Job Discussion Forums

[Louie525]

This could absolutely be a function of the late hour, and listening to Nick Drake, and chain smoking--BUT, I was wondering if anyone else on the forum has felt this way, at any time during their Japan experience:
I've only been here since May, and in many ways Japan (especially Tokyo where I live) has been great. There is always so much to see and do, etc. However, lately, I have been feeling like a complete English *beep* (to use a not PC way of putting it, I guess). I understand that my job is to teach English, and I have no problem with that. I just feel as if every new Japanese friend I meet, and I seem to meet people a lot at different events, art gallery shows and the like, is first and foremost interested in being my friend so that they can practice their English. In many ways, I don't really blame these people. It's just that, I guess I'm used to people wanting to be my friend for some reason other than being language practice, or being a novelty item, and all that. Anyone else ever feel this way??

[Celeste]

WHen I first lived abroad I felt that way. I have actually made good friends in Japan. Friends that were always there for me in a pinch and who I would help in any way I can. It was never really about language with these people. With one of my close friends, we met because her husband worked with my husband. Another one was a student of mine in Canada a few years ago. Another was a girl that DJed at a local night club that a friend of mine owned. Yet another was a guy who played guitar in the band of a co-worker. I also have a few good friends who are dancers( not THAT kind!) and a few people who became friends because I taught singing while I was in Japan. I met and became friends with most of these people because we share a love of the arts. I think that at first it is hard because until your Japanese gets to a good conversant stage (2-3 years depending on how much time you allot to it and on how gifted you are at language learning) you will only be able to communicate with people in ENglish. If their ENglish is of a fairly low level, you may end up teaching them a lot. All that said, I have encountered the language leeches before, and they are not pleasant. I have also had people who started off as private English students and slowly became more than that. I think that you need to enjoy people for who/what they are and see how your relationship changes over time. If you are receiving NOTHING from a relationship with someone,(no good feelings, no favours, no business connections, no fun, no money, etc.) you might consider not returning their calls.

[Brooks]

yeah, I can understand. It used to be that way for me, for about the first 14 months or so in Kanagawa. I got tired of the language leeches who were too cheap to pay me to teach them, and also not competent at teaching me Japanese.

Learning Japanese does help. But I do think it is hard to make friends and meet people in Tokyo, so that is one reason I am thinking of moving on and moving to a different part of Japan.

But the thing is, Japanese people who move to Tokyo from other parts of Japan can also have a hard time making friends.
Everything is centered on work. If you have good co-workers, you can go out with them. But if you work with a bunch of assclowns, well then you probably would prefer not to spend time with them after hours.

The other thing that is hard, is that Tokyo is a transient place. You can have good friends, or meet cool people at a party, but then they leave Japan, and you can`t meet them anymore. So it seems you always are meeting new people when you socialize.