Job Discussion Forums

[Guy Courchesne]

How high up on your priority list is/was the idea of finding true love, a fling, or just some companionship in Latin America?

I got down to Mexico not thinking at all about this...well, nothing beyond the normal male sex drive anyway! However, I met my future wife after only about 2 months, and we were engaged to be married rather quickly afterwards. She was one of my first students by the way.

Now that I've been here for several years, I've gotten lots of email and seen many posts from newbies on this topic. Correspondence from the young guys often ask 'how easy is it to get laid?', 'is it true that Latinas adore white/blonde/blue-eyed Americans?', or 'will all the girls chase me for my money and think about only a green card?'. Typical stuff I guess.

The ladies that write or post seem to be mostly concerned about safety, STDs, and quite a few looking for that handsome Latino stud who happens to be rich. Often divorced and/or in their 30's, 40's, even 50s. Guess all that is normal too.

While I don't get many, several write or post to ask the gay/les/bi scene here too. A little beyond my experience to offer advice, but I think there's generally a pretty active and open scene here for everyone, at least in most Mexican cities I've visited.

But, I ask, how important is it for you, the newbie, in your decisions to come to this part of the world? How important is it for you, the newly arrived teacher, as you settle in? How important has it been for you, the veteran or expat teacher, as you've settled in, maybe married, or playing the field? And lastly, how has it been for you, the soon-to-depart teacher after having done your tour here?

Don't be afraid lurkers, Don Juans, spinsters, and freaks. I like an honest and active forum.

[naturegirl321]

I had no desire for a relationship. I was set on being single, studying, then adopting. I think due to my parents- horrible marriage, I was afraid.
I do hear the stereotypes still about the latinos going for gringos so that they can go immigrate and the gringos going for the latinos for sex. The Latin lovers and the loose gringos. Of course some people fit those sterotypes, but there are a ton that dont-
I know I didn-t come here for it and wasn-t here for a backpacker fling. I-m not here stuyding for a bit or doing volunteer work. Teaching is my job.
Guy, by the way good topic.
And how long did it take you to get your docs for marriage? That would be an interesting topic. The fastest here was 2 months, slowest 9 months. That I know of.

[Guy Courchesne]

I married in Canada...pretty simple affair then to have it recognized here. My wife was aksed to put together several docs at an expense of about $300 dollars, but it turns out she didn't need to at all when we got to the Ottawa city hall desk for the license.

Pre-marriage stuff. I had a run though the singles' scene and never found anyone after money or a green card...just a lot of fun, girls who insist on dancing as a way to get-to-know-you, and a lot of possessiveness. People here seem quick to say I Love You, compared to back home.

[RyanS]

I don't think there is a "green card" type thing in canada, you have to sponsor people to become citizens.

[Guy Courchesne]

[Perpetual Traveller]

And when all else fails, there's always www.meet-an-inmate.com to fall back on.

Actually JT might like to take that one into consideration (it's like a loose tooth)

PT

[thelmadatter]

I didn't think about dating when I came here. I assumed (dang those stereotypes!) that there wouldnt be hardly any available men in my age bracket (40ish). I dont consider married men available! I found that divorce is a lot more common than I thought and I also found quite a large number of men in their 40's who have never been married. (At the risk of stereotyping yet again... I have found I have to be careful with these guys just like in the States... often there is a good reason they have never married!) That being said, I have to admit that the guy I am casually dating now has never been married.

Overall, I have found dating here to be a pleasant experience. The hard part is meeting guys between work and the fact that Toluca has got to be one of the most boring places on the face of the earth. While I have run into the attitude of "gringa = easy", the overwhelming majority of the guys who have shown interest in me (not that they are lining up outside my door! ) are open-minded, flexible and comfortable with who they are.

Perhaps I shouldn't compare dating here with dating in the States... I divorced only 3.5 years ago and started datining again here. Dating at 40-something is very different ballgame than it was at 20-something. I suspect a lot of the positive vibe I get now is simply that we both are more mature.

[lozwich]

Although I wanted to come to Latin America for reasons a lot more about me than anyone else, part of my going to Mexico was to meet up with someone who I had plans to marry. Unfortunately that didn't work out.

In the proceeding years I haven't really dated at all. Some days I mind this, and others I'm having a whole lot of fun just being here that it doesn't matter at all. Thankfully its more of the latter than the former!

[Ben Round de Bloc]

[Guy Courchesne]

[Justin Trullinger]

[Perpetual Traveller]

[Justin Trullinger]

Hey PT,

Love the photo! You really are gorgeous...

[Ben Round de Bloc]

[Perpetual Traveller]