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[biffinbridge]

You start wearing slippers in your house.(Poland).
You stop using toilet paper.(The Middle East).
You start drinking Stella.(England).
You stop using soap.(France).

[grahamb]

you despise all foreigners (Eng-er-land).

[Kent F. Kruhoeffer]

You know when you've gone native when ...


you start saying 'same same' and 'no have?'

you think it's perfectly normal to shower 3 or 4 times a day

you think it's actually better to use a water-hose than toilet paper

you think it's perfectly normal to put ice in your beer

you give all the street dogs nicknames


Welcome to Thailand !

[Gordon]

(Japan)
You have bathroom slippers.
You take out the garbage in your pajamas and geta.
You stop thinking it is funny to stick your chopsticks upright in your rice bowl in a restaurant (remembrance of death).
You bow when driving.

[tw]

For more laughs check out these two threads:

You know you've been living in Japan too long when...

www.eslcafe.com/forums/job/viewtopic.php?t=28397

You know you've been in China too long when...

http://www.eslcafe.com/forums/job/viewtopic.php?t=28410

[guest of Japan]

Japan continued:

- You bow on the telephone.

- You start asking your mom if she is genki.

- You finish e-mails to old friends from home in which you ask favors with "yoroshiku onegai shimasu".

- Knowing a person's blood type actually helps you understand their personality.

- You start to find logic problematic.

- You really get the urge to buy a $100 cantelope just to know.

- You start to know more about politics in your host country than your own, and are more passionate.

- You realize that the best way to make a friends is to tell them that you are tired. Shared experience.

- The idea of sitting in a big, hot pool or water with a bunch of old naked men sounds pretty appealing.

- You take out the garbage in your wife's shoes.

[thelmadatter]

This is from a similar thread "Como Mexico No Hay Dos"

This is an old forwarded email a student of mine sent me a few years back, I know almost all of you haven't worked in Mexico City, but thought you would enjoy it none the less.

You know you've lived in Mexico City when...

A wedding is at 8:00 pm, you get there at 10:00 and nobody has arrived yet.

You really think "Doritos" were invented by the Mayans.

You believe lime juice cures almost everything.
You believe a shot of tequila cures everything else.

When travelling, you bring along small cans of chiles.

Leaving the office at 5:00 pm means working "half day".

You blame the pollution on "El Popo".
You blame the rain on "Un Norte en Veracruz"
You blame the traffic on the rich.
You blame the crime on the poor.
You blame the PRI for almost everything else.
You blame los "pinches gringos" for whatever's left.

You have more faith in the mugger than the cop.
You have more faith in the cop than the priest.
You have more faith in the priest than the mayor.
You have more faith in the mayor than the president.
You have more faith in the president than your spouse.

The word "Puente" means five day weekend.

You enjoy drinking beer with lime, salt, ice, tabasco sauce and still ask for an imported brand.

You know Mexican beer is among the world's best, but with friends, you'll still order a Bud Light.

You use "Licenciado" as a proper name.

On a restaurant table there are more cell phones and beepers than dinnerware.

If you order the tacos and your friend orders the enchiladas, you're positive the waiter will get it backwards.

You go "pssssst" to catch a waiter's attention... in New York City.

You refer to "@" as (Arroba) but have no clue what it means.

Your English has seriously deteriorated: you "grab a fart" and call a crowd "ball of big goats", and the object of your wrath is not directed at an antagonist, but rather at his mother.

You use the word "este" as a conversation filter... in English
You say "good" when answering a telephone... in English.
You say "M�ndeme" when someone calls you... in English

You keep on addressing good friends as barnyard animals.("Buey & Cabr�n") are the animals most often employed).

You refer to a salesman as "maestro"... at Saks Fifth Avenue.

You eat tacos, enchiladas, morcilla, moronga, and medula, but believe hamburgers are unhealty.

When a stranger on the street smiles at you, you assume that:
a) He's drunk.
b) He wants to sell you something.
c) He�s an American.
d) He's a mugger.
e) He's gay.
f) He's all the above.

When someone tells you "I'll call you", you assume that he won't.
When someone says, "Let's have lunch next week", you assume he's lived in Los Angeles.

"Tomorrow" means "not right now", "never", or "screw you".

Calling in sick on Monday is proper behavior.

You keep a 20 dollar bill taped to the back of your driver's license.

If you want 50 people to show up for your party, you invite 150.
If you expect 50 people to show up for your party, you have enough food for the 200 who might show up.

You call an 80 year old waiter "joven". You call a twenty year old waiter "viejo". You call everyone else, "hermano", "mano", or "manito". But you call your real brother, "pendejo".

You never refer to a friend's mother as simply "su madre", but always qualify by saying, "su se�ora madre", or " su querida madre", to avoid a misunderstanding which could get you a "madrazo".

You assume women fall into three categories: virgins, whores and your wife.
You assume your daughters are virgins because they get home before you do at night.

You profess, "como Mexico No hay dos", but secretly wish Mexico City was more like San Antonio.

You know the next "sexenio" will be better. You know you're dreaming.

[Guy Courchesne]

[Ms. Atondo]

[Gordon]

I like the one about the $20 bill taped to your driver's license.

[El Llama]

You know you've been in Indonesia too long when...

- You believe a Kijang is a well-made, prestigious vehicle
- You suffer from "masuk angin," or even believe that it exists
- You scorn pedestrian crossings, instead treating crossing the road as a form of extreme sport with extra points being scored if you cross at night wearing dark clothing (also, you believe that limply flapping a hand will halt a 5-ton truck in its tracks)
- You drink warm water but cool tea
- You stroll into a 5 star hotel wearing shorts, flip flops and a ratty t-shirt yet feel no sense of shame
- You believe you won't get arrested.
- If you somehow do get arrested you know you'll be able to buy your way out of trouble.
- You only use your mobile phone to send text messages
- You believe that chicken heads and feet are tasty treats
- Your car costs more than your house
- The footprints on the toilet seat are yours

And so on and so on and so on. . .

[spidey]

You know you've been living in Japan too long or Korea for that matter when...

You finally get the pants off the chick you've been dating and expect to see a blurred out version of her pubic area.

S