Job Discussion Forums

turkishlover25 · Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 142 Location: Charleston, IL USA

So, what's the scoop on meeting Turkish girls? I mean... how do they generally react to foreigners, and is it easy to mix with the locals/ladies? I don't mean for this post to sound perverted, but I am 21 and interested in spending the rest of my life in Turkey if I meet the right Turk. I mean, I already speak Turkish and dated one for 2 years, so why not keep the cycle going. If possible let's try to keep the language semi-clean, though I realize that IS asking alot. I just don't know what the policy is on such questions.

BERRY · Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 37

Policy = stay MUM - or get a really good health insurance! Shocked

emypie · Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2005 11:12 am Post subject: Re: Finding the One?

BERRY · Joined: 26 Nov 2005 Posts: 37

Go East young man and meet your maker...

Mark Loyd · Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 517

Seems odd to decide your whole life before you have even met the one or spent any length of time in the country you want to spend your whole life in.

turkishlover25 · Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 142 Location: Charleston, IL USA

Actually I have lived in Turkey for about 5 months in the past. And besides that, after being in an international relatioship, American girls have lost much of their former appeal.

tekirdag · Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 505

Be sure to get yourself a job teaching adults. Then arrange social nights and get togethers. The students get to make friends and practice English, you get cool tours, nights out and get to know your students. Who knows, maybe you'll find "the one". There are some really awesome people amongst those adult students, y' know. Don't just invite the girls, though. You'll look like a slime bag!! Laughing

(I met my husband in a school. He worked in the office. )

turkishlover25 · Joined: 27 Sep 2005 Posts: 142 Location: Charleston, IL USA

I lived in Ankara for about 5 months, and when I lived in the Netherlands for 6 months I met a lot of college-age Turks from Istanbul, but alas, I have no experience with the eastern reaches of Turkey.

I am not going to Turkey JUST for the girls, but it certainly wouldn't upset me to find some companionship there. I really don't know many people that live in Istanbul outside of my Turkish roommate�s family though. My ex-girlfriend lives in Ankara and I really don't want to stir up that bees nest. Would you say it is easy to build up a good network of friends, Turks and expats?

Mark Loyd · Joined: 13 Sep 2005 Posts: 517

TEFLers in Turkey don't use the term 'ex-pat' to refer to fellow TEFLers. Perhaps it is because they are not ex-pats in the sense of having well paid jobs.

Easy to meet Turks but you will always be turkishlover25 the foreigner.

almuze · Joined: 25 Oct 2004 Posts: 125

True, you will always be the foreigner, but this can be really useful sometimes....For example, when I give my kids cold water to drink and my in-laws verge calling me a bad mother, I can say "but our people do it this way".... or when the security guard is about to ask you to move, you can just start talking very loudly in english and pretend you have no idea what his hand gestures mean. (I admit, some days I am not so friendly) Smile

I met my husband cuz we knew the same people and invited me over for tea. But, I think if you wanted to meet a turkish girl you would have to invite her whole family. Smile

good luck![/i]

justme · Joined: 18 May 2004 Posts: 1944 Location: Istanbul

I met my husband in an ex-pat bar. Ex-student of a friend.

I tell my mother in law that draughts don't make foreigners sick, and she believes me.

I will always be a foreigner. It's easier to be weird because you're a foriegner than be weird just because you're, well, weird.

Teaching adults is probably your best bet. I reiterate the warning about visa hunters though, and add to it a warning about gold diggers.

If you wanted an easy life you would have stayed home, right?

almuze · Joined: 25 Oct 2004 Posts: 125

True, I was going to say that too, (excuse me while I make a few sweeping cultural generalizations....)
I think turkish women generally expect to be taken care of, in sort of a "my husband provides for me" kind of a way, and turkish men generally expect to be taken care of in sort of "my wife cooks hot dinners and irons my shirts for me" kind of a way. These are not really popular ....ways of thinking in most western cultures.

When western men don't insist that thier turkish wives iron thier shirts and give them hot dinners, many turkish women see this as... a gold mine? wow! makes better money than my dad AND doesn't want me to scrub the floor with a toothbrush! Thus, he can provide for me (doesn't even need to complete his military service first!) and dinner can be microwaved! ya-hoo! Smile

Then, of course, western women who have never seen an iron before coming to turkey (like me) married to turkish men who grew up watching thier mothers bake everything from scratch AND scrub the floors with the old toothbrush.... this is a totally differnt dynamic.
but turkishlover25 is really only interested in the westernboy/turkishgirl one, so, when you meet "the one" don't forget get to bring a chapereon, kiss anne and baba's hands, and compliment the chief. (if she salts your turkish coffee, she's not interested!)

yaramaz · Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2005 9:32 am Post subject:

I thought the coffee salting thing was to test your devotion to her and your tact (by not spitting it out in horror and revulsion). This is more complicated than I thought.

Baba Alex · Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 2411

Makes me realise how luck I am not to have to deal with any of that stuff. Salted coffee? That would finish me off. I take my coffee very seriously, as I do with most foods.

But remember, you'll never meet the right girl if you look too hard.

You can't hurry love, No you just have to wait, Love don't come easy.......................

Baba Alex · Joined: 17 Aug 2004 Posts: 2411