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[kakapo]

"Would you like to know more about me?"
"Yes!"
"O.K. With your neighbour write down three questions you'd like to ask me."

It's first week back at university and this exchange will take place eight times between me and about 50 Chinese 19-year-olds. There are the expected questions such as "Where have you been in China?" and "How tall are you?" but a more unusual one today was "Who do you prefer, Spiderman or James Bond?"

I replied that since I hadn't seen Spiderman I couldn't compare them and asked the questioner who she preferred. She replied without hesitation that she'd have Spiderman as a boyfriend and James Bond as a bodyguard. When I suggested that Spiderman would be rather sticky she countered by saying that was O.K. as she wouldn't want to be parted from him. Clearly she was no arachnophobe.

What interesting questions have your students asked you recently?

[The Great Wall of Whiner]

"Teacher, why you don't have girlfriend? You not ugly so I think you must have girlfriend. Are you gay?"

[Magoo]

"Are you a playboy? I think you have hundreds of girlfriends and dozens of wives!" From a sweet, studious 14 year-old in her 'My Foreign Teacher' composition. And we complain that the Chinese have no imagination Pah!