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How to handle forming friendships?
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Knedliki



Joined: 08 May 2015
Posts: 160

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 8:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've worked with a few people that I'd happily punch in the face if I ever have the misfortune of meeting them again. Evil or Very Mad
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alonzo9772



Joined: 23 Sep 2016
Posts: 55

PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2016 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Knedliki wrote:
I've worked with a few people that I'd happily punch in the face if I ever have the misfortune of meeting them again. Evil or Very Mad


Oh yeah, I also experienced that when I was an exchange student in Korea. There were probably about five people in my program that I would have had an altercation with if I would have stayed there for one more week. The negative part of my exchange program is that we were all required to live in the same dorm building, so we would have to all see each other when we would go to the restroom and shower area in the middle of the hallway. That is just part of life, though. Not everyone is going to jive together.
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SammytheSlug



Joined: 23 Nov 2016
Posts: 6

PostPosted: Wed Dec 21, 2016 5:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

One thing I've noticed - and it's evident in some posts on this thread - is that some tefl teachers regard the company of other tefl teachers to be in some way beneath them.

Never become like that. Just get on with life like you would anywhere.
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Ray Of Light



Joined: 27 Sep 2016
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Sun Dec 25, 2016 8:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

OhBudPowellWhereArtThou wrote:


As was stated before, most FTs don't get too close to other FTs. There's a reason for it.


That sounds awful.

Not doubting you, just...well, I guess things are more competitive out there in remote zones? Is there a feeling of limited resources?
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Hod



Joined: 28 Apr 2003
Posts: 1613
Location: Home

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 4:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SammytheSlug wrote:
Some teachers never bother that much trying to become friends with colleagues due to how often people come and go. I think that's the wrong approach.

Just take things as you would at home. You'll meet some people you instantly get on with, others you take a while to warm to, some you can't stand. Of those, some will eventually become friends. Then you'll both move to different countries. At that point, you'll lose touch with some people. Others will remain in touch. Some will exchange visits or meet up on trips home etc.

What he said.
OhBudPowellWhereArtThou wrote:
As was stated before, most FTs don't get too close to other FTs. There's a reason for it.

What a depressing life some must have then. You land in a foreign country with no friends or family and no clue of the language or culture. Not making friends in such an environment is seriously unhealthy.
I’ve seen this with high fliers at the BC. I pitied them because they had neither control over their lives nor the countries they ended up in. Well, they could have control over their lives, but that would require leaving the BC, and many would admit their transferrable skills wouldn’t be good for much beyond the deli counter at Waitrose.
Back to the friends issue, though, I’m not ashamed to admit being upset to see some friends move on. Overseas you don’t normally have a load of friends nearby, and once you filter out the fakes and story tellers, some of the people left might turn out to be decent friends. The pros and cons of life overseas can be shared with friends, and this all adds to the bonding experience.
It probably doesn’t help that I’ve never been interested in Facebook, but as I say I regret losing touch with a handful of friends, and I see no shame in that.
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Dr X



Joined: 04 Jul 2016
Posts: 84
Location: Everywhere

PostPosted: Mon Dec 26, 2016 5:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. - Proverbs 18:24.
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Knedliki



Joined: 08 May 2015
Posts: 160

PostPosted: Tue Dec 27, 2016 6:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've never had a problem making friends with the locals wherever I've been, it's one of the best parts of the whole TEFL experience for me. I still keep in touch with people from years ago, more so than any of my colleagues. I'm not saying you should actively avoid your colleagues but there's too many people who have negative energy for me Cool
I'm thinking of the kind who spend x amount of years in a country, never learn any of the language and spend most of their free time getting drunk and moaning about the country with like minded colleagues.
Some people spend their whole time abroad in an expat bubble which seems a shame to me.

Not to mention the deviants, alcoholics and all the rest you meet over the years.
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