Job Discussion Forums

[Sweetsee]

If you were going to write a piece, for your mostly girls senior high school paper to be distributed after the summer break, what would you write about?

[PAULH]

[Sweetsee]

Thanks Paul,

I like the mobile phone topic. Read any good articles about it?

[PAULH]

Not really one on Japan but a magazine article sent from home had an article about textmessaging by high students. Some people send 500-1000 a day I believe and get thoroughly addicted to them. How they wont go anywhere without phones and how they multitask using their phones. Im pretty sure Mainichi Waiwai must have had something too.

[Sweetsee]

I welcome all comments on this rough draft of my piece for the paper:


It was the first use of language that allowed our ancient ancestors to develop methods of survival, which enabled them to flourish, and signaled the dawn of civilization. Hunting methods communicated through language allowed humans to take their place at the top of the food chain. With no predators to fear and an abundance of wild game to feed on, man set out from Africa to create what today we call the human race. Conversely, the inability to communicate and a reliance on modern technologies such as mobile phone use and text messaging have reversed the course of development and lie at the root of a social malaise affecting Japanese society.
Crimes including teenage prostitution, murder, and rape have all risen dramatically. Mobile phone use can be directly related to a startling increase in violent crime in Japan. Dating sites where victims arrange to meet their attackers were visited by 37% of males and 20% of females surveyed. Since 2001 victims of these crimes have risen 2.2 times to 1317 cases reported in 2003.
The shocking news of Satomi chan�s tragic death at the hands of her fellow classmate provides a chilling account of the current crisis. This is only one isolated event among a population where 80% of high school students own mobile phones and whose use is generally unrestricted by anyone. A comment made by the victim in an Internet chat room was the motivation cited for this heinous crime according to the 11 year old killer.
Everywhere you go you can see people staring into mobile terminals. Driving, cycling, walking and on public transportation the phone has become an ever present extension of the human hand. Witness the instinctual whipping open of the devices upon boarding. The human processes of thought and introspection have been replaced by the exchange of trivial text messages. Individuals flittingly dial up numbers in search of answers to questions they no longer seem willing or able to answer for themselves. It is this very process of reasoning that sets man apart from other living things and his failure to do so that plays host to moral decay.
It is painful to witness a society that seems to place minimal worth on face-to-face daily communication with family, friends and fellow human beings. The skills that man developed that enabled him to colonize the world are all but ignored today. The exchange of feelings, emotions, experiences and ideas through spoken language is known as oral communication and appears to be headed the way of the dinosaurs. Japanese poet Osada Hiroshi wrote, � Once again, our excesses of affluence and good intentions are killing living things. �

There you have it and in dire need of editing as I am sure my structure is non existent and I have been told it is to big or long for the limited space allotted.

I appreciate any and all comments or criticisms.

[Tonester]

Well I can see your point about a lack of communication thereof can be harmful to a society- in this case Japan but what confuses me is that one minute your esay talks about civilisation and language and next it suddenly brings up crime due to the influence of mobile phones. Then it suddenly twists about Satomi's stabbing in Sasebo then communication in general and the dangers of the absence of it.

Sweetsee, what is your main point and what do you want to talk about? As a reader I am confused and the relevance of your points doesn't seem clear or coherent. If you tell me what you want to talk about and what you actually want to say then perhaps I could help you.

[PAULH]

I just want to make a couple of small observations:

1. -chan is not an English word and never was. Its an affectation used to Japanese to describe children. Why do you use a Japanese word in isolation in an English essay? Its like some people say "gaijin" instead of foreigner.

2. The poets name in Japanese would be Osada Hiroshi (with his family name first). As you are writing in English for an english speaking audience wouldnt you put his personal name firs? this is a cultural issue but calling him Hiroshi sound more natural

3. Not sure what the killing has to do with mobile phones- the girls were talking on the internet and apparently were best friends played together and spoke with each other face to face. The anonymity of email messages devoid of emotion and feeling contributed to these events though, as the killer was upset bt her remarks. Not sure if you can blame or connect this to phone email though

[Sweetsee]

Paul and Tone,

Thank you both. I wrote that in one go and posted it because I wanted you to see what happens when I write.

I will try again. Getting there is the best part, right?



Respectfully yours,
sweetsee

[Tonester]

Sweetsee,

Come back and tell us what you want to say and maybe we can suggest issues for you to present. I had to write recently for my school paper and I chose a really bland topic such as "About studying english" because I got so sick of people asking me "Tony, how can I improve my english ability?" or "Tony, how can I be able to speak to someone in english?" so the gist of my article was simply "Go do an exchange once you've finished high school because you'll be forced to speak english. I did an exchange in Saitama 5 years ago and look; I can speak your language!"

Perhaps was not the best essay but it at least answered one of my biggest FAQs!

[PAULH]

[Sweetsee]

Sorry Tone,

Had to dash out and pick up the little one and realized I hadn't answered your question.

So, I want to say many things.

1. crime and cell phone use are related
2. trading text messaging for human contact face to face is bad
3. everybody thinks oral communication is a joke, a non subject
4. kids are victims of technology and their parents

The worth of the individual is equal to their contribution to humanity.

I still do not know what my main point is, Tonester. Last night I wrote a piece on the cruel and needless death of a lavender plant at school and how there is no connection to nature with most people.

I guess I'd like to say that overdoing it with cell phones and no communion with nature is bad and we are beginning to see the consequences.

So, hug a plant and kiss someone.

Can you help me please, Tonester

Btw, no one ever asks me stuff like that. I have some super students but for the most part, in a class of 30 maybe 4 or 5 are on it.

I have always been of the same mind as you Paul, regarding the use of English as a tool for communication. People think to study because society via the media has told them they have to. People just want to be asleep because they have such little imagination. This state is ingrained in their minds as infants by a society that is bent on an us and them mentality. Its fine to walk to the market and scowl at all. I don't care about anyone or anything but us.

This is by no means limited to Japan. But I would say that if you already have a serious communication deficit, well those parked cars have fallen on top of those cute puppies.

[Tonester]

You certainly have a point, Paul. I find that my students have difficulty expressing themselves in english and have no idea what they want to do with it. Some say that they want to go to America and study but they do not think of the reasons for studying in "America" as as opposed to other english speaking countries. It's just the hollow glamour that my students see in America I guess........

On the other hand Paul, you being from NZ; before you moved to Japan did you ever see a lot of Japanese working holiday people where you were from. I know I did, as an Aussie from the Gold Coast. I found those people to stick only to their own kind, avoid locals due to language barrier, avoid locals who spoke Japanese like the plague (I fell victim to many an incident such as that), and hang around locals who were obviously J-chick-hunting-pretty-boy-jocks who thought they were King S--T.

Yes I still harbour resentment but I had tried to help them get accustomed to Australia and I felt that as a local I should make them feel welcome. Man, did that backfire or what?

What really surprised me was when I told a friend(local Japanese) in Japan about it the reply was "You needn't concern yourself because the calibre of those people is that most of them are either drop-outs from university or high school or just trying to get away from their parents who have tried talking some sense into them."

Note: I live in a very rural area of Niigata Prefecture where the old values still are prevalent.

Tell me Paul, am I just ranting over nothing or have you experienced anything similar?

[Glenski]

[Tonester]

Sweetsee,

Happy to hear from you.

[Sweetsee]

Glen,

How are you?

The deadline is August 2.

My own deadline is friday seeing as how I am determined to make some kind of vacation.

How about my topics? Ah, you know, kids should shape up.