Job Discussion Forums

[gyoliver]

Hi. I'm a 28yo American guy, gay, who'll be going to China to take TEFL/CELTA and Mandarin courses. I'm wondering if anybody has any suggestions on how to find gay-friendly living accomodations.

I'd like to live in amongst fluent Mandarin speakers, but my impression is that homosexuality is not a subject talked about openly amongst most Chinese. However, I find I'm a much happier person if I can be open about my sexuality. Anyone happen to know of any gay-friendly homestays? Are there more gay-friendly neighborhoods?

Also, will I need to go through the educational institution to find accomodations, or is that something I'll be able to find on my own?

Hope to hear from someone!

George

[Bryanpass]

While living in an open and liberal country like Canada or the US, one tends to take tolerance and accpetance for granted.

While there are indeed gay people in China, you'll have to understand that in order to live and function in a foreign culture, a certain amount of adjusting to local culture and customs must be adhered to. THat includes, unfortunatley, a level of intolerance of homosexuality.

If you want to teach abroad, you'll have to deal with the intolerance of the local culture. That means that, yes, you probably won't be able to be as forthcoming about your sexuality as much as you want to.

Expecting the rest of the world to be as tolerant as your local neighbourhood is to your sexual preference is, unfortunatley, naiive and unrealistic.

Just as expecting a female and/or jewish teacher working in Saudi Arabia or other muslim-fundamentalist country to be accepted or respected, one of the hazards of the profession is tolerating the local culture.

Unfortunatley, it's an occupational hazard. Being opening gay would probably limit your opportunities finding work and/or fitting in to wherever you want to work.

[gyoliver]

Yeah, I think it's important to accept things that one has little power to change. At the same time I think there are ways to position oneself so that one is happier. I wouldn't expect that I could come out in all arenas of my life. But if I had a home base where that were possible, I think my experience would be improved. And, if I stayed in a homestay, this would improve my chances of speaking Chinese regularly. I tend to shy away from people a bit if I can't really tell them what's on my mind or what my experiences have actually been.

But, good reminder about accepting the foreign culture for what it is. If one didn't, it'd likely make things more stressful and less productive.

[Henry_Cowell]

[been_there]

There is a large gay underground in big cities like Shanghai and Beijing. Fairly open about it. This does not extend to apartment buildings, but if you are bringing your boyfriend back to your place, it would not be remarked upon in the same way that it would be if you were bringing a girl back as long as you are not openly gay. Homosexuality is thought of as wrong, and, like many other things that are considered wrong, is done quite often behind closed doors.

Here is my suggestion: dress and act straight around your employers and neighbors. Find that gay community and do as you like, but keep it under wraps (home stay would be out of the question). As long as its not discussed, you should be able to do pretty much as you please.

[merlin]

Just a semi-funny story. Not in China but I'm sure the same holds true there so it's easy to transfer it over.

The locals in the village here are all gossiping about the newest addition to the village - A young man and his older friend. Seems the young man just broke up with his steady girlfriend about a year ago. The older man was never married - he's over 50. Neither is in a relationship with a woman now.

Their house is meticulously clean - and quite pretty, too. Nice flowers and taseful decorations.

So while the whole village is gossiping about them at the same time everyone knows they're really nice people and good neighbors and do all the things good neighbors should do (wash the windows, cut the grass, etc)

The semi-funny part is my wife told me about them and asked me, "Do you think they're gay?"
I had to laugh "How should I know!?! I've never met them."

What was she thinking?

Anyhow, the moral of the story is that although it is less openly accepted you might find that they are perhaps a bit more accepting than people in countries who SAY they accept it but in fact don't.

Something to ponder.

[mlomker]

I think a homestay would be tough. One interesting thing about asian people is that they ask a lot of questions that Americans would consider personal. They will be endlessly mystified as to why someone your age (I'm 33 btw) wouldn't be married. If you aren't comfortable being closeted then you're going to find yourself in a real quandry.

Heck, I get that kind of grilling from my Chinese teachers here in the States...can't imagine what it's like in country. Prepare yourself for this and if you respond 'Wo yo yige nan pengyou' to their questions then expect them to be shocked. The look on my teacher's face was priceless. I wouldn't recommend that approach once you get there, though.

There are gay bars in Beijing and a lot of foreigners in general. I'd definitely recommend that you go there rather than any other place. There's some great discussions about studying in China at the Chinese lanaguage forums: http://www.chinese-forums.com/forums.php?

It sounds like you don't know Mandarin yet, but there are websites out there: http://www.gaychinese.net/