Job Discussion Forums

[Horizontal Hero]

I worked in the mainland for a few years before re-locating here as a NET teacher. My Chinese fiance is here with me, which is the big issue. She is basically freaked out by HK - the language, the crowded public places, the MTR, just about anything you can name she complains about it. It has become a serious problem. She basically will not leave the apartment, and just spends all her time on the internet or reading/sleeping in till 12.00 midday each day. She cannot work here, and as far as I am aware when we marry she will also not be able to work here. What hope is there? Anybody else have any experience with mainland girls in HK? My fiance is from Beijing, and is an English major, 30 years old, had her own business, so is not a country girl by any means.

After seven months in the NET scheme I can understand some of the complaints of NET teachers in HK. Financial problems are considerable for a NET teacher with a non-working spouse, esp. since I am not too far up the pay scale. What with repaying loans to the schoo, uni fees, spouse visas (has to ruturn to BJ to get 'em evry 3 months), high rents etc. there is very little left at the beginning of the month, let alone the end. And it hasn't exactly been a party socially - meeting people has proved a real problem.

I had high hopes for HK, but it seems financially that it is a disaster zone, and with the girl freaking out, I may have to pull up stumps at the end of the first year. Too bad, as there are many things I like about HK, and would really like to stay here longer if I could.

Anybody else have similar experiences?

[Zero Hero]

Sorry to hear of your problems.

Yes, the Cantonese language will be a huge problem for someone from Beijing. However, can she not simply use English (or do you communicate together in Mandarin)? Also, remember that it is same for Filipinos and the Nepalese: they simply have to learn.

Yes, if you are not too high up the EMB pay scale then, unless you are single, it will be quite tough. In fact, to be quite honest, I think it a little na�ve to come to HK as a couple with only one source of income in the bag. Unless you have the qualifications and experience to really make the NET scheme work for you, you will not be able to keep a tai tai.

You write that you are aware that when you marry your wife she will not be able to work here. This is not quite right. She will have no automatic right to work here. They will certainly reserve the right to deny her work, but they may also permit her to work at a later date (though, granted, it is a slim chance).

If she can brave the public transport of Beijing then I really do not see what the problem with the MTR in HK could be. Is it the sheer levels of organisation that worry her? I have seen Mainlanders become nervous before when they see people not pushing. It must take a lot of getting use to.

I hope things improve for you and your partner.

[kowlooner]

Sorry to hear this HH. But I don't really understand how your fiance could be that freaked out by HK. Besides the language, it can't be that big of a change in terms of the problem factors (crowded public places, MTR, etc). I lived in BJ about 17 years ago, stayed for 4 years, and though there were clearly differences between HK and BJ back then, crowding and pushing were some of the refreshingly common factors! And considering how much BJ has grown in the past decade, wouldn't the differences between the two cities have shrunk since then?

Anyway, it sounds like she's probably just really homesick, and perhaps her reaction would be the same most anywhere else. But the biggest problem I would think is her staying to herself the whole time. That would just intensify her depression.

Even if she can't work legally, she should still be able to do some sort of volunteer work. Or enroll her in a Cantonese course since she's having problems with the language. Or give her a camera and let her wander around HK and learn about the place from that angle. Basically, she needs to get out of the house and start experiencing the place. She needs to do something. Her situation otherwise isn't that much different from many expats who land here and can only think of home.

[Zero Hero]

I agree with the above poster, but just have one correction to make. The comment regarding volunteer work is a red herring. In HK, somewhat ironically perhaps, a work visa is required for volunteer work. No work - whether paid or not - can be performed by non-residents without the full consent and knowledge of the immigration department.

[Susie]

One needs to be prepared to be on a steep learning curve to live in HK.

[ChrisRose]

Well comprimise a little.

Move somewhere greener, perhaps the N.T., quite a lot of new migrants there.

Offically she isn't allowed to study unless she applies for a student visa.

However she can join clubs and socities.

Try to find out what she likes , so she can go out and socialise. Some activities which give an introduction to thehistory and culture of H.K. might be a good start.

The history of H.K. musuem is a great startign point, perhaps followed by some tours to the outlying islands.

[once again]

[Horizontal Hero]

Thanks for all that, and all of it very helpful. Like Kowlooner, I can't understand what the big difference is between Beijing and HK, except that I hated Beijing in the end, and couldn't live there if you paid me a million bucks. Actually we live near Shatin, but often my partner refuses to travel even a couple of minutes by bus/MTR to get there. We used to travel 30 minutes to get into central Beijing by taxi (one hour on a stinky, crowded, dirty bus with bricks for suspension), and she never complained.

It's a pretty bad case of culture shock. But I am glad Susie says she doesn't like HK, because every other person (esp. women) say they like HK, and it really annoys me that my fiance absolutely hates it. In fact the truth is she never gave it a chance. When we got off the KCR from Lo Wu, she got outside the station, stamped her foot on the ground (in typical mainland bioadze style) and yelled: "What kind of poor place is this!?" It just went downhill from there.

Yes, she can communicate very well in English, being an English major (although that is no guarantee of English fluency, as anyone who's taught in the mainland will know!). And Chris Rose, I have tried to encourage her to look for a club or other mainalnders, but she refuses to take any responsibility for finding the necessary info. She also points out, quite rightly, that at present we can't even afford to eat in a restaurant, let alone get her doing courses of study (my PhD fees just went up, and I have had to delay this month's payment of fees - may even have to withdraw if they don't let me pay a bit late).

And yes Zero Hero, I was naive about coming here on this pay - but it did look good on paper, and more than I'd get back home, and about four times as much as I was getting in the mainland. As my fiance says: "We are like poor people here." The annoying thing is I'm doing twice as much work, and the pay is effectively no better, maybe worse. Worse still, in a year or so I will finish my PhD, and I will not be paid a single cent more for all the sweat and sacrifice it has taken to get it. Excuse me for being rather pissed off about that one.

On the positive side my school is better than many, and I have a good panel chair. But I find it very, very dull teaching. Lots of restrictions, like about 50 pages of text book material to get through in a month in order to prepare for that vitally important next test. Almost too dull to endure actually. And very repetitive.

We have decided now that she will go back to work in the mainland, both for her sanity (and mine), and for financial reasons. There is no other choice really.

[once again]

HH, by my caculations, you should be on around $30,000 HK a month (salary and housing allowance). As you are in HK, then you will know that that puts you in the top 25% of household incomes. Obviously, 75% of the people here live meaningful lives on less. (ok, no guarantee of the percentage, but you should get my drift LOL). I suspect that your girlfriend is just not happy here in HK because she has no social network.

She can of course apply for jobs in her own right and be sponsored by the company that employs her. One guess is that she is suffering some sort of anxiety condition because of spending so much time alone in a place she is unfamilliar with. This is in no way to belittle what she is feeling or the importance of her emotions. I have felt the same in HK, and other countries, and it takes a social network to give you confidence.

But surely she doesn't think that she is the only Beijinger in HK! It is not like she is stuck on a sheep farm in the outback. That leads me to think that she may just not want to be here in the first place.

That probably doesn't help too much either...sorry.

[Horizontal Hero]

That's about right Once again (earning more actually - that includes the housing allowance of course, but I'm earning a lot less than that if you don't include the housing allowance), but I am still paying $$$$ a month back to my school (finishes this month), and I have uni fees, and the costs of my partner having to fly to Beijing and apply for visas, supposedly every three months, but Chinese new year comlicated that - it takes about two weeks to get the visa - plane tickets, hotel costs, visa costs. All up, just not enough cash to go round. That's why she's heading back to BJ, although it will get better now my loan to the school is paid off.

[Zero Hero]

It is funny as Maya Angelo was mentioned on another thread and she often notes in interviews that a former mentor of hers always stressed that there is a lot to be learned about someone from the way they react to, among other things, the advent of a simple, harmless, rainy day. I would certainly agree with this, and would add that I believe a lot can also be learned about someone from the way they react to cities such as HK.

[Zero Hero]

'H.H.', as the old adage goes, if you're going through hell it surely makes sense to keep going. Besides, there is something positive to be gained from this. After all, at least you can be pretty sure your other half is not using you to get out of the mainland.

[Horizontal Hero]

[Horizontal Hero]

By the way, there are too many heroes around here. This place just isn't big enough for both of us.

[AndyinHK]

HH If I were you I think I would go to the immigration dept's website. I think the rules are different for mainlanders in order for them to work here even if they are married to a person from another country.

If she could get a work permit then perhaps she would like to teach Mandarin somewhere. Perhaps she would be happier if she could get out and work somewhere.

Good luck