Job Discussion Forums

[khmerhit]

[ilunga]

Oh those poor Irish. Let's have a few blonde jokes instead.


Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?

A blonde tried to shoot herself


Why did the blonde throw bread down the toilet?

To feed the toilet duck


Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to London?

She found out Big Ben was only a clock

[latefordinner]

OK, my Canadian Blonde joke.

Three blondes died and found themselves standing before St.Peter. One was a Canadian, one an American, and one a Briton.
He told them that before they could enter the Kingdom, they had to tell him what Easter represented.
The American blonde said, "Easter is a holiday where they have a big feast and we give thanks and eat turkey."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The British blonde said, "Easter is when we celebrate Jesus' birth and exchange gifts."
St. Peter said, "Noooooo," and he banished her to Hell.
The Canadian blonde said she knew what Easter was, and St.Peter said, "So, tell me."
She said, "Easter is a Christian holiday that coincides with the Jewish
festival of Passover. Jesus was having Passover feast with His disciples
when He was betrayed by Judas, and the Romans arrested Him. The Romans hung Him on the cross and eventually He died. Then they buried Him in a tomb behind a very large boulder ... "
St. Peter said, "Verrrrrry good."
Then the blonde continued, "Now, every year they roll away the boulder and Jesus comes out. If he sees his shadow, we have six more weeks of hockey."

[denise]

What did the blonde say when asked if she was sexually active?




"No, I usually just lay there."


d

[Gordon]

What do flight attendants and jet engines have in common?

Jet engines stop whining at the gate.



That's from my wife who was a flight attendant.

[Aramas]

How many blondes does it take to change a light globe?

Just one. She holds up the globe and waits for the world to revolve around her.

[grahamb]

For those who haven't heard it yet:
Why are Irish jokes so stupid? So the English can understand them.
Enough said.

[Sara Avalon]

Thanks khmerhit!

I read the jokes to my mom and she loved them!

[shmooj]

[Sara Avalon]

[latefordinner]

Shmooj:
MODERATOR - can we get this thread banned???? It is incredibly offensive to the Irish, blondes and Canadians

Hey, I resemble that remark! I guess if I didn't have yellow hair I'd be offended or something

[Ben Round de Bloc]

[lajzar]

A blond os wandering along a river, trying to find a way to cross. She sees another blond on the other side. "How do I get to the other side?" she asks. "You are on the other side, silly."

[Guest]

Why do blondes wear Pink Lipstick - because Red means stop.

What do you call a blonde with two brain cells - Pregnant.

What is the difference between a blonde and a shopping trolley? - a shopping trolley has a mind of its own.

Why do brides wear white? - so they match the other kitchen appliances

What does WIFE stand for - washing, ironing, fxxxing etc.

Why did the Irishman wear two condoms - to be sure, to be sure.

The Irishman walked into the Chemist and said - "I'll have 100 condoms Miss" - the shop attendant said "don't you Miss me" and so the Irishman said "Okay I'll have 101".

You can kiss a Nun once, you can kiss a Nun twice, but don't get into the habit!

Do not start me off, I can go on for hours - telling jokes that is!

[James_T_Kirk]

I have really enjoyed all of the jokes posted on this thread...only fair that I share a few favorites of my own:

WARNING: SOME INDIVIDUALS MIGHT FIND ONE OR MORE OF THE FOLLOWING JOKES OFFENSIVE...YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ THEM!!!

A man dies and goes to hell. He's bumming around when a demon comes up and asks him why the long face? "Well, you know, I just died and I'm in hell, so its going to be bad." The demon says, "Naw man, you got it all wrong! Hell ain't so bad! Tell ya what, you like smoking?" Yeah, the guy replies. As a matter of fact, its part of the reason why I'm down here.

"Great!" the Demon says, "Because every Monday, all we do is smoke. Cigarettes, cigars, pipes, all kinds of tobacco. All day! And it doesn't matter, because you're already dead!" Well, I guess that's good, but you know, its still hell, and it just isn't great all the time. "Well" the demon retorts, "you like drinking?" The guy nods, yeah, its part of the reason why I'm down here.

"Fabulous! Because every Tuesday, all we do is drink! Beer, wine, mixed drinks, coctails, shots, we do it all! Anything you want, all day, and it doesn't matter because you're already dead!" Hm, the guy thinks, this might not be so bad...

"Tell ya what...you like drugs?" Well, yeah, the guy says, that's why I'm down here... I overdosed on some drugs.

"Good! Because on Wednesdays, all we do here is drugs! Anything you want: pot, X, acid, cocaine, crack, heroin... all day! And it doesn't matter cuz you're already dead!" The guy is thinking, wow, this is starting to sound really good! Hell might not be such a bad place after all! Then the demon asks, "So, do you like men?"

No.

"Well, you're gonna hate Thursdays then...."




There were three country churches in a small Texas town: the Presbyterian church, the Methodist church and the Catholic church. Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels.

One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels. After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations. So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution. They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.




Two condoms are walking by a gay bar. One of them looks at the other and says, "Hey, you want to go in and get s.h.i.t-faced?"