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boxcarwilly
Joined: 23 Jan 2003 Posts: 85
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:29 am Post subject: Said "Yes" now want to say "No" |
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Somewhat of a moral dilemma. I told a school in China that I would come and work for them as a manager because I had not heard back from the one school where I thought I would be a better fit. I do not have a signed contract, but the paperwork for a "Z" visa has been started. Now the school I wanted to work for has made an offer that I would like accept. I normally won't go back on my word but I suspect many folks wouldn't think twice about walking away from the first offer. I am sure others have been through this; how was it resolved? If you took another offer, what did you say to the first school - good lie or the truth? |
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isanity
Joined: 05 Nov 2004 Posts: 179
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:32 am Post subject: |
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A moral dilemma is when you don't know what is the right thing to do. Wanting to go back on your word doesn't really count.  |
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tradinup
Joined: 13 Nov 2004 Posts: 132 Location: Shenzhen, China
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:41 am Post subject: |
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It's not like you're reneging on marriage vows here, it's just business...
If you haven't signed a contract, then tell School B that School A has come in with a spectacular "eleventh hour" offer, and the ball is now in their court to beat it. If they can't, then tough!
Again it's just business, if Stephen Hawkings heard about said job opening in China and told the school he wanted it then they would drop you like a big sack of rice. |
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Guest
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:43 am Post subject: |
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I always opt for the truth in any given situation. As you have not signed a contract, just explain to them that you feel you will be happier and more suited to the other position.
I am sure this is not the first time they have had someone change his/her mind.
From my experience here in China (which is short) I have noticed that the Chinese people seem very adaptable, because they change classes, schedules, meetings and banquets at the drop of a hat - and re-schedule them.
They are used to doing something with 5 minutes notice, and I am now also used to changes and only getting a few minutes notice for a banquet or something like that. |
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badtyndale

Joined: 23 Jun 2004 Posts: 181 Location: In the tool shed
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 6:49 am Post subject: |
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I thought this post might at least have been vaguely linked to something tantalysingly erotic concerning local bosses, their wives and children, and foreign sexperts.
Offers are as meaningless as your word is in China. Do you really have what it takes to be a 'manager'? If yes, be bold and make your choice and tell the other party. I'd suggest honesty because, if nothing else, such behaviour represents an education in itself to the Chinese. Once in China you can, of course, lie and cheat to your heart's content. |
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Larry Parnell
Joined: 06 Jun 2004 Posts: 172
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:02 am Post subject: |
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tradinup wrote: |
if Stephen Hawkings heard about said job opening in China and told the school he wanted it then they would drop you like a big sack of rice. |
I wouldn't worry too much about Stephen Hawking if you have many 'Oral English' lessons. |
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lagerlout2006

Joined: 17 Sep 2003 Posts: 985
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 8:40 am Post subject: |
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I would not feel guilty about taking job B. When they say the "paperwork has been started" on the visa that is nonsense. It means they can't be tossed to look for someone else.
I was in a similar spot and did the "right" thing choosing job A. I have been a little bitter ever since and bad for both of us...They will find someone. Hell tell em to PM lagerlout06 and I'll take the job.  |
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ChinaEFLteacher

Joined: 08 Sep 2004 Posts: 104 Location: China
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Posted: Fri Dec 03, 2004 9:00 am Post subject: |
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no signed contract means no obligation! they might not be happy with you, but who cares! take the job you want. |
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