Job Discussion Forums

[Gordon]

"You drink from your cup so well. I haven't seen you spill anything yet."

OR

"Arigato, can you use a knife and fork?"

[Brooks]

you don`t use a fork so well. Allow me to teach you.

it is boring to hear Japanese people tell us about how well we use chopsticks. This is my fourth year in Japan and I live with a Japanese woman who does the cooking, so yeah I can use chopsticks.

do they realize or care how totemo uruzai it is to hear that question?

[guest of Japan]

Thank you. I practice everyday.

[Synne]

"I'm Canadian, what can I say, I know my lumber."

"I practise using my viper grip technique for chopsticks everyday....relentlessly... (At this point I snap the chopstick as if they where toothpicks!)"



"I know, It's a secret though so don't tell anyone k? "

[Glenski]

I just say, "Thank you. It's easy".

[shmooj]

Thank them and then stick one into a nostril, pull out something large and green and then chomp on it.

Alternatively...

Pick up something from the table preferably that stains well. Thank them. Disagree courteously while waving aforesaid food item and drop it into their lap.

[Lynn]

I'm a stickler for using chopsticks the proper way. (middle finger under top chopstick)

So, I usually look at the person who said it and say:
sono mochikata tadashi no?

Is that the right way to hold them? (looking at the person)

I also tell them that I would never marry a Jpes man who didn't know how to hold them properly.

[Celeste]

I often, like Glenski, just say thank you. Some times I mention that I have been using them since I was a small child because my paternal grandmother is from Shanghai. (I have had one or two people tell me that Chinese chopsticks don't count because they are so big and therefore much easier to use. Apparently using true nihon no hashi is a skill all its own that I have magically picked up in a remarkably short time- a year and a half)

[Shaman]

"Why, thank you. I have reverted to using wood once again, as composite sticks break too readily under a slight modicum of pressure."

Sorry --- hockey playoffs have overtaken my mindset.

Shaman

[ironopolis]

[PAULH]

[quote="ironopolis"]

[lajzar]

My normal response is to switch to my left hand and carry on eating.

[Canuck2112]

Do what I do...just recite some completely random movie quote. Jean Claude Van Damme's "Bloodsport" has been my film de jour for this purpose. Some good ones:

"If Senzo Tanaka IS your Shidoshi, then show me the Dim Mak!!"

"He's the American who makes chicks with bricks!" <said while pointing to a random Japanese male>

"If you expect me to be your punching bag, you can forget about our deal!" (in your best Belgian accent)

Some of the looks you get are priceless.

[JimDunlop2]

I think I like lajzar's comment.. To expand on that angle, maybe I should start using: "Well.. if you think that's special, you should see what we Canadians can do with a hockey stick!"

Either that,or with a dead serious expression, explain to them that "chopstick using" has been a mandatory subject taught in all Canadian elemenary schools since World War II as part of an experimental secret intelligence program designed to integrate Canadian spies into Japan.... (IF you can keep a straight face long enough)....

As the saying goes: "If you can't dazzle em' with brilliance, baffle em' with bullsh!t!"

[Zzonkmiles]

I usually just smile and say thanks while jokingly feigning Japanese modesty. This comment really doesn't irk me. Accepting the compliment with a smile would seem to go farther than embarrassing the person with a witty retort.

Interestingly enough, very few Japanese have commented on my ability to use chopsticks. (I too place my middle finger under the top chopstick.) It seems to me like the more Japanese you can speak and the more the Japanese you regularly meet respect you, the less likely they are to make these empty comments. Kinda like the more legitimate they think you are, the less (false) praise they give you. Instead, they tend to praise you by comparing you to "other" foreigners and talk about how they respect you so much more than them. At least, that's been my experience.