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guest of Japan
Joined: 28 Feb 2003
Posts: 1601
Location: Japan
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 Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 2:10 pm Post subject: Too funny |
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Drinking and shotguns in your pants don't mix
Man jailed for illegal firearm possession after shooting self in groinThe Associated Press
Updated: 5:00 p.m. ET July 13, 2004SHEFFIELD, England - A man who shot himself in the groin after drinking 15 pints of beer and stuffing a sawed-off shotgun down his trousers was jailed for five years Tuesday for illegal possession of a firearm.
David Walker, 28, underwent emergency surgery after the March 6 incident in Dinnington, northern England. Tests were continuing to learn if Walker would be left infertile, his lawyer Gulzar Syed said.
�He still feels quite severe pain,� Syed told Sheffield Crown Court, adding that some pellets still were lodged in Walker�s groin area.
Walker had admitted one charge of possession of a prohibited firearm at a previous hearing.
Prosecuting lawyer Andrew Hatton told the court Walker had gone home to get the shotgun after arguing in the pub with lifelong friend Stuart Simpson about whose turn it was to buy a beer.
As he was returning to the pub, which had closed by then, he accidentally fired the weapon.
�He had it shoved down his trousers,� Hatton said. �After the shotgun had discharged he placed it in a rubbish bin and crawled back to his home.�
Walker told officers he was so drunk he had no idea how he managed to shoot himself and why he had gone home for the gun.
Judge Robert Moore said recent legislation regarding banned weapons meant he had to impose the statutory five-year minimum sentence.
�The shooting of yourself is plainly an exceptional circumstance which is capable of reducing the sentence,� Moore said. �But in this case, I am quite certain, it does not justify reducing it below the statutory minimum.�
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That was from MSN News. I naturally come to expect this kind of story in the US, but it's even funnier being from the mother country. |
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Atlas
Joined: 09 Jun 2003
Posts: 662
Location: By-the-Sea PRC
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 4:08 pm Post subject: |
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The official American response:
ahem:
Good thinking, sending him to prison. We have to keep these nuts off the street.
All a prison sentence will do is rub saltpeter in the wound
Victims of Gun-in-the-Pants Violence: a support group with no members
I don't believe that c.ock and bull-barrel story
Guns don't kill people; belt buckles kill people
In the Ladies Loo: Premature discharges--now an imprisonable offense
Advice from inmates: the pen.is mightier than the sword but not the 12 gauge
Prison nickname: Smith & Johnson
Moral of the story: don't go around half-co.cked unless you really mean it
Last words to the barmaid: Keep the tip |
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Bindair Dundat
Joined: 04 Feb 2003
Posts: 1123
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| Posted: Mon Jul 19, 2004 7:50 pm Post subject: |
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Man, those Brits are so violent! That's what you get when you let a bunch of gun-lovers run around loose. They act like they think they're still out in the woods.
BD |
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