Job Discussion Forums

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

hello all. I'm new to the board, and need a little help. For the longest time, I've wanted to go teach English in Japan. I have my TESOL certificate, and I've graduated college.
The problem is The Boyfriend.
He and I are super-serious, and I can't bear to leave him. I've asked him if he'd come with me. He hasn't said no, but he wonders what he'd do with himself over there. He's super-shy, so teaching is out.
Have any of you had to deal with this? What can I do? I want to go to Japan sooooooo badly, but I love The Boyfriend so much. Help us please!

go_ABs · Joined: 08 Aug 2004 Posts: 507

Well, some "super-serious" people succeed with long-distance relationships.

Other than that, I'm sorry: you'll have to sort that out between yourselves.

Remember that relationships are an exercise in compromise, and some people put their dreams on the shelf indefinitely to be with their loved-one. But also, successful partners help you reach your dreams, go for your goals, all that jazz. If you really really really want to go and he doesn't support you, then he's not the man for you.

People older than me say stuff like: don't put off your dreams for a lover. In twenty years if you're not married to him, chances are you'll regret not leaving him earlier and chasing your dreams.

Here ends my cliched advice. I'm not sure I'm the right person anyway Embarassed

I've just broken up with my gf Crying or Very sad

Anyway: this is something you'll have to decide for yourself. Sorry.

Sekhmet · Joined: 05 Apr 2004 Posts: 329 Location: Alexandria, Egypt

St. Mongo,
I know exactly where you're coming from with this - I've been with The Boyfriend for about a year and a half, and for a year of that, we've been living 2000 miles apart. However, we love each other, and we're still strong. Of course, we knew each other for about 7 years before we finally got together (I don't want to sound like a complete looney!!)
Some people can handle long-distance relationships. Some can't. It's just something you guys have to decide yourselves.
Best of luck,
Sekhmet

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

St. Mongo,
You have a degree. How about him? Being shy is one thing, but what would he actually do over here? Most visas require a bachelor's degree. Don't know if he qualifies for a working holiday visa (no degree needed).

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

crap! I just wrote a huge long reply and lost it. *sigh* Let's try again.

I talked to The Boyfriend about this again the other night. He said that he's still thinking about it, but if I decided to go without him, he would wait for me. Faithfully. I know it sounds stupid, but that makes it even harder to leave him. He's so good, I don't know if I could bear to be without him for a whole year.

He's attended university, but no, he doesn't have a degree. Keep in mind, neither do I. I have a college diploma. I don't know if that makes a difference to any potential employer in Japan, but I just want to be really clear. We're both Canadian though, so we should be eligable for working visas. Some out you out there are in Japan...what are the chances of him getting a job other than teaching out there? One-on-one tutoring he could probably handle, but a room full of kids? I doubt it and so does he. He's actually a stunningly intelligent person, but just no good with groups.

I don't know. Maybe I should just get tough with him. Tell him to get over himself and show up one day and say, "Okay, here's two tickets to Japan. We leave in a week. Better get packing."

What do you think? Too pushy?
Wink

go_ABs · Joined: 08 Aug 2004 Posts: 507

Um, I was under the impression you'd need a full undergraduate degree at the very least to get working visas in Japan...

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

nope. According to all my research, just being Canadian qualifies you for a working holiday visa. As far as I understand, having your college diploma and your TESOL helps a lot, but isn't absolute to getting a teaching gig.

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

here are a few websites I found that explain the working holiday visa:

http://www.ca.emb-japan.go.jp/2004/VisaTravel/WHV.html

http://www.anyworkanywhere.com/visasjapan.html

Henry_Cowell · Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 3352 Location: Berkeley

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

I don't understand how I'm making it "impossible" for people to help me. I'm happy to answer your questions. All you had to do was ask.

As I said, he attended university, but he DOES NOT have a diploma. (He never finished...long story) As far as what he likes to do, he likes outdoors, camping, canoeing, music (he plays guitar) and reading. Right now he's the manager of a video store. He's skilled in all the areas I mentioned above as well as cooking, sales, computers, writing, carpentry, electronics and buiness.
Ultimately, he would like to do something that has to do with the outdoors/canoeing, but realisticly, he would like to be involved in distribution sales/management.

Any other questions?

Henry_Cowell · Joined: 27 May 2005 Posts: 3352 Location: Berkeley

Does he need to earn money in Japan? Can you both live off your salary? If he's independently wealthy, he can soak up nature and the outdoors. That should keep him entertained, especially if he uses his writing and computer skills to start a photo blog or travel blog about his life in Japan.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

Your 3-year diploma will usually qualify you for a full work visa. Depends on the immigration officer. Just don't say "diploma", say degree when you apply.

As for your boyfriend, if you know the limits of the working holiday visa, you know that he cannot do bar work, so practically anything else is an option PROVIDING that the employer thinks he is qualified. Some still want the degree. Some don't care, but they may often want high fluency in Japanese, especially when dealing with the public. I'm sure you and he understand the logic in that.

Personally, I think he stands very little chance of getting much of a job on the WHV other than teaching. Perhaps a foreigner who has an opening in some other line of work would be willing to take him on. There are one or two canoeing/trekking outfitters in Japan that I have heard of. See what you can find on www.outdoorjapan.com .

As for teaching, not all jobs require that you teach "a room full of kids". In fact, when teaching English, smaller groups are better, and conversation schools usually have 4-6 people in a class.

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

St. Mongo · Joined: 20 Jul 2005 Posts: 23 Location: Canada

moonraven · Joined: 24 Mar 2004 Posts: 3094

Here's some advice from someone 3 times your age:

Forget being super-serious. A relationship needs to be FUN. If it is not, it's a losing proposition. And super-shy boyfriends are not worth the time of day--super-shy translates to super-egocentric.

MOD EDIT

Moonraven, I think you need to develop some sensitivity and people skills. She likes the guy. What business is it of yours?

Mod.