Job Discussion Forums

[writpetition]

Sir,
With reference to your post inviting applications for a teaching position, your offer is too good for me to resist.
In fact, I think, I will be happy to work for a little less if you will agree to turn a blind eye to my passport. See, the problem is that I am really an American and a little British, too....but unfortunately, my mother forgot to go to America when they were issuing passports. Some other people were faster and got there before my Mom could and then they almost stopped giving out those beautiful passports. Later, she could have tried for a Canadian or an Australian/New Zealand one but I was growing up and she thought traversing such a distance would be a very difficult task with a heavy baby in her arms. Moreover, she had another baby inside, so she thought instead, of spending all that time and effort on providing me with an education that she believed would be more useful than just the pages of a passport and she stayed on.
I do have a bachelor's dregree and some teaching experience in China, too. Unfortunately, most universities/schools have turned down my application on another plea viz. the colour of my skin.
I took up the matter with my Mom and asked her why she did not make me white and she said that people around her were not so white so she thought it wouldn't matter that my colour was tan and not white. I pleaded with her to put me back inside her and tinker with my skin and then turn me out all shining and white. She looked up toward the skies, a tired, exasperated expression clouding her face.. �No, I can�t�you�re too big,� she said, �you�re past 46 now and you should know better��
Yes, I admit I am 46 but what can I do if the colour of my skin is not white? I would love to bleach it like Mr. Jackson but I lack the resources he commands. I can dance a little, but my sons turn away when they see me dancing (please don�t ask me if they�re white and what passports they have) and when I sing, a chorus of asses joins in and people say we make a wonderful choir but my teenage sons look disgustedly at me and that, I think, means something! I even invested in a CD and when I went to a recording company they were kind and said if I continued trying hard, very hard, over a few generations I might be able to sell a few hundred copies. But, Sir, that will take a long time and I cannot change the colour of my skin until then. So, please, will you consider me for a position despite these obvious �lackings�?
Yours, in truth,
I remain,
An Eager Applicant

PS: I am consulting with my lawyers to haul my Mom before the courts to sue her and claim damages for giving me a dirty tan colour when she could easily have made me white (I have a sworn and notarized affidavit from my father, saying the colour of the sperm he impregnated her with was white).

[tradinup]

I don't know, I know a Chinese non-native speaking couple that make more money than I do here. They hold classes of like 10 students in their apartment. They are just good at marketing themselves and finding students. I assume you know mandarin, generally white people don't - use it to your advantage.

[writpetition]

Thanks, Tradinup, for the advice.
Unfortunately, I don't know enough Mandarin and as a foreigner in China I would need to have my papers in order.
Until then, I have the venerable old Khayyam for company.
"Life's a checkerboard of nights and days
Where destiny with men for pieces plays
Hither and thither moves and mates and slays
And one one, back in the closet layes."
Tamam Shudh

[writpetition]

"And, if the wine you drink, the lip you press
End in the nothing all things end in, yes;
Then, fancy while thou art, thou art but what thou shalt be -
Nothing; Thou shalt not be less." -
Khayyam

But, the wine I drink, the lip I press
Continue to exist while I do, yes;
I fancy the world is good and all is right -
But, it's all mere fancy, Lord, for I'm not white."
Yours Truly

[Jolly]

[writpetition]

Simply put, it says, 'Please don't deny me the job just because of my skin-colour and passport.'

[writpetition]

It's been three weeks since I wrote my letter of application (see OP)...but there's still no offer.

My grandfather is dying
My heart is crying
There's still no job
Despite my trying.

Some schools do degrees fake
Others their teachers take
From adventurers who don't wish to teach
And treat their jobs like a piece of cake.

But I have a degree from university
And am willing to teach in any city
But my passport's wrong and colour's tan
So I must face a teaching ban.

I have taught for many years,
Removed my students' English fears
Given them confidence, dried their tears
Now my cheeks are streaked with falling tears.

Language's a skill anyone can learn
An ability that work can earn
And teaching requires some special skills
That sometimes inspires, sometimes thrills.

Please give me the job you hold from me
I'll teach very well, you will see
My students will love the language and in their glee
Won't end up asking 'to be or not to be."