Job Discussion Forums

[Mchristophermsw]

First I would like to thank Dave and everyone on this forum for being apart of keeping hope alive! (whether you know it or not).

Its Saturday here in Northern California and I have been back in the USA for 2 years. Paying bill, saving, yada, yada, yada......Just finished teaching an anger management class and no Iam overwhelmed, agian, feeling that I need to get out of this place!

Yes, in due time it will happen but today I need to vent, process my feelings and vent some more LOL!

Has anyone ever felt like they just did not "fit" in their own country but yet when living overseas felt that it was so natural, so right (BTW I have lived overseas for several years in on a few continents, so this is not a case of the "grass is greener on the other side") ?

Has anyone ever felt like that A bad day here (wherever here is for you) is better than a good day from where you came from?

Has anyone ever for some uncanny moment ever had that Awhhhh feeling of "I am finally home or this fits? You know that feeling of were your clothes feel a little looser, your walk is little lighter and the simpler things in life become so much more apparent?

a day, a month, a year or two goes by and when everything does not seem so new anymore, it still feels right? You have your run inns with difficult personalities and aspects of the culture maybe you did not understand but yet after everything is said and don---it's still HOME for you. Has anyone ever felt like that?

Some of you may be asking, why did you come back? The answer is I came back to the USA to take care my dying grandmother, she passed almost 1 year ago. Her last dying wish was for me to take care my grandfather. He's 87 with Parkinsons and Dementia. I can't break my promise and in the mean time it gives me a chance to make the proper financial preperations for leaving after he passes.


If anyone can relate or have felt any thing similar please let me hear from you.


IHope to hear from ya and thanks to Dave and everyone else in advance for this website..

Have a blessed day in whatever you all do today and take time to be good to yourselves.

[denise]

Hang in there!

I've just returned to the US after more than 3 years (ok, I did have about a week-long stopover here between Japan and South America), and what I feel more than anything else is boredom!!!

I got so used to having a full schedule of work, hobbies, exercise, meeting with friends, etc. Now I am in job-search mode. I've made trips out to the local unis and community colleges, but it's the middle of the semester now, so I will have to wait until January to get any classes. And I've done a lot of research online for jobs overseas that start in, oh, September... But those activities occupy so little of my time that I am left with hours and hours of NOTHING!!! I just came back from Peru, so let's just say that I didn't return with a whole lot of savings. So going out and doing anything right now just isn't an option. AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! No car, staying with parents until I get my life sorted out, don't know anyone here (they moved out of my beautiful home of California years ago). And "the city" is about a one-hour walk away along the highway.

I'm going to do a lot of housecleaning and walking the dog just to kill some time...

I'm optimistic, though. This is just a temporary phase! Still, while I am stuck going through it, it sucks!

I understand your desire to move on!

d

[Sherri]

I came back to the USA two years ago after living abroad for almost 25 years. All I can say is, I feel relief! It is so wonderful not to be stared at, not to be a foreigner anymore. I love blending in. I am happy to be able to share my culture with my kids. It was just halloween here and my kids had a blast with the build-up and the actual day. That is something I could never re-create for them abroad.

Sherri

[Guy Courchesne]

[Jetgirly]

I'm finding that I don't like living in Canada because our downtowns aren't living places. People go downtown to work or to look at tourist attractions, but not to live. I LOVED living in the city center in Italy! There was so much just outside my front door, from shops to restaurants to museums to parks. Outside my front door in Calgary there is a road leading to the highway. And a bus stop (twenty-five minutes on the bus to get downtown). I'm starting to think I was born on the wrong continent.

[GWUstudent]

I know how you feel. I've been back in the US for a few months now and to be honest, I often question whether returning for grad school was the right move. Not that I don't enjoy school and feel excited about my options once I finish, but not a day goes by that I don't miss my life overseas. I just felt more comfortable abroad...I've lived in a few different countries and always felt at home, especially in Japan. I don't have that feeling in the US.

[White_Elephant]

[JZer]

[kerrilee]

I spent 4 1/2 years overseas (nursing in New Zealand and Canada) before returning to the UK in 2004 - I hated it, never settled, started a new degree to change career, then did a TEFL course and went to Thailand for a bit (was still doing my studies online). Then I got onto an MA course in China (UK uni though) and so have been here working for the past 8 months whilst studying.........still cant get to grips with the fact I may return the the UK, too scary! I am going for 2 months during semester break but then come back to finish my teaching contract.....then who knows what! I lasted 10 months max home last time! And even 1 month of that was doing a TEFL course in Spain!

[saint57]

I joined this forum in March 2003. I spent two years in Asia and never posted a single message here. I often used Dave's for the idea cookbook though. In 2005 I returned home to go to school for a year. I enjoyed hanging with my old friends, but most nights I spent reading and writing on this forum. I made about 660 posts while I was in Canada. I really missed living abroad. I didn't even bother applying for a teaching position in Canada because I knew I would hate it. Here I am back in Asia and I still post on this forum, but I don't have the passion I once had. I'm just happy to be back.

[Mchristophermsw]

WOW, some really great replies....Thanks I dont feel so alone now, ha ha!!





One of things I cherished when I was living overseas was the greater sense of community and family that I experienced. People actually took the time to have relationships, stopping to just say good evening and the slower pace was rejuvinating

Yeah at first it drove me crazy! but man, after you get used to slowing down it is wonderful (in the smaller and meduim sized cities) and the holidays? Geez, in some places it's like theres a holiday every week LOL!

I will admit thought I am kinda scared because I seee myself falling back into the vices that I abandoned. I mean, Iam saving up to 2k per month, have positions with respect but Iam also working like a dog and at the end of the day or week--I still miss that peace that I had overseas.

One of the things I noticed about my family and people that I know here in the SF bay Area is that they have a perception that if your not in America then your going to be stuggling and living destitute. Unfortunately, they don't understand that lower, middle and upper class families are everywere not just in the US. I mean, come on, there is something wrong with the society when your making 80K per year and still 1 or two pay checks from being homeless or loosing your house???

A school principal in Trinidad use to tell me all the time ( in sweet Trini Accent)

"Boy! Michael how much do yuh really need ta be happy man?...
It's the simple things man dat make life sweeda"

I keep those words burned in my heart.

[MikeySaid]

[tedkarma]

The main thing I notice when I return to visit family is the pace of life. They are literally "on the go" all the time and rarely get a chance to just sit and relax and enjoy life.

All human contact seems to be hurried and almost impersonal.

I find the whole thing too stressful nowadays - and can't wait to get back to my quiet life!

[Serious_Fun]

We can never become mono-cultural beings again...even if you have chosen to live in an isolated expat community without much "local" contact, (the pub every night after classes?), you have developed in a different direction than that of your family/friends back in your native place(s). Obviously, if we choose to immerse ourselves a bit then the differences are greater.

For this reason, in my opinion, we can never be totally "at home" again if/when we choose to return to the native place.

This sense is deeper in those of us who also lived overseas as children....and who now live/work overseas as TEFLers!

No doubt you have heard of people like this being referred to as "Third Culture Kids" or "Adult Third Culture Kids".

here is a simple story re: re-entry after living abroad:

http://www.tckworld.com/rndhead/home.html

We should be thrilled that we have been socialized as a result of these overseas adventures. But we are different as a result of it. Returning to the native place will be easier if we choose to reside in a multi-cultural environment. Going back to the rural village would be difficult!


see also:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Third_Culture_Kids

[rusmeister]

Good point, serious.
It's like the hobbits returning to the Shire. The people at home hadn't changed. THEY had. That's what I feel like.