Job Discussion Forums

[gerard]

OK this will be free to the fine people on this forum. A lot of people go home with their tail between their legs crying about the staring. Other things yes but staring seems to be the main complaint. (And the bathrooms.)

Gerard get to the point. OK. The point is to fight fire with fire-give em a taste of their own medicine and whatever other cliche comes to mind.

STARE BACK. My latest hobby is to go out and GAWK at people for hours on end. I stand and stare at them until they think I am crazy which they do anyway. Crazy laowai.

[J.D.]

gerard I really appreciate your posts and hope you will accept some friendly advice - get a good nights sleep and maybe things will be brighter tomorrow!

[Roger]

Staring back is even more frustrating. Go a step beyond that:
- Look right beyond them - as if some ogre was coming from the opposite side. see how they turn their heads, then giggle!
- Or whip out a camera and pretend wanting to shoot a picture. This always works wonders! BUt I am too lazy to carry my camera with me all the time.
This is true: I once made 2 men pay for staring at me! Here I was, walking towards 6 men standing idly at an intersection, all six heads swivelling around simultaneously to view the foreign person.
So when I arrived at the group I imperiously announced that I was an itinerant zoological garden and they had to buy tickets!
FOur of the men scampered off, but two actually gave me 5 kuai each!
Not that it has worked ever since, but you can try aznyway...

[hubei_canuk]

Anti-Staring Technique:
It's proven!!
1. Carry a camera.
2. When a group stares at you from a short distance, pretend to take a picture of them.
3. Watch them pretend to be unworried.
4. Watch them walk away within 60 seconds.
--------------------
I don't know why it works but i it does.

[gerard]

jd---thanks for the vote of confidence and yes I do need a night's rest. I will try but with the grief and the phone calls and the jackhammers going off it wont be easy. Did I mention the jackhammers??? (I am so funny) I havent metioned slow computers which is another pain in the butt.

I am watching Platoon 2 at the moment so I must sign off. OH you did'nt know there was a sequel??? Yes Platoon 2 Willem Dafoe comes back from the dead and passes a reefer to Charlie Sheen. And they buy a bottle of Jack and go to the cinema to see X-2. (HAHAHA-Stop it.)

Thanks mate and yes I will try to get some shut eye.

[Seth]

Once I was in a loopy mood, and had had a few beers, and this guy was staring at me in a restaurant. I proceeded to play peek-a-boo with him by ducking under the table or peeking around the expat sitting next to me. Finally the Chinese guy sitting next to him snapped at him, 'Stop looking at the foreigner!'

I find that if you smile, they stop staring. Just staring back usually does nothing. A smile suddenly makes it personal and puts them on the spot. Usually I'm not in the mood to smile at starers, though. When I had a Nigerian colleague the staring was twice as bad. We would literally cause bicycle accidents when walking through town. Now that's entertainment.

[chinasyndrome]

Look around, guys. About 100% of Chinese need glasses. About 30% actually wear them. So to 70%, you're just a blur anyway. Of the remainder, half are wearing the wrong glasses, so you're just a blur anyway. Of the 15% left, 14% are not actually staring at you; they just happen to be 'looking' in your direction while they take a nap with their eyes open. They learn how to do this at school. The 1% left are not actually staring at you; they are staring at the ghost walking in front of you.

Chinese people don't stare because that isn't polite.

But if they did stare...

Make sure you're wearing the latest in SARS t-shirt fashion! There's a SARS Clearance sale near you!

Three great messages, all beautifully translated so your Chinese 'friends' can enjoy the experience as much as you do!

Front: "As a matter of fact, I DO have SARS!"
Rear: "Why are you running away?"

Front: "Yes! You CAN catch SARS from staring at foreigners!"

Front: "Yes, I AM a guilao and yes, I DO have SARS!"

[hubei_canuk]

SARS Crossdressers Party
------------------------------- http://straitstimes.asia1.com.sg/asia/story/0,4386,187932,00.html?


No masks? Try a bra
TAIPEI - Villagers in southern Taiwan are strapping bras to their faces to guard against the Sars virus due to a shortage of masks.

'I went to every pharmacy in the village and it's impossible to find a proper mask,' a man told cable television yesterday, his face partially covered by a dark red cup.

Advertisement

'Somebody came up with this idea so I decided to give it a try,' he said at a village near Tainan city.

A small bra factory is producing the makeshift masks, with workers cutting each of its olourful bras into two and sewing on extra straps to help the desperate villagers. Reuters

[hubei_canuk]

SARS Chinajack SONG
--------------------------------
I'm a Chinajack and I'm OK,
I sleeps all night and I teaches all day.
....
Choir:
He's a Chinajack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he teaches all day.

Chinajack:
I speak ABC'S, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays I go shopping,
and have buttered scones for tea.

Choir:
He speaks ABC'S he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lavatory.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping,
And has buttered scones for tea.

Chinajack:
[In unison with Choir]
I'm a Chinajack and I'm OK,
I sleeps all night and I teaches all day.

Choir:
[In unison with Chinajack]
He's a Chinajack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he teaches all day.

Chinajack:
I speak ABC'S, I skip and jump,
I like to press wild flowers.
I put on women's clothing,
And hang around with SARS.

Choir:
He speaks ABC's, he skips and jumps,
He likes to press wild flowers.
He puts on women's clothing,
And hangs around with SARS?

Chinajack:
[In unison with Choir]
I'm a Chinajack and I'm OK,
I sleeps all night and I teaches all day.

Choir:
[In unison with Chinajack]
He's a Chinajack and he's OK,
He sleeps all night and he teaches all day.

Chinajack:
I speak ABC's, I wear high heels,
Suspenders and a bra.
I wish I'd been a girlie,
Just like my dear papa.

Choir:
He speaks ABC's, he wears high heels,
Suspenders and a bra?
------------------
(thanks to Monty Pyton and John Cleese)

[chinasyndrome]

And thanks to HC! This should become the Foreign National's Anthem!

[chastenosferatu]

I love the itinerant zoological exposition... great stuff.
Here's a couple of my own...
A very effective variation of the camera method is one I learned in the US Army. Take out a pad and pen and begin writing like you are writing down their description. Be very authoritative in your manner. It is even more effective if you have a Chinese friend along to go and ask them their names while you continue writing at a distance. Then (if you have time) follow them at a short but noticeable distance and continue to "take notes". It absolutely wigs them out!

Variation number two. As effective as number one if not more so. Take out a cell phone and "make a call" be sure that they can tell you are talking about them. Nod like you are receiving instructions and "eye" them accordingly. This method is most effective if you tail the subjects for awhile.

Also similar to Seth I found playing peek-a-boo with them like they are little babies is very amusing. You hafta make the cutesy noises and faces for this to really work.