Job Discussion Forums

[kiracle]

I got a job that starts in (gulp) two weeks Aeon and I am gettign married this weekend. I was goign to try to do that husband comes over a month later idea but now I'm not so sure. He's an English teacher but not native so Aeon wouldn't hire him and won't technically let him live with me either. We were just going to try a live there quietly together but just got a phone call from Aeon who from an private inquiry email I sent to the teacher I'm replacing decuded that we might try that. They forbid me from living with him while at the same time saying that in the second half of the year nobody would care or check. What am I supposed to think? Should I still go?

[Celeste]

I would say NO. If any employer told me that I was not to live with my spouse I would tell them to keep thier job. ( I wouldn't want to try and guess what their next ridiculous demand might be. - hey, it's okay if you bring the baby home from the hospital in6 months, but not right now...) They probably have housing lined up for their employees that has a strict lease for 1 person only, and they aren't prepared to try and accomodate you until another couple leaves other housing that they also hold the lease for. If they are not charging you key money, then I suppose this might be a consideration- if they are charging key money then you should be able to find your own housing. Find out if this is the reason they are being unreasonable, then try and negotiate something.

[locagrl814]

I don't think that you should go because you guys are getting married this weekend. You'll be leaving too soon after your wedding. I think you should take some time to enjoy living in the same house. I'm not sure if the husband comes once a month would work. Remember plane tickets arent cheap.

[locagrl814]

oops sorry i read your post wrong. I thought you wrote husband comes once a month. Sorry! In any case, I still think that you shouldn;t take the job because they wouldn't let you live with your husband.

[Glenski]

Starting a wedded life in a foreign land with a new job is definitely a huge handful! I hope the two of you are well-prepared for the experience.

As for AEON, if you can live in an apartment that they don't supply (but still serve as your guarantor), then go for it. That way, they have no possible reason to deny you your (already) legal right to live with your spouse.

P.S. Just as an aside, I found it very difficult to read your post with all of the run-on sentences and garbled grammar.

[Ted]

Ask them to sponsor you for your own pad and don't challenge your young marriage.

TED

[azarashi sushi]

Hi Kiracle ... CONGRATULATIONS on the marriage!!!

About what kind of strain this would place on the marriage, I can't really comment ... but about the housing I can ... It is as Celeste pointed out, that the aprtments have a "one person" lease. I was in a similar situation and was told it would be perfectly OK to have a live-in girlfriend (or whatever) a few weeks down the track, but I should initially go into the aprtment by myself. As with so many things in Japan, it's all about "keeping up appearances" and APPEARING to do the right thing.

I suppose it boils down to what's important for you... Being in Japan or being together?

If you can afford it, do as Ted suggested... get them to go guarrantor on your own apartment.

Incidentally, where have you been placed? Depending on which city it is, it would affect your husband's chances of finding employment.

GOOD LUCK!

A.S.

[kiracle]

Yeah, genski, you are right. That was certainly a posting full of run-on sentences. I have a real fondness for them despite knowing better.

Anyway, thank you all for your advice. Unfortunately, the option of having Aeon sponsor us for an apartment won't work. They refused a few months ago. At that time they also gave the impression that appearances were more important than whether or not we really lived there together. ( i.e. having a separate address for him - which I don't - even though they wouldn't really check it) Now, however, after an international reprimand before I've even arrived, I'm feeling a little doubtful.

My soon -to-be husband and I gave this a lot of though and believed that a year in Japan could be an excellent, strength-building way to start our marriage. However, dealing with uncertainty and sneaking around (since we will try to live together - I don't see other options) might be negative to us as a couple.

I'm thinking of sayign no to a job that has sponsored my visa and expects me in two weeks. This is a serious decision and that's why I was asking for informed opinions.

Thanks,

Kiracle

PS Job is in F u k uoka

[lajzar]

Just tell them that you want to work for them, but sharing a roof with your husband is too important.

If they really care about employing YOU (hint: they don't. any warm body will do), they'll find a way.

[guest of Japan]

Congratulations on your marriage.

Now the bad news. You are an economic risk for the company. If they find you a new apartment and you quit, then they are stuck with a new more expensive apartment. They've already paid the key money on the old apartment long ago, so they do not want to take another several thousand dollars out of the school budget to secure the newbie.

You can probably sneek in your husband at a later time. AEON is probably just trying to cover their bums by reprimanding you now. The landlord is the person that should concern you. He of she signs a contract with AEON stipulating single occupancy. If there are 2 people living there he or she will probably want more money.

Also the apartment will probably be very small. You might find that 2 people do not fit very well.

Incidently your Visa is not valid until you get to Japan, so don't think that you can quit now and keep the Visa.

You don't have any easy choices here. Bear in mind that your husband will have difficulty finding work in Japan. This may put your young marriage in dire straits. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[JimDunlop2]

Don't do it. No kidding.... This is coming from someone who is still (relatively speaking) a newlywed. We celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary in May.

Both my wife and I are currently in Japan working. We don't work for the "Big Three" though. The school I work for sponsored us to get our own 2DK, (a loan for the brib.. er.. key money and deposit which we will pay back to the school)....

From personal experience (and the experience of friends) beginning a married life together is MORE than challenging enough... (Our minister who married us described the first year of marriage as a 'roller coaster from hell' if I remember his words correctly)... You will have enough to worry about without the additional stress....

This not a "strength-building exercise" as your husband put it, and I don't think you shouldn't try to treat it as such. The lack of respect NOVA shows you by their inflexibility in company policy and rules will also permeate into your marriage. I mean.... A different address for the sake of appearance? WHOSE? You're married! And even if you weren't, I have yet to have a student or a parent (or heck, even a co-worker) ask or care about who I live with or not. It's not about appearance my dear, if you ask me, it's all about paperwork and bureaucracy.

As I mentioned, the experiences that have been relayed to me from various sources seem to suggest that there are usually two possible outcomes when a couple moves to another country. It will either bring you both closer together than you ever had experienced before, or it will tear apart your marriage. Don't let a company's dumbass policy jeopardize what's most important to you.

Again, that's just my 2-yen for what it's worth....

Cheers,

JD

P.S... Mazel Tov! (Congratulations on your wedding!)

P.P.S. I won't throw any rice for you ... In Japan it's too expensive as it is!