Job Discussion Forums

[roostasha]

Tears in the classroom today. No, I'm not beating up my students, but occasionally, they beat eachother up during the break. Ok, that's a bit of an exaggeration, but there have been a few instances where pushing and shoving got a little out of control and the result has been tears. I teach younger kids, so I know this comes with the territory, the problem is how it has been dealt with.

My Chinese is not nearly advanced enough to get the story from the students, nor is their English at a level that would allow them to tell me what happened. This means I usually have to pass the student(s) off to my Chinese co-workers to get the tears to stop.

I've worked with children from 3 up through teenagers for a while now, and I know there are a number of ways to deal with behavioural problems, but for me, these all end in an apology and a handshake between the individuals involved. I have never seen this in China. Once the crying student is calmed down, it's back to class and business as usual without even so much as a stern word to the instigator.

So what I'm wondering, is this common practice in China or simply more evidence of the incompetence of my co-workers? If this is just the way things are dealt with here, part of the whole face thing, then I can live with that, but if not, well, I thought I'd ask before I make a few suggestions to my rather inexperienced colleagues on how this sort of thing SHOULD be dealt with.

Has anyone else encountered this kind of thing?

[Roger]

Yes, I have encountered this, and I don't feel proud of my performance there. Why? I could do nothing!
The students hailed from extremely wealthy families, the school was a boarding school that claimed to be catering to the national elite...

I had the impression my Chinese colleagues were equally inept at handling the disruptive students, and when I consulted with them they listened me out some 3 times; from the fourth time on I was left to my own devices.

Some of the students started fighting during ongoing lessons; there were 50 14-year olds packed into a room fit for 25. Chairs were sent flying on occasion, noses bled and tears streamed down boys' cheeks...

Punishment was taboo! Reporting on them to their parents was impossible.

[gregoryfromcali]

[Newbs]

Roostasha, from what you say you are in a similar sort of situation to my own, re types of kids that you teach, problems faced, and methods for dealing with them.

The school I'm in seems to be fairly proactive, as Chinese ones go, in terms of pastoral care and dealing with behaviour issues. I have a co-worker who works out the big problems for me, but there haven't been too many of them.

But to get to the point. In my experience when the students says "Sorry." it sounds, to my ears, as being really insincere, they're just going through the motions. However, when they offer a written apology, I can tell that some thought has gone into it, and some counselling has taken place. I accept those notes as graciously as I can, and I reply to them.

Hope this is of some assistance.

[roostasha]

Thanks for the responses guys. I'm glad it's not just me!

Earlier in the year I did make an attempt at dealing with this sort of thing on my own between two students in my most advanced class (though their ability is still pretty limited). After a 30 minute stand off, heads down on desks, two 10 year olds crying, the headmaster stepped in, spoke to them in Chinese, I got half hearted sorries out of the two of them, and they were allowed to go home. Obviously, they were just saying it so they could leave.

Newbs, I like the written apology approach, definitely good for slightly more capable students. Unfortunately for me, only one of my classes might be able to handle that, the rest are still mastering the alphabet!

And like you said Roger, I"m at a private school. The students don't board here, it's just a private language school they pay the big bucks for to come after they finish their regular schools. Most of the parents call the kids on their cell phones while they wait in their cars on the street for pick up.

Thanks again,
roo

[Newbs]

Opps, me bad, didn't explain it thoroughly enough.

The written apology has come from the student, after some "self criticism" with the Chinese teacher. I'm not a party to that and that's quite all right.

The apology is in English, but I reckon if it was in Chinese that would be okay. I reply in English, with any words they might not know translated into Chinese. It's sort of an apology and a learning experience, for us both, at the same time.

[beck's]

I had a similar experience when I taught kindergarten and primary classes in Korea. At break time, the boys would fight each other. Sometimes these fights resulted in tears and, like you, I would send the kids to a Korean teacher for comfort. I asked a Korean collegue about this constant fighting and she told me that it was no problem because Korea is a country at war and the boys need to be tough. What an amazing cultural difference!

[rickinbeijing]

I like the written apology approach. If they can't write it in English, fine, have them write it in Chinese with the understanding that a Chinese colleague will indeed read it to see if they apologized or told me or the other kid to go jump in the lake.

Beck's,

Thanks for reminding me of one of the reasons why I fled my first and only Korean school. That same sickening chauvenistic attitude. Indeed I found that nearly all the Korean men in the school were far more macho-acting than anything I encountered later in Japan or China.

[roostasha]

Ahh, well that makes much more sense. Good plan, I'll give it a try next time.