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[cmp45]

After reading so many wild and crazy posts from all over Dave's ESL I thought some of you might appreciate this:

Conversational Terrorism

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All of the techniques listed in this document have actually been witnessed, told to us by someone else, or dreamed up. They are described in first person for clarity of motive.

The intent of detailing and naming these insidious tactics is so that the reader may AVOID USING THEM, to quickly recognize if someone else is using them, and for fun. There is much humor in the way people (consciously or unconsciously) conversationally cheat.

It is hoped that exposing these tactics will help muzzle the growing abuse in our conversational landscape. Give copies to both perpetrators and victims (only NOT for profit use).

The examples are overblown in an attempt to be both clear and funny. Use your imagination to think of how you (perish the thought) and others have used these techniques in the past.

They have been grouped by major category, with the best (worst!) saved for last.

First, we have the Ad Hominem Variants where you attack the person as a way to avoid truth, science, or logic which might otherwise prove you wrong. Next are the Sleight of Mind Fallacies, which act as "mental magic" to make sure the unwanted subject disappears. Then, we move on to Delay Tactics, which are subtle means to buy time when put on the spot. Then, the ever popular Question as Opportunity ploys, where any question can be deftly averted. Finally, we have the Cheap Shot Tactics and Irritants, which are basically "below the belt" punches.





Ad Hominem Variants

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OVER YOUR HEAD:
"I'd like to respond to that, but taking into account your background, education, and intelligence, I am quite sure that you would not be able to understand."
EVEN YOU:
"My next point will be so cogent that even you will be able to understand it."
"Even you should be able to grasp the next point."

YOU'LL GET OVER IT:
"I used to think that way when I was your age."
"As you mature emotionally (or mentally, or spiritually), you will grow out of your present way of thinking, and you will eventually come around to my point of view."

"You're new here, aren't you?"

WISHFUL THINKING:
Instead of proving a point true or false, this technique tries to imply that the individual's desires have led him/her astray without dealing with the merits of the issue itself. (C.S. Lewis termed this "Bulverism".) Any strong desire can be shown to have tainted a conclusion or clouded objectivity, which casts doubt on the legitimacy of a point. This is very close to the classic ad hominem fallacy: "you say that because you are a man."

"You support capital punishment because of a deep-rooted death wish common among those who have suffered emotional traumas during childhood."
"You oppose capital punishment because of an irrational suppressed death taboo common among those who have suffered emotional trauma during childhood."

"You weren't breast fed as a child, were you?"



Sleight of Mind Fallacies

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NIT-PICKING:
Instead of dealing with a comment or question directly, the idea here is to focus on some insignificant detail to evade the issue or buy time to think.

"We need to define just exactly what you mean by _________."
"Your last sentence ended with a preposition. Please restate it properly."

OUT OF CONTEXT:
A twisted version of NIT-PICKING, the technique here is to purposely misunderstand some word, phrase, or analogy and shift the focus to it instead of the subject. This ploy will derail the other person into a defense of the word, phrase, or analogy instead of the case at hand.

"You said 'feel' instead of 'think'. If you are feeling instead of thinking, I won't be able to convince you with reason."
"You said this happened five years before Hitler came to power. Why are you so fascinated with Hitler? Are you anti-Semitic?"

I'M NOT SAYING THIS:
This is a marvelous way to come off as nice while saying things that would otherwise be considered rude.

"Have I ever brought up the $523.52 you owe me? Never! Have I ever embarrassed you or made you feel bad over it? Have I ever told you how much I need that money? No, I never have."
"I don't care if other people say you're opinionated (or boring or overbearing, or etc.)"

"I don't want to spend a lot of time on this, but (blah, blah, blah...)."

"My dear congregation, I hate to speak of money matters, but (money, money, money, etc.)."


HEAT-SEEKING QUESTION:
The intent here is to throw the other person's competence in doubt while at the same time changing the subject. A question is asked that the other person is not likely to know the answer to, destroying their credibility and confidence. To really rub it in, the questioner can give a full answer to his/her own question proving that him/herself to have superior knowledge of the subject.

"You mentioned the constitution. Can you quote the preamble for us?"
"Do you realize which of the dialectic principles you've just violated?" [ "No."] "I'd be glad to explain them to you, but (branch to OVER YOUR HEAD)."

RIGHT BY ASSOCIATION:
"I have observed that those who disagree with me on the next point tend to be unsophisticated, and those who quickly recognize the validity of the point to be more educated. The point is...."
"Of course there is a lot of debate on this subject, but the best scholars believe..."

Want to read more.... go to... www.vandruff.com/art_converse.html

[Henry_Cowell]

All of these strategies were skillfully practiced by the erstwhile Zero Hero. May she/he rest in peace.

[stillnosheep]

Cheap Shot!

Then again, why waste the expensive ammunition if the cheap stuff can get the job done just as well!

[Henry_Cowell]

A few "isolated" examples for your reading pleasure:

OVER YOUR HEAD

[Guy Courchesne]

The man himself

[Boy Wonder]

Looks like a good, solid, upright citizen of the free world!

[Henry_Cowell]

Rasputin was a citizen of the "free world"??

[Boy Wonder]

And the topic of a great Boney M former number One.

Sorry Henry I was unaware that Rasputin had arisen from the ashes but if you say it's him then i'll take your word for it!!

[Guy Courchesne]

That's actually Zero's Hero Jukka "Yucca" Korpela, the neatest norwegian (or finest fin?) ever to comment on HTML. I shoulda posted a caption.

[Justin Trullinger]

[Henry_Cowell]