Job Discussion Forums

[EdwardJamesOlmos]

Alright, the search engine for this site is a joke so forgive the (probably) repeat thread.

I was just wondering if those of you who are in Japan for the long haul feel estranged from your families. Do you take extended time off (say, more than a month) to spend time with them every few years? What about those of you with nephews and nieces? Do they look at you as though you were merely an old college friend of their parents, or are you the World's Greatest Aunt/Uncle? And for those of you with elderly or otherwise ailing parents: do you feel pressure to move closer to them so you can visit more often?

[Glenski]

I am a rarity, I think. I have been in Japan eight years without leaving Hokkaido. I stay in touch with friends and family through lots of email, a monthly newsletter that I write (including pictures), and Skype (mostly for video phone chats).

I have no idea what my nieces and nephews think of my time here. It doesn't matter to me anyway. They get Xmas presents, and they get to read about my life and Japanese culture in the newsletters. Their parents tell me that the kids think they have a cool uncle living in a cool situation. Some of these nephews and nieces I have never met; some I have known up to the time that they graduated high school. (Even so, I used to live half a continent away back then, so I only saw them once a year anyway.)

I am independent, and my parents may be aging, but they are not ailing, so I'm happy about that. When I do hear about their ailments, there's little I can do about it, but as I wrote above, when I used to live in the USA, I was too far away to do anything about it anyway. They are happy to hear from me and to stay informed about my life. Same here, vice versa.

[Apsara]

I have been in Japan for 9 years in total now and I usually go home once a year for ten days or so at a time, this year is unusual because I went back in February and will be going again in December, but that is for a wedding. More than 10 days or so back in NZ and I just spend too much money, and since I am freelance I don't have any paid holidays so the costs start to add up. I also find that it's hard to spend a lot of time with family and friends since they are all working even though I am on holiday.

My parents are in their early fifties so no worries about them ailing for a long time hopefully, and I don't have any nephews or nieces.

My great regret is that as I left NZ at the age of 20, before email use was widespread, I have lost touch with the vast majority of my friends from my university days and have just a few friends scattered around the country now.

Generally because of email, online chat and Skype I am always up to date with what my immediate family is up to. Someone asked my mother a couple of years ago if she missed me a lot, and she said it didn't really feel like I was far away, so no, not so much- not sure if that is a good or bad thing...

[Gordon]

I have been in Japan over 4 years now. Every year we go back to Canada for the summer. We have 2 young children and a third almost in the world, so it is especially difficult being far away from family. I have a number of nieces and nephews and my parents are old and not in very good health, so that makes things very trying. I feel torn between being in Japan and spending the last couple of years with my parents, tough choice. Often I wish I wasn't as close to my family as I am.