Job Discussion Forums

[Volodiya]

In my many visits to Turkey, I've been impressed with the kindnesses shown to strangers by ordinary Turkish people, especially when it appears that the stranger is in some kind of distress. (I'm talking about human kindness- uncomplicated by commercial considerations- the kind that really counts.)

For an example, I was walking in the center of Antalya when I stumbled and fell, turning my ankle rather badly. Within seconds of hitting the ground, two men had boosted me to my feet, and two shop attendants rushed out to assist me to a chair in their clothing boutique, where they gave me a drink of Ayran.

While I waited in the shop, my girlfriend went in search of a drug store to see what she could find in the way of first aid treatment for my ankle, which was beginning to swell. The druggist suggested a spray used by athletes to cool an injured area and prevent/reduce swelling- the problem was, she had very little cash with her and the spray cost around ten million lira. Another customer, overhearing what had happened and grasping the difficulty, purchased the spray for her!

Is my experience unique, or not? I've asked several Turkish men what they thought, and they were not surprised and agreed that, no, these reactions were not that unusual for Turkish people. In most places I'm familiar with, people would have held back and not been so quick to become involved.

[Bogazicibaby]

I've come across many similiar incidents in my time here.

The first time I visited Turkey was on a vacation and I got off the boat ferry at the wrong location. A friend was supposed to pick me up but I didn't have a phone card or phone with me. I had also hurt my ankle in getting up from my seat and exiting the ferry boat. A couple saw my distress and asked how they could help me. They called my friend for me and then waited with me because it was getting dark.

I also sprained my ankle (not really the best sidewalks here eh? ) and as I was hopping on one leg, some passing people yelled into the business I was closest too and they brought out a chair and offered me a drink and asked if I needed to call anyone. They were very distressed for me.

I was taking a bus to a city I didn't really know and for some reason, the bus stopped- and I had thought I booked a direct bus. A family took me under their wing and made sure I got the right connections.

I once was given directions to a class and then sent off in the dark and the rain. I of course got lost. When I couldn't contact anyone at the office, I was really upset. The bakal guy actually took me out in the rain, without any umbrella or jacket and walked me all the way to the right location- all the way to the door.

I have had one opposite type experience too. In my same first vacation to Turkey, I didn't quite realize that I should be packing a much smaller bag since I would be hauling it up and down a trillion steps. Oh experience!!
All these people kept passing me in my struggles to get the suitcase up the stairs. Nobody offered to help. I use small bags now!!!

I have had many other times when Turks have helped me. I think that my experience with the too huge bag ( I probably looked like I was handling it) is not the usual situation. People tend to be more helpful than not here.

[ghost]

On ghost's first visit to Turkey (a two week visit as a tourist in 1996), he went to the mining/fishing town (a rare combo) of Zonguldak, on the Black Sea.

Zonguldak is not high on the list of tourist attractions for the average tourist, as it is a somewhat polluted and dirty city, with a rainy climate.

On his first night about the town, ghost walked down to the promenade area where there are many sea food restaurants. The owner of the restaurant was very friendly and remarked that tourists never come to Zonguldak. The owner insisted on footing the bill for ghost's sea food platter.

The generosity continued later. Ghost had settled into his modest "otel" when a knock on the door produced a messenger with a ton of fruit and local sweets, and a message from the restaurant owner that he did not want this foreign guest to "go hungry for the night."

Ghost also met extraordinarily hospitable behaviour in other parts of the country, like Erzurum, Kars, and places far away from most tourist haunts.

Reflecting on these experiences, one may conclude that Turks who have rare exposure to foreigners really like them (foreigners), and go out of their way to treat them (the foreigners) like royalty. Time and time again, foreigners will be surprised at the hospitality and kindness of Turks, especially in more remote parts of the country, and both Yaramaz and our South African friend will back this up, with reference to their year spent in Kayseri, Anatolia.

Flip side of the coin - too much exposure to the foreigners creates a "could not care less attitude" about them....

In Antalya, for example, foreigners are not really given a second glance, and while the behaviour is not hostile, one could not describe it as particularly friendly, either.

So if you want a real good experience in Turkey, go East, East and continue heading East. If you go East and head for the mountainous areas and plateaus, even better....the hospitality there is second to none...in places like Mus. Ghost has found that in Turkey...there tends to be an inverse relationship between warmth of the climate and warmth of the people. In other words....the colder the climate (in places like Erzurum), in general, the warmer the people tend to be.

[Faustino]

Ghost,

are you a heavyweight boxer, or some other kind of sporting personality?

[mrauc941]

I was ill and walking home from school when I threw up in front of a shop. A worker came running out (the second time I threw up). Asked me something...I threw up the third time...he asked again. I told him I didnt understand, he went inside and got me a rag to clean of my boots. He told me to get well and not to worry about the mess.

This might not sound like an act of great kindness, but coming from New York (where they probably would have come out yelling and pushed me on to the next shop) I saw it as quite kind.

[Volodiya]

mrauc941,

Thanks for sharing that with us! I have to admit it made me a little..., to read it; but, it really illustrates the willingness of Turkish men to put themselves forward in situations where other peoples would hesitate to get involved- something that really feels good when you need a little help, or just a touch of humanity.

[corall]

nice stories.

it seems the only thing that i have experienced about turkish men are the rude comments i get while walking down the street. or the stares. or the requests to have sex with them...

but there was one story of a gentleman that helped me get hail a cab home without any kind of rudeness whats so ever - i was shocked

now before people start jumping down my throat, i am not saying that all turkish men are ignorant, simply i am saying that i have not met too many that weren't.

turkish women have been very kind to me though, so i do believe in the kindness of strangers in turkey some of the times.