Job Discussion Forums

jpf_msw · Joined: 18 Feb 2006 Posts: 4 Location: New Jersey, USA

Hey everyone... I am a 27 year old gay male living in the States. I have a Master's degree in Social Work and have been working as a medical social worker/ counselor for 3 years now. Anyway I am now realizing that this career is not for me. It's depressing and settled adn no room for advancement. At 27 I am seeing my friends all either settle down in marriage/ career/ educational advancement, and am realizing that if I do not act soon I might never get the chutzpah to pursue this. I have always wanted to teach and travel. I basically want to know when you all decided to just "take the plunge". I am making a very good salary here, and know that teaching abroad will be a financial nightmare, but I really don't care. I think it would be fun to do for a year or 2.

Before you decided to do this, did anyone suffer from what I call the "then what..." syndrome? Meaning, when I think of going abroad for a period of time, the thought creeps into my mind of, once my time teaching abroad is finished... then what? Just curious.

Racheala · Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 10:51 am Post subject:

Hi,

I can totally relate to the whole gotta change my life feeling. I'm a 28 female and was working in a totally male dominated area and was just plain sick and tired of being treated like a 'girl' ........ seriously frustrating for me! I was also working for my parents at the time, which didn't help at all. I've looked into going to China a few years ago but due to financial restraints I couldn't go, I can now and I'm planning on leaving Australia in Jan 07 , when I tell my friends and family they ask me when I'm coming back...... my usual reply is I don't know??!!??? I also figure that I don't need to know what I'll do down to a fine point but a general idea is that I'll use my social science degree and TESOL certificate in a 'creative' way (I haven't figured out the creative part yet but I'm getting there).
Like you loads of my friends are settled and some are starting families and it's depressing when your family asks "When are you going to settle down?" so I've done the opposite Smile

totally normal for me. I don't know if this helps at all but yeah I reckon a total life change helps keep you "young" and pumped for life.

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Who's to say there is an "after" to teaching overseas. I've been teaching for 11 years now and I certainly didn't think I'd still be at it 10 years ago. I have no intention of changing careers any time soon either. With the right qualifications and experience, you can make decent money. I am married and have 2 kids, so a family is not something that has to be put on hold while you are abroad.
Take the step, you never know where it will lead you.

Cdaniels · Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 3:24 pm Post subject: Weird Advice

At twenty-seven I had been married a while, semi-settled in a job. I resisted getting a MSW, but was headed in that direction. (There seems to be a fair number of social workers on Dave's!) I was never happy and never made decent money. At 32 I was divorced and unemployed.
My point is that you have plenty of time, do a lot of research, try to forget about what your friends doing. The "then what..." syndrome will hit you in any endeavor that doesn't prioritize money-making.
The only way I know to avoid such doubts about the future is to concentrate on making as much money as possible- and I'm not discounting this a perfectly legitimate goal.

Justin Trullinger · Posted: Thu Feb 23, 2006 6:08 pm Post subject:

Chill. It's perfectly natural to worry a bit about what comes after, but...try to relax.

This is the thing about experiencing a new culture, language, and place. You learn from it. You grow in it. As you do in any endeavour, you gradually become someone you weren't before. How could you possibly know what the person you will become will want to do? How could you imagine what possibilities may open up to you with the things you'll learn?

It doesn't have to be a financial nightmare, or any other kind of a nightmare. But even if it is, you'll learn and grow from it. I've known people who've been a year overseas, and couldn't wait to get back and start "real life." I've known people who after the same year were pretty sure they were never going back. One of the things about learning is that you can never know beforehand what you will learn, or what it will mean to you.

Readiness is all.

Justin

QatarChic · Joined: 06 May 2005 Posts: 445 Location: Qatar

Life's too short for "Then whats...."

Take the plunge and go for it!

tedkarma · Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 8:58 am Post subject:

I have to agree with Gordon. I've been teaching EFL overseas since 1992 - and will not quit until I retire. I love the lifestyle. Sure, it presents some problems - but life presents problems everywhere! That IS life!

AND - I agree with Gordon and Justin that TEFL does not have to be a financial problem - it can be a financial blessing. Personally, I think I have done better overseas than I would have done at home. Of course, I paid my dues in Saudi to feather the nest a bit - but it did wonders for the bank account.

You are still young - try dipping your toes in the water and see if you like it. Most of us LOVE it.

Iam · Joined: 28 Oct 2004 Posts: 43

Total life change?

A year ago I was living in the UK city I'd lived in - hardly ever left in fact - for 40 years, doing the dead end & very stressful job I'd been doing for 21 years, & come to hate.

I was making just enough to service the mortgage on my flat.

Now, I've no flat, but have a Celta, have no glasses (successful laser treatment - might seem like a trivial point, but losing glasses really ain't), have travelled the world (Aus, Singapore, 20 or so European cities in 2 hectic months), done a ton of stuff (sky & scuba diving, quad biking - shudder), petted all sorts of weird animals (hawks, turtles, sharks, couple of elephants, a cheetah), & basically had a hell of a time.

Currently teaching in Barcelona, where I plan to remain, & enjoying it a lot. The future's uncertain, there are odd problems (I'm in the world's worst shared flat - move out in a week, speed the day) but I'm happier than I've been for more years than I care to count.

Yep, pretty total Smile

When did I decide to do this? Can't remember to be honest, emmigrating was something I'd joked about for a few years, I think I just realised one day I was miserable & that my flat was worth more than the mortgage on it.

My advice to the poster is to do it.

You're a lot younger than I am I. Plus, you have a professional qualification that, if you find in a year or so that TEFL is not for you, could get you, I suspect, a fairly well paid job without too much trouble.

Save a bit of money up, & head out.

Iam.

Justin Trullinger · Posted: Fri Feb 24, 2006 4:22 pm Post subject:

Iam- is your flat on calle Carme? If not, it ain't the world's worst shared flat. But keep up the interesting stuff...

Regards,
Justin

Iam · Joined: 28 Oct 2004 Posts: 43

Hi Justin,

Not on Calle Carme, but still maintain it is Worse Flat in the World Smile

Iam.

maw · Joined: 26 Feb 2006 Posts: 38

Theres a saying .... "change is the only constant thing in the Universe" !!!

It becomes easier when we dont resist it, and thankfully its often amazingly fantastic what opens up for us once we take the plunge.
But dont worry i can relate...its always difficult to take those first steps and leave behind the 'security' we can relate to, even if it makes us really unhappy.
Sometimes theres no easy way to do it, but like the others said you just have to put your feet in the water and feel it out...and TRUST that life is to be lived, not feared!!!.....and DONT worry if it doesn't go acoording to plan, it just may turn out better.
And the great thing about ESL teaching, is that you have loads of laughs, and meet a huge range of good people.

Cdaniels

stillnosheep · Joined: 01 Mar 2004 Posts: 2068 Location: eslcafe

Why ask? Or have you just split up with a 27yr old guy from New Jersey and are wondering whether your ex-love is about to fly the coop?

sheeba · Joined: 17 Jun 2004 Posts: 1123

To OP and Racheala ,

Do it ! I was 29 when I left the UK . I was working in an office where people cared more about who was making tea than life's realities . I've learnt that life is for living . I know that sounds cheesy and I used to say that before I left the UK ,whilst my mates and family turned their noses up and told me that I could never do what I was proposing to do . Those were my best mates ! My last 2 years in China have been such a wonderful life experience . Somebody mentioned furthering education and the fact that you see people doing that in your homeland but when you get out here you experience life's education for real .None of my educated friends in the UK have that experience. I met my girlfriend here , love my job and am learning an amazing language here .Can't say I have ever felt happy in England and I thought that what I am now doing was just a dream . It's really not a difficult decision -Get out here!

Calories · Joined: 17 Jun 2005 Posts: 361 Location: Chinese Food Hell

My parents asked me and I said "I'll finish my degree corespondence while teaching in China then move to Japan" so I get "then what?" I say "teach English in Japan" "then what?" "What ever I feel like doing maybe I'll just live on a beach picking pockets for food, then get swept up by a tsunami. IF I don't drown, I'll live in the middle of the ocean as a mermaid, singing disney songs and combing my hair with rusty old forks." Maybe I suffer from youthful sydrome and put too much faith in doing whatever I feel like will get me by but, worrying about such things causes hemmoroids.