Job Discussion Forums

[Sweetsee]

Ever loan a tape, CD or DVD to someone at work, did they give it back?

[Synne]

Hmmm...this is like asking someone if they've ever lost a sock.

[Sweetsee]

Sorry, what I mean is that yesterday I gave a tape to a colleague and said he should watch it that evening and return it tomorrow. Also, a student asked me to ask another student to return her CDs she had leant 2 months ago. I told her to ask him herself and she said she had, repeatedly. She went on to say that people here just don't return things. So, I am just wondering if anyones else has had similar experiences. I want the tape back today but don't know if it is uncool to ask about it. At the same time, I don't want to be waiting forever, for nothing.

[JimDunlop2]

Everyone has different tactics... I DO usually hound people till they return whatever it is they borrowed. (Unless it's money. I usually don't expect to ever get money back).

But here's one good tactic I sometimes use... Just follow the simple flowchart

[Sweetsee]

That's good Jim. But while that would work back home with folks you are accustomed to conversing with, perhaps you could detail a plan to use here. I mean, I am wondering if the tape I gave to mate might have been considered a gift, I don't know if people are in the habit of loaning and borrowing things.

[JimDunlop2]

Perhaps, but I have used that here as well... In fact, it works even better here than back home because people here (unless they are very good friends) will be most reluctant to show you where they live, let alone allow you inside. Being faced with that is often sufficient to get the item returned the very next day... As for being rude? Not really -- if it's a Japanese person, your lack of tact by insisting you come over to pick it up is more than easily excused by the fact that you are a "gaijin" who is not familiar with the nuances of Japanese politeness.

Hey, if we're going to be eternal foreigners.... May as well squeeze any befefits we can out of it!

[Sweetsee]

So true Jim, so true. Guess I should never have leant it in the first place, just trying to be nice. We'll definitely be seeing you Sunday.

[Glenski]

Here's the perfect solution.

Stop lending things to people. Just tell them you don't feel comfortable doing it, or you keep forgetting to bring it, or you have lost it.

Saves you the trouble of hunting them down to get it back.

And, to answer your question directly, yes, SOMETIMES I have had that problem here. But also in my home country, so don't think it's a Japanese problem only.

[Sweetsee]

Well, just hope I get it back before I run into the guy who loaned it to me.
That's the last time I offer somebody something without them asking...dang it.

[shuize]

Maybe it's just a problem having lazy friends. If anything, I find the people I lend things to in Japan are generally much better about returning them.

[Sweetsee]

I think it's just a case of him being shy or something. I asked him just now if he watched it and he apologized and said he hadn't taken a look yet. I told him no worries and that he would surly find some time this weekend and that when he finished with it he could please pass it on to sempai, and I know sempai will return it directly. He's a funny guy; freshman teacher, collects basketball shoes, has a whole pile under his desk, forever gazing at sneakers on the net.

[gaijinalways]

Jim's advice was good. I would also suggest that you don't loan something that you borrowed yourself, as this gets things more complicated when it comes to returning something to the 'real' owner. I would usually have the borrower borrow that item directly from the owner or I (as the intermeidate loaner) would at least get permission from the owner of the item to let someone else borrow it so that you are not blamed for any delay in returning it.

I've had students 'borrow' things as well as teachers, and it really does depend on the person as to your chances of getting something returned. Basically, if you can't afford to lose it, don't lend it !