Job Discussion Forums

[naturegirl321]

I love it, there's so many things and it's hard to explain it do people who have never done it.
I'm really starting to think of living abroad for a long time, and trying to convince people back "home" that I've made the right decision. BUt, wow do people get offensive. My parents, my father in particular thinks that I've got something against America and keeps on telling me how so many people would give anything to live there, etc.
So how do you gently you tell people back "home" that you won't be returning?

[foster]

My friends and family have pretty much accepted it. When they ask when I am coming home, I say in the summer for a visit. When they ask when for good, I say when I have enough money saved to retire a rich woman and once I have travelled the world. They seem to accept that answer. One of my friends told me before I told him that I was never coming home. His exact quote was "I dont see you returning here for good, ever"

I explain the financial situation here, the work situation, the travel situation and they all seem to think it is a better place for me at the time. Yes, they miss me but they don't see it as a black mark against Canada. They know I miss home and that there things about Canada that are infinitely better than HK. (Gov't medical, cheap housing)

My dad and mum know this is the best place for me at the moment and they accept that.

[leby26]

I'm running into that problem trying to convince my family that I can go - they sit and argue with me about it endlessly, and its not just them, its anyone that I happen to mention my plans to. They get all worked up about it and I keep having to defend my life choices - it can get really discouraging, the 'why why why' 's, the 'what about a husband and family ' 's or 'yeah, sure you will, but...' 's wear on me - but it actually only makes me want to break out of this sheltered little bubble-life I've been leading in small-town Ontario even more !!

I've always planned on moving to another country as soon as I move out, and can't picture going back really when I do, never pictures myself staying in one place - but some people just don't agree and think I'm dreaming - at least you guys don't

[johnslat]

Dear naturegirl,
Given the attitude of your "homefolks" it may well be the case that nothing you can tell them is going to reconcile them to your choice of lifestyle. That's the bad news; the good news is that time almost certainly will do so. It's probably just going to take them a while to adjust to the fact that you're happier teaching abroad than you would be working in the States. You might try the

"You want me to be happy, don't you? Well, THIS is what makes me happy"

line, but don't expect them to warmly embrace your decision overnight. I'd say the odds are very good, though, that eventually they'll see the light.
Regards,
P.S. One thing that never fails to amaze me is how little interest so many people here in the States seem to have about the rest of the world (It's OK for ME to say that - I'm a Yank). More than that, a good many appear to regard most of the remainder of the planet as "dirty, dangerous and
peculiar". But then, I suspect - well, actually, I KNOW - such insularity is hardly restricted to Americans.
John

[khmerhit]

Dr John remarked

[johnslat]

Dear khmerhit,
Was it this gentleman, perhaps?

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0679739947/102-2722842-6968923?v=glance


But probably not since this journey took place about 20 years ago.

The lack of good foreign news coverage here in the USA IS disgraceful.
But, with the Net and with BBC America, most who are truly interested can find their own coverage.

Regards,
John

[Capergirl]

[ls650]

[James_T_Kirk]

My feelings echo what all of you have posted! I am to the point now where I don't even bother trying to explain to people why I am moving abroad. Most people just don't get it. Fortunately, my family is understanding and supportive (of course, my father lives abroad, so my situation is slightly different). Others have trouble comprehending why I would want to leave the "greatest country in the world". When did we decide that the United States was the "greatest country in the world" anyway? Since the U.S. is last "superpower", does that automatically allow Americans to claim this title? Or was there a worldwide vote that I somehow missed? I really get irritated when Americans that have never left their home country makes this statement!

[khmerhit]

John said

[Marcoregano]

What's so appealing about living abroad? Many things, but particularly..... not being able to understand tedious and often puerile day-to-day banter. It's always a shock when I go home and can understand the nonsense people generally talk about.

[Lanza-Armonia]

The enequity of it all. Live like kings <or queens, depending on which way you swing>, paid a huge local salary, learning foreign languages, seeing parts of the world people can only dream about. Kiss my a$$ Europe, I ain't coming home for a while yet...

LA

[yaramaz]

My friends and family have told me repeatedly that they are happily living vicariously through me. Since I had been actively plotting my escape since age 10 (maybe younger), no one was surprised when I packed my bags at 19 and never really came back (except for random terms at university which finally led to a BA after 10 years of intermittent study). I like being away. I find that during the times I was at home, I was fine and fairly happy with the calm and normality and relative easiness of everything, but also seriously restless. I could possibly maybe potentially adapt to a normal life some time in the future but not right now. My eye is always open for new places, new ideas.

[foster]

Well said Yaramaz! I think there is a lot of independance required to do what we do and to do it year after year after year after....

No one is shocked that I left. According to my mother, I would have moved out the house when I was 7, but there are laws. I say 5, but that is neither here nor there.

[struelle]