the best reason for you to do anything...well except for killing someone, bombing a building, or wearing white shoes after labor day.

I am not overseas yet, but I am going b/c I always wanted to go to Japan and all of the nearby countries.
I am sure it will not only be an experience but also make some great memories. I am a perfect example of someone who shouldn't be able to make friends but I do. (I am loud, opinionated--somewhat bitchy, and extremely forgetful)

Leave all the crap behind and go!!! Cliche time: You only live once...well unless you are a cat or get reincarnated!!!

[Hyo-Shin]

i think you'll meet very few people who regret their time abroad

[kait]

I think most counselors would tell you that no major decisions should be made for about a year after a big loss. I think you'll still experience everything that goes with the grieving process, even if you're abroad. Some of it may be put on hold while you deal with the unique challenges of living overseas, but some of it, like the lonliness, may be accentuated. You may be putting yourself in a situation where you'll have difficulty communicating with the people you spend the most time with. There may also be the fact that you'll be living in a country with people who will want to help, but who are not comfortable with displays of intense emotion. I would suggest that if you do decide to go overseas, that you limit your search to more populated areas, and you may want to go through a larger program, like Hess or JET. These programs will at least give you a peer group as soon as you enter the country. They may, or may not live in the same town, but some of them are always a phone call, or a bus ride away.

On a personal note, I wish you well. I lost my fiance a year ago, and I know the broad range of emotion I can experience in the matter of hours. One of the things I've learned through this past year is that my support network is actually larger than I thought it was. There are probably a lot of people in your life who care about you more than you realize. Don't hesitate to ask them for help when you need it. I've been awe struck several times this past year by how much people are willing to help who I would have never dreamed of asking. Take care of yourself.