Job Discussion Forums

[Sez]

I've read a lot about the difficulty westerners have in assimilating themselves into Japanese culture - okay, this is understandable.

But to anyone that has lived or lives in Japan - is it a lonely existence as a westerner in Japan? I am female, British, and Japan will be my first stop in September.
Will there be people who I will have opportunities to make friends with? After reading the posts about the difficulties in sustaining friendships with the Japanese I am worried I will be an outcast for the time I am in Japan! I'm an independant person but I would like to make some friends there!

[Guest]

You're bound to be nervous about going to Japan. It's a big step. Keep in mind that there are a lot of people teaching English in Japan, who are too busy enjoying themselves to even look in on this forum, and would not have anything to vent about even if they did.

You may have read the thread about how it can be difficult to make long term Japanese friends. This is true in many cases, but it's not impossible. Japanese people can be really lovely, they just don't always interact the way we consider to be "normal". Don't let this put you off. Many people have a fantastic time in Japan and stay longer than anticipated. Even the people who post on this forum are still there (a lot of them anyway). Unless you are stuck in the tinest of towns, there will almost definitely be other foreigners in your town. If you are the kind of person who makes friends easily I doubt you have anything to worry about.

You will be seen as different in Japan, but try to think of yourself as a celebrity rather than an outcast.

[homersimpson]

I tend to agree with katy's post. Despite what many have written here (including myself), living in Japan can be a great experience. I'm still here (going on year number 4). But when some of us who write about the cultural differences and frienship-making difficulties, we don't mean to be negative, just truthful. I have some Japanese friends, but you just have to realize things are different here. That's not bad, it's just different. Odds are there will be times you are lonely, just like you are in your own country. I have no official stats to back this up, by my guess is the rate of suicides by foreigners in Japan caused by depression or isloation is farily low. In other words, foreigners who find Japan too daunting/depressing/isolated/etc. simply "go home." If you involve yourself in activities outside your workplace, I'm sure you will meet people and perhaps make some friends. Just don't put pressure on the whole experience. Enjoy your time in Japan (or whatever foreign country you choose) and try to learn about the culture, language, and yourself, in the process.

[Brooks]

I think you can be a celebrity if you are in a rural place but not if you are in a big city such as Tokyo. In Tokyo we can be anonymous. Some people like this, and some don`t.

I think they way some people deal with loneliness or boredom is to keep themselves busy:
Some people work a lot, make money, but then they are more prone to getting sick.
Some people try to do different things like going to Japanese class, working out, or doing something like going to a cooking class.
Some people want to learn something about Japan, like art, martial arts, etc.
My thing is hiking and traveling. It gets expensive riding on the shinkansen, but it puts me in a better mood. I am going to Nara and Kobe for Golden Week. I will hike and go to an onsen.

I have to be at work six days a week. Japan is the most tiring place I have ever been, so I have only so much energy after work.
I only have two friends here. One is my girlfriend.

My goal when I came was to pay off the bulk of my student loans. I have almost met that goal. Although I have a good job, I will move on.

I would recommend Kansai as a place to work - places like Kyoto, Osaka, or Kobe are nicer to be than Tokyo is, in my opinion.

Brooks

[Sez]

Thanks everyone! All of you have given good advice, it's much appreciated!