Job Discussion Forums

[ntropy]

Why Beer is Better Than Religion

--No one will kill you for not drinking beer
--Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex
--Beer has never caused a major war
--They don't force beer on minors too young to think for themselves
-- When you have beer you don't feel compelled to knock on people's doors (or their heads) to force people to share it with you
--Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over their brand of beer
-- There are laws saying beer labels can't lie to you
-- You can prove beer exists
-- If you're too devoted to beer, there are groups to help you get a real life

[Rhino]

does beer give eternal life?

[kait]

[Truman]

[ntropy]

Nothing or nobody GIVES you eternal life. We all already have it.

[inmexico]

In the words of Homer (Simpson) "Beer, is there anything it can't do?"

[johnslat]

Since both God and beer seem to be the topics here, I offer this excerpt from A.E. Houseman's " Terrance, This Is Stupid Stuff":

"Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world's not.
And faith, 'tis pleasant till 'tis past:
The mischief is that 'twill not last.
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where,
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
And I myself a sterling lad;
And down in lovely muck I've lain,
Happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet,
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew."

Regards,
John

[Mark-O]

[culfy]

[quote="ntropy"]Why Beer is Better Than Religion

--No one will kill you for not drinking beer

Try being in a crowd of 'lads' on an office night out and saying you'd prefer to stick to soft drinks. You may not be killed, but the asperations cast upon your gender/sexuality thereafter may make you want to kill yourself.

--Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex

Although it quite often tells you who to have sex with......er so I've heard.

-- When you have beer you don't feel compelled to knock on people's doors (or their heads) to force people to share it with you

However, apparently some people feel compelled to try and share everything else with you after beer.

[worth]

Since we're talking about beer and God, I feel compelled to quote one of my favorite statesmen/philosophers, Ben Franklin, who said,


"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!"


Nowhere is this more true than in the beautiful Northwest of the US, where some of the best beer in the world is produced. I can already hear the Brits and Aussies rolling their eyes, but I'm not talking about Bud or Coors light (ugh!).

[lozwich]

[AsiaTraveller]

[Will.]

Yeah,
The only(?) thing is, you have to go the toilet so much, not really a good delivery system for it really, not concentrated enough. The trouble with beer is you need to eat crisps and peanuts and beersticks and stuff and that is what gives you a beergut, not the beer. Plus you have to drink in places full of football loving sports addicts who smoke and swear and smell bad and don't brush their teeth much... well, it looks that way doesn't it?

[leeroy]

Beer rocks.

I'm an English teacher in London, and I'm happy.

Enough said, really.

Sobriety (and religion) is so overrated.

[kait]

[quote= "Will"]The only(?) thing is, you have to go the toilet so much, not really a good delivery system for it really, not concentrated enough. [/quote]

Yes, I suppose people don't really buy beer, they rent it.