Job Discussion Forums

[thrifty]

I have always been of the opinion that it is much easier for a foreign man to marry a Turkish woman than for a foreign woman to marry a Turkish man. The reason being that the foreign male does not have to worry about cooking and cleaning to the in-laws' standards and the whole morality thing does not really apply.

Do you all feel the same way or does it depend?

[Baba Alex]

[tekirdag]

As far as in-laws go, mine rock. A gypsy does the cleaning, and mom-in-law does the cooking. I don't have to kiss hands or serve tea. (Thank goodness!) No one, not even aunties or grannies, wear head scarves. Three doctors, 2 architects and one soon to be uni prof in the family so all those educated people give me my yabancı berth.

[sandyhoney2]

[shahrezade1001]

I think that there are difficulties for both sexes of foreigners in romance with Turks. The difficulties for men may come in finding a smaller pool of available women to begin with. It's prohibited by Islam for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, but not for a Muslim man to marry a non-Muslim woman. So, I bet that foreign men (assuming they're not Muslim) would face more opposition to marriage from Turkish families. Of course, many Turks are secularists but over the country as a whole there are lots of religious people too.

I haven't spent enough time in Turkey to talk about ratios, but here is an interesting fact: Among U.S. anthropology students and profs I've met who study and spend time in the Arab world (as I do), a high percentage of the women but almost none of the men are married to locals. On the other hand, the situation is reversed for people who study East Asia. There, many foreign men are married to local women but few foreign women are married to local men.

This was also the case among EFL teachers when I was teaching in Taiwan. I went over in a group of about 25. *None* of the women among us dated local men while most (maybe all) of the men who weren't already in relationships did date local women.

This situation exists in Taiwan, I was told, because Taiwanese families care who men marry. Women are considered unimportant and so allowed to do as they like. In the Arab world, on the other hand, women are seen as submissive and thus in need of protection from the potential negative influence of foreign husbands, while men are thought able to fend for themselves.

Bottom line, as far as I'm concerned: every society in the world is sexist, including my own, the U.S. Are things tougher for women married to Turkish men? Of course they are--not because we're married to Turkish men, but because we're women!!

[thrifty]

"It's prohibited by Islam"

Islam who?

[scot47]

'thrifty' is once again willfully displaying his ignorance.

'Islam' is one of the attributes of the Lord. This unbeliever should watch out. The wrath of the LORD awaits him !

[Frizzie Lizzie]

An interesting topic...
I've got a curiosity re foreign women married to Turkish men: how many of you had to convert to Islam? is it really a "must", or does it depend on the husband and his family?

[tekirdag]

It depends on the husband and family. Turkey is officially secular, after all.

I'm guessing most Turks are quite tolerant of other religions. I haven't heard of many problems here regarding religion and I haven't heard of anyone converting.

How many western women would want to convert and start wearing a headscarf anway? Eeeeeeesh. Must be hot and itchy under one of those things on a summer day !

[thrifty]

Wearing a horrible buttoned up coat in all weathers must be terrible.

Carrying one of those big bags too.

[ikky]

At least it prevents thrifty ogling them ( i think)

[thrifty]

I don't ogle, I leer.

[Golightly]

I married a Turkish woman - didn't convert.

[Sheikh Inal Ovar]

Some 'boys' married to Turkish women also have an image that can't be lived up to ... that of the macho guy who can slit the throat of a bull and flay it without blinking an eye ...

By comparison, we 'boys' are 'bes para etmez' cissies ...

[Baba Alex]