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We've all had 'em
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johnslat



Joined: 21 Jan 2003
Posts: 13859
Location: Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 8:51 am    Post subject: We've all had 'em Reply with quote

'em being students who are a little less than conscious - comatose, in fact.
So, here are some ways to describe 'em:

38 Kinder, Gentler Ways to Say Someone is " Mentally-Challenged "

1. A few clowns short of a circus
2. A few fries short of a Happy Meal
3. An experiment in artificial stupidity
4. A few beers short of a six-pack
5. Dumber than a box of hair
6. A few peas short of a casserole
7. Doesn't have all his cornflakes in one box
8. The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead
9. One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl
10. One taco short of a combo plate
11. A few feathers short of a whole duck
12. All foam, no beer
13. The cheese slid off the cracker
14. Body by Fisher - Brains by Mattel
15. Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt
16. Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear
17. Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel
18. He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down
19. An intellect rivaled only by garden tools
20. As smart as bait
21. Chimney's clogged
22. Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash
23. Doesn't know much but leads the league in nostril hair
24. Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor
25. Forgot to pay his brain bill
26. Her sewing machine's out of thread
27. His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels
28. His belt doesn't go through all the loops
29. If he had another brain it would be lonely
30. Missing a few buttons on his remote control
31. No grain in the silo
32. Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse
33. Receiver is off the hook
34. Several nuts short of a full pouch
35. Skylight leaks a little
36. Slinky's kinked
37. Surfing in Nebraska
38. Too much yardage between the goal posts

Hope you don't have to use these too often.
Regards,
John
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Sandgropers



Joined: 05 Jun 2003
Posts: 39

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Or, our favourite is

'The lights are on, but there's nobody home' Laughing

Cheers
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Shonai Ben



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 617

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:47 am    Post subject: More... Reply with quote

Arrow A few bricks shy of a full load.
Arrow Not playing with a full deck
Arrow His/Her brain is in neutral

Anyone else?
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grahamb



Joined: 30 Apr 2003
Posts: 1945

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 9:59 am    Post subject: Cerebrally-challenged students Reply with quote

Sandgropers, that one�s a classic.
Another good one I heard was "Paralysed from the neck up."
Next, please!
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PanamaTeacher



Joined: 26 Jun 2003
Posts: 278
Location: Panama

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead

I love that one

How about: unarmed in the battle of wits
can't chew gum and walk at the same time
was sleeping when god passed out the brains
thinks that f**king and cooking are cities in China
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Shonai Ben



Joined: 15 Feb 2003
Posts: 617

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 11:49 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

A few more...

Arrow Dumb as a doornail
Arrow As bright as a burnt out lightbulb
Arrow Sh@t for brains

more?....
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PanamaTeacher



Joined: 26 Jun 2003
Posts: 278
Location: Panama

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

has his head up his a**
doesn't know sh*t from shinola
IQ is lower than his/her age
wouldn't know the right answer if it bit him
thinks recess is a class
thinks that moby d*ck is a STD
studied for his rectal exam
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Celeste



Joined: 17 Jan 2003
Posts: 814
Location: Fukuoka City, Japan

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 12:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dumber'n a sack o' broken hammers.

Oh, wait, that's not kind or gentle.

"When you got picked up by the school bus when you were a kid, was it a long yellow bus or a short yellow bus?"

"Short bus, sir."

"I see, and when you ate lunch in the school cafeteria, did you get knives and forks."

"No sir, we ate our porkchops with a spoon."
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Shaman



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 446
Location: Hammertown

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

A very good list so far. Here are some more:

Sharp as a marble
Bright as a three-watt bulb
IQ of a ______ (plant, soapdish etc.)
Dumb as dirt
Mouthbreather

For a normally smart person who pulls a stupid manoeuvre:

Had a brain cramp

Smile

Shaman
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SueH



Joined: 01 Feb 2003
Posts: 1022
Location: Northern Italy

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 2:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

as dim as a Toc H lamp
as thick as two short planks
...
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Irish



Joined: 13 Jan 2003
Posts: 371

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dumber than a box of rocks

Driveway doesn't go all the way to the street

Walking organ bank
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PanamaTeacher



Joined: 26 Jun 2003
Posts: 278
Location: Panama

PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2003 4:16 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

potential republican presidential candidate
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woza17



Joined: 25 May 2003
Posts: 602
Location: china

PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 12:03 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

someone that doesn't listen.
Are your ears painted on?

I really like the dead hamster one
Cheers
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buffy



Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 57

PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 2:41 am    Post subject: Picked these up down in Oz.. Reply with quote

A few tinnies short of a slab.
A few yabbies short of a barbie.
A few 'roos loose in the top paddock.
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Mike_2003



Joined: 27 Mar 2003
Posts: 344
Location: Bucharest, Romania

PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2003 7:09 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The engine's running but the driver's seat is empty.
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