Job Discussion Forums

[expatben]

I remember in Changchun when I was teaching I opened up to some Q and A. A kid asked a question that sounded like "do you see me as fat?" Confused and thinking he was wasting my time I answered no. It was only upon thinking did I relize this teenager said "do you see my as A FRIEND?" I really hope I diddn't hurt the guys feelings. I never saw that kid again even though I had his class the week after.
Has anyone else had a problem like that?

[Deconstructor]

Not quite like yours, but, one of my French students once said, "My boyfriend make me hungry so I eat him", to which my response was, "Did he taste good?". She realized her mistake and turned candy apple red.

She meant to say, "My boyfriend made me angry so I hit him".

[hesterprynne]

In my defense, the girl was very heavy, wearing a boy's T-shirt, and had very short hair, even for China. Those could have been man boobs....I routinely change student names the first day of class if I think they are inappropriate. I am sure we all run into silly or mismatched names. So when she said, "My name is Tina", I loudly announced that Tina is a girl's name. My TA told me the student was, in fact, female! I was mortified but tried not to show it.

[Celeste]

Always make sure you understand the question before answering! I too learned this lesson the hard way. I was teaching a fourth grade elementary school class and the kids were doing a Christmas crafts project so I was making small talk with the kids as I circulated around the room. A kid with fairly high level skills (I think he may have lived in the US for a year) asked me "Do you like strange man?" I was confused and I said "No!". All of the kids started laughing and pointing at the autistic kid in the class.

I and the regular classroom teacher had to have a little talk with a group of 9 year old boys about bullying and human rights. Plenty of tears. I felt like a first class heel.

[roostasha]

I teach at a kindergarten 2 mornings a week. After a month of teaching I had worked through a bunch of animal vocabulary and "It is a _____" grammar, and have moved on to people vocabulary to work up to "I am a_____" grammar. Boy, girl, teacher were first on the list. BOYBOYBOY!All the boys, stand up! I'm going around giving all the boys high fives and I catch my Chinese assistant's eye just as I'm about to tell Chris to stand up. Turns out Chris is a girl. Nobody told me I had given a boy's name to a girl, because nobody had ever heard the name before. I had even said to my assistant how HE was the worst student in the class, but given the whole he/she confusion in Chinglish, she didn't pick up on it, and probably used he in her response, or if she used she, I probably thought she was mixing them up. But I'm telling you, this is one unfortunate girl. Boyish clothes, short hair, and a bit of a trouble maker, to me, that spells out boy. Ooops! I'm now transitioning into calling her Chrissy.

[basiltherat]

it was xmas time a few years back in jakarta. a female teacher and i had agreed to join up our teenage classes cos we anticipated that classes wud be small because it was close to xmas. we'd also agreed to give them a video (feature film) to watch with a worksheet task.
while i set up the audio visual equipment in the classroom, i asked the female teacher to just grab the appropriate video from my workstation in the staffroom. she returned, i shoved it in the video machine and suggested that she stay for the first half of the 'lesson' and i wud swap and take the second hour of the 'class'. i returned to the staffroom and sat drinking a coffee and smoking a ciggie. within 5 minutes the female teacher came running into the staffroom ... "basil, are you sure we have the correct video ?" ... "Yes. Why ? What's wrong ?" I said. 'Well, its showing a young girl ripping her stockings off"
I leapt up, ran to the classroom and stopped the video. A loud "Ahhhhhh !"
echoed around the room from the gleeful boy teenagers. Clearly, someone had put the wrong video cassette in the wrong cover.
"Ok, guys" I said "I think I'll just go and get the film we are SUPPOSED to be watching"

Its funny now, looking back on it but .... at the time I nearly sh@t myself. btw, the film was not Midnight Cowboy.

basil

[kev7161]

My first time in China, at a summer camp. I had a quiet, shy student - - sort of studious looking. I must have called this student "he" and "him" several times. Somehow I found out (from another student? I don't remember) that "he" was a "she". "She" told me that she didn't mind because she would like to be a boy - - very strong. ???? Nice girl, though.

After this year's Spring Festival, one of my young girls came in with a new hairstyle. "Very nice," said I, "Sort of Japanese looking." (well, it was!) The next day, her hair was back to it's normal style.

[Jyulee]

This morning, a discussion question came up..

"Which do you value more, your arms or your legs?"

It was meant lightheatedly (along with the other questions)... After a quick chat, one of the four students in the class revealed that she only had one leg - the other one was prosthetic. After having taught her for 3 weeks, you�d think I would�ve noticed.

That was my worst ever experience, and it happened this morning.

[Seeker of truth]

In Japan, I had the task of administering an oral English test to a small group of businessmen, one at a time. One guy was overly nervous while taking the test..I mean, this guy not only had a bad case of the shakes, but was also sweating profusely. By the end of the test, his perspiration literally formed a puddle on the table in front of him. I had to ask him to wipe it dry before he left. I taught him the word "disgusting".

[Jizzo T. Clown]

While I was working in Japan I had a one-to-one surfer girl. The lesson theme was "Making Arrangements."

After seeing that she had a hard time understanding the TL, I said
"For example, 'Would you like to play tennis?'"

She thought I was asking her out and she started crying. She said she was only a young girl and she was very sorry...it was a nightmare, and we still had 30 minutes to go. It took most of that to calm her down. I tried to play dumb but I don't think I fooled her.

[Glenski]

Teaching a small class of retired men and women, I had a bad experience once. As I turned from writing something on the board, I noticed the oldest man (nearly 80) slowly lean to his side until his head rested on a woman's shoulder, then slid down into her lap. She was quite surprised to say least, and when we couldn't rouse the old guy, it became clear that he had suffered some sort of medical episode.

I went to the door only to find that the stupid doorknob was loose enough that it wouldn't open properly. I tried to remain calm so that I wouldn't shake it, but rather just turn it smoothly. Those few seconds seemed like eternity. No phone in the room either. No windows to wave to the staff just outside the door.

When I finally got the door open and notified the staff, they hurried a nurse over from the adjoining doctor's office (damn convenient, thank goodness!), and she assessed the old guy's condition. He admitted to having very low blood pressure and being susceptible to these blackouts. He left the class for further medical attention, and I was left with about 50 minutes more in that same class! The staff manager just whispered to me to finish my lesson!! Trust me, that wasn't easy.

Next week, the old guy returned only to offer his sincere apologies to the whole class, individually, then to give me a present and announce that he was leaving the class. Very Japanese.

[khmerhit]

Vietnamese crab soup for lunch one day in Phnom Penh. I returned to school and taught all afternoon, pausing a bit and resuming at five o'clock.

The vietnamese soup became the lesson, let's put it that way, and the lesson was all over the floor. No wonder the Cambodians despise the Vietnamese.

[Sara Avalon]

One of my grade 2 students was being so bad in class, I took him aside for a good talking-to. Other students peered on as I scolded him for disrupting the class:

"After school, I'm going to call your parents!" I threatened.

He didn't understand, so I explained. "Your mama and baba."

He snorted and said I could try all I wanted... but his dad was dead.

I felt awful! Especialy when I found out that his dad had died very recently. His mother had made him the new man of the house. He was taking care of his brothers and sisters and came to school ready to play and be a kid. Poor thing..

[gordogringo]

Had a wonderful little boy in my 5 year olds class in Taiwan.Often came to school tired as he ate mostly candy for breakfast.It was a school rule english only in the classrooms.I started each class with "remember no chinese".Partway in to the lesson I heard this little boy speaking chinese.I said "Remember the rule".Two minutes later he burst out crying.When I asked him what was wrong he said"but teacher eric,I'm Chinese".

[dmb]

^ thats not a bad experience. That's quite sweet.