Job Discussion Forums

[dmb]

I was sprayed by a skunk.


I tripped over my dog and was knocked unconscious.


My bus broke down and was held up by robbers.


I was arrested as a result of mistaken identity.


I forgot to come back to work after lunch.


I couldn't find my shoes.


I hurt myself bowling.


I was spit on by a venomous snake.


I totaled my wife's jeep in a collision with a cow.


A hitman was looking for me.


My curlers burned my hair and I had to go to the hairdresser.


I eloped.


My brain went to sleep and I couldn't wake it up.


My cat unplugged my alarm clock.


I had to be there for my husband's grand jury trial.


I had to ship my grandmother's bones to India.


I forgot what day of the week it was.


Someone slipped drugs in my drink last night.


A tree fell on my car.


My monkey died.


Any others?

[basiltherat]

from a student in saudi:

March, I think: "Teacher, I go hospital. My father dead."
Teacher, "I'm sorry. OK you're excused."

Sometime in June: "Teacher, I no study today. I go hospital now. My father very sick."

Teacher: : ??????

They cant even get it the right way round.
basil

[Snoopy]

At one place I worked in Saudi, "sleep" was ruled to be a valid excuse for missing an exam.

As for the answer to "Where were you yesterday?", "sleep" was by far the commonest. The Land of Nod, presumably.

[guty]

Teacher, my Grandmother die
I'm sorry, when did it happen?
Just before tomorrow's class, so I no come tomorrow, OK?

[Deconstructor]

[Guy Courchesne]

In Mexico, having la turista (aka Moctezuma's Revenge) is most common. Unfortunately, it's almost always true! cursed street tacos...they taste...so...good, but the damage, man, the damage.

[juststeven]

Mr. Basil.
Isn't it frustrating, after teaching them for an entire semester, that they come to you and say,"Teacher, go bathroom?"

[basiltherat]

somewhat but im not going to lose sleep over it.
cud be worse ... "bathroom ?"
we can only do so much.
regards
basil

[juststeven]

Scottish friend and colleague calls in the morning and says," Steve, I gawt ah wee problem. I cannah come to wurk, me car is too drunk to drive." Of course I covered for him. But, he owed me.

[Deconstructor]

[Boy Wonder]

I cut myself shaving......down below!

Fell over in the shower.

Domestic issues..i.e am having a barney with the missus.

Got on the wrong bus for work.

We've lost the dog.

I've lost my voice.

QPR lost...again...!

I am being stalked by one of my students.

No money for the bus.

My bike's got a puncture.

I am playing tennis with Annabel Croft.

I've joined a religious cult.

I was casting for the lead role in an adult film.

My mum wouldn't let me leave the house till i tidied my room.

It was too cold and I didnt have any gloves.

I was canoeing down the Amazon over the weekend.

Stevie Wonder and George Benson came round for a jamming session.

My wife was having a baby.

I am a tree.

[Deconstructor]

A few more:

I accidentally got married yesterday, am on my honeymoon.

Lost my will to teach, currently looking for it.

Developed a pupil phobia. Currently looking for courage.

I was thinking of a lie not to come to work. It gave me a headache.

I suddenly lost the ability to tell time.

I lost my watch. Didn�t know what time it was.

You might think I'm not at work, but I am. Really!

I am not drunk enough to teach.

I've seen the light! I've found my way!

I'm in the dark. Can't find my way!

[The G-stringed Avenger]

And more....

Your mother wouldn't let me out of the bed

I discovered a new disease and am presently coexisting with it in a secure ward in Biohazard Level 5

I am lost in the Matrix

Have absorbed more Chinglish than the WHO deems safe

Have found a giant plot hole in my life and have fallen through it

I am addicted to iPod

Was trampled in an "Anti-Ocean's 13" riot, further beaten when mistaken for George Clooney. No, make that Brad Pitt.

Have found a fault in the earth's crust and am repairing it

Am taking part in a propaganda exercise - waving an Iraqi flag, jumping up and down and yelling in jubilation in front of some cameras. Cheque is in the mail, apparently

and finally....

Have broken my big toe, and thus the critical cognitive node for imparting information. If you don't believe me, break your own big toe - no, didn't think you would!