Job Discussion Forums

[naturegirl321]

Anyone have advice on dating the locals? Or warnings? I've been dating this Peruvian for two weeks, seems like a nice guy. Has no desire to go the the USA and is well travelled.
Anyways, I'd like to hear some of your success or horror stories. Eventhough it's a bit off topic.

[Paulie2003]

Only want to say that there appears to be no shortage of 'locos' to choose from...

[Guy Courchesne]

I think it would be impossible to generalize here. Every individual is different. I guess the only thing to worry about is 'the green card effect'...people using you in the hopes of immigration. Again, depends on the person...

[moonraven]

I have only dated locals. Why would you want to live in another country and date folks from where you come from?

[Justin Trullinger]

Mixed experiences here. The green card effect is one worry. Major culture shock is another. I find that attitudes to relationships can be very different from one culture to another...it can be the spice of life. It can also be very stressful.
I agree with Guy that it's hard to generalize, but some things stick out for me. To many latinos, jealousy and possesiveness are the rule, not the exception. And gender roles are often different from what some of us are used to. I have seen women very surprised when I wash the dishes. I also know a woman who was surprised that her (latino) boyfriend expected her to do his laundry. (They had been going out a few weeks.)
You may find that many people also have ideas about fidelity that arent what you grew up with. A lot of people here feel that male cheating is "normal." Okay for them, but I disagree.
I'm not saying it's a bad idea to date the locals- but be ready for the cultural divide to show itself.
By the way, Moonraven. Why do you assume that all "non-locals" are from the same place. My girlfriend isn't Ecuadorian, which here makes her non-local. But we�re from places an ocean apart.

Regards,
Justin

[moonraven]

I make assumptions based on what I see. And one of the things I see is that most of the folks--at least those from the US--who are working here in Latin America don't make any friendships with the local people. They look for other gringos to speak English with, hang out with and criticize the locals with.

If you spend your time looking down on the people here, how is it possible to develop a relationship?

One of the reasons I avoid "gringos" like the plague is because of their very polarizing attitudes....The very fact that someone agonizes over the possibility of dating local people shows that something is very out of balance....

[Guy Courchesne]

The teachers and students in our TEFL course, I find, generally mix well with
'locals'. Many have arrived here in Mexico for having had some exposure to Latino culture back home, including through the church, having bf/gf of Latino background, etc. I certainly hope that no one comes down to Latin America to teach English intent on not mixing with the culture. What would be the point?

I met some of the expat community at the Canadian embassy party awhile ago. People who work through the embassy and had been here about 6 months. Now there were some people who don't mix with the locals...but, they are all Polanco fresas.

[ls650]

[amy1982]

moonraven-

it sounds like you have had some bad luck with gringos! when i went to argentina to study abroad, my #1 goal was to develop real friendships with locals. and it was such a fun experience! not only that, but in our study abroad group of 36, there were only 2 girls that didn't "mix" with the locals - spent their whole semester fraternizing with the us marines but one of them was mexican and the other brazilian, and so they were more excited by the "exotic" northerners than the locals... just a thought.

hmm... my point isn't to contradict what you said. it sounds like you've just been around the more socially and culturally awkward gringos... i've seen plenty of annoying gringos, but i think they are often tourists (and they're on vacation, so....) at least, if you exclude the purely tourist ones, i don't think that so many are so bad. i also met my best friend on that trip, another great gringa with a passion for life.

[moonraven]

The problem with most of the gringos I have encountered here in mexico is that they've been running from something--frequently from themselves. Not the best posture for assimilating in a new culture....

[JZer]

[mikesspamlessemail]

Moon Raven, the self appointed Patron/Matron Saint of Mexico, would not approve of you moving there to meet women. Just curious, why are you going to Indonesia if you're set on Latin America? Trying to save some money first?

[lozwich]

Hey naturegirl,

Coming in on this one a bit late, but just remember, in all nationalities there are nice guys and guys who want something from you, and guys you should stay away from, and all varieties of guys in between.

I'd approach a relationship with a local with the same amount of caution as I would with anyone. Follow your heart, but also keep your eyes open, and don't let anyone step on you.

Good luck!
Lozwich.

[JZer]

Sorry, I made a mistake, so I thought that I would post my message again!!!
I agree. Hey I want to move to Latin America to meet the locals. I love Latino women. In 2004 I was in Peru for a month and met some nice girls. Of course there was one girl that I talked to only once and gave her my email and she keeps on emailing me. It is sort of strange because we only talked once and she keeps on emailing me saying that she loves me. Hmmm looking for a Green Card I guess!!!

[amy1982]

jzer-

lol... some people might call that a "freudian slip" (money instead of girls) you know, you can edit or even delete your previous post. (although the slipup is funny...)