Job Discussion Forums

[naomi]

I'm flying out to Ningbo in a week and I've been reading this discussion forum, there's so much negativity here that it's giving me an anxiety attack.

I'm leaving my life here in London, my friends, my boyfriend, in order to follow a dream i've had for so long of teaching english and seeing China. Now i'm starting to have second thoughts, am panicking and reconsidering getting a dull temp job here.

Please tell me - is it all worth it? If the majority of people on this forum are complaining about their lives, should i really go out there and add myself to the list?

Please help me - either reassure me or tell me not to go!

[Ferne]

Hello Naomi,

who you see and read on this forum is only a teeny tiny fraction of foreigners in China...and hardly representative, although there are basic problematics that just exist and which probably everyone has to deal with (e.g. diarrhea, culture shock, greedy employers etc). BUT I would NOT use this forum as a guide to fullfilling your China dream. The thing with China is that everyone makes his or her own journey. Before I went to China, I had about two weeks to prepare. I read this book and that, just to know a bit about it, but not too much--because you can't really prepare for, or even say what you will encounter. Those books were written by others, and although they gave me interesting and helpful insights, they didn't tell me: this is how it's going to be for you. I really had a tough time in China, mostly because I had to move from one place to another because I ended up with the wrong employers and thus never was able to just get settled. And I am not telling anyone it will be easy. But it will definitely be worth it. I am sooo damn glad I went to China, it was worth it just for the water buffalo, some of the people I met, the crazy taxi rides and the food once I got used to it. And it was definitely good for my ego, a very humbling and empowering experience. I had my share of tears and my share of laughs--that's life. You live, you learn ) The strange thing is that I would go back anytime, just not as a teacher...this whole teaching deal is definitely for some people only. You need to find out for yourself...that is my piece of advice. Nobody else can. And I definitely always promote realising dreams!!

I also don't think you will find many people on this board who will tell you not to go...otherwise, they'd better explain why they are still there Just be cautious and alert, use common sense where you can (which is sometimes hard when you are intimidated by being the foreigner and having no idea what is going on)...and enjoy the ride.

Good luck,

Ferne

[Julia Girl]

Naomi-
I've been travelling in China for a couple months at a time, however this is my first time signing a year long contract to actually work there.
I think that you'd love it in China. It's weird, it's fun (sometime funny), stressful and all the things people complain about, but if you'll notice, people just love to complain. It almost a sport here at Dave's. Also, not being able to speak and read Chinese fluently makes this a haven for all english speakers and a place to whine in private (well, this is a public forum, but I don't get the impression people on Dave's are having lunch together everyday). If people are complaining this much/often and it was seriously horrible, they would just get up one day and fly back home. It isn't horible, you'll love it. If you don't go you will have a little voice in the back of your head wishing you had. That temp job back in London will always be there, but after you start having kids and marrying the boyfriend, China won't be.
Seriously, if you have an interest in China, I encourage you to stick it out. I've been to quite a few places but nothing is as interesting as China.
I am also leaving a quasi-boyfriend, very sick father, graduate school acceptance and excellent income prospects for this. I am getting the nervous bug too, but it has settled a bit thanks to the people here at Dave's. Look up my "Nervous" rant on the China board (off topic I think), people have some nice things to say.
So you will be leaving in a week? Me too. 2 of my girlfriends and I will be in Kunming in about a week or so after touring Shanghai. I don't know where Ningbo is (and at the moment I'm too lazy to open another webpage and look at a map ), but I'll be in Kunming, and since you are also a female, you are welcome to come stay at my apt. on campus during my monthly vacation if you'd like to see the sights (I have an extra bedroom). I have yet to see Kunming first hand, but everyone here seems to think it's a great place to be. Go. GO GO GO!!!!!! If you hate it, you'll find a way out. But if you love it, like Miss Molly said, it may be hard to leave! I am very interested in the female expat experience in China. You hear fewer complants from females since their modivations for coming to China often differ from that of our male counterparts (No offense guys, really!). I wish you the best!

[Steiner]

Naomi,
Definitely come. Yeah, there are a lot of complaints. Usually people don't feel like posting about the three classes they had that day that went really smoothly, and the nice time they had in town with their friends, and the nice meal they ate, and the polite cab driver. And usually other people don't want to read about that because, unless the author took a while to write really well, it's not nearly as interesting as reading about the one kid Sunaru had to put in a headlock or the one group of guys that laughed at Chinasyndrome (okay, every group of guys laughs at Chinasyndrome) or the cabbie that MTN had to kick in the groin.

The bad stuff just makes for better stories. Lots of us use this board to vent. We also use it to get advice about problems we encounter. All the stuff that isn't problematic doesn't need posting. We read to know we are not alone (is that from Dead Poet's Society?) My wife and I are the only foreigners in our county of 1.2 million people, so when others can echo our frustrations and say yeah, that annoys me too, it makes us feel less alone and abnormal.

But the good stuff is why we stay and why those in exile can't wait to get back. It really does outweigh the bad even though we don't write about it as much.

You've gotta come. I've heard it said about India, but I'll apply it here: China will either be a great experience or a great story. For me it's a great experience that also provides some great stories.

[greentea]

Naomi,

I can only echo the messages above.

Check your "private messages" for some extra info.

All the best !

[nanxi]

deleted

[chinasyndrome]

Hi Naomi, and thanks Stein. Being nervous comes before any big change for most of us, but usually it's not a good enough reason not to do something. China will test you in ways you can't imagine and if you're lucky it will give you key insights into who you really are. Even with all the rants, flames, multiple personalities, bad advice, even worse hairstyles (Sunaru and Steiner), there are good things happening here in China and even on this forum.

And on that forum note...

Bear in mind that what you see posted here is only the most visible part of our interactions with each other. PMs, emails, visits and real friendships can and do spring up, and they add another dimension to life here. Things you don't want to go public with can still be shared and discussed. So come on over, otherwise you'll probably get anxious about what you missed.

I think maybe one of the keys to survival here or anywhere is to know your 'use by' date. People like Roger (10 years and counting) seem to thrive here while others can't get past the first 6 months. Keep your plan as flexible as you can. I came for 6 months, more than 2.5 years ago. I thought it would be something between 6 months and 5 years. Now, half way through, I know where the 'use by' date is and also have a much clearer idea of what I want and don't want to do with the rest of my time here.

Come on!

[chelsea]

naomi -

i wasn't teaching english, but recently lived in a rural part of china for several months, in an artist in residency program. i absolutely loved it. i had the chance to do a bit of traveling and loved that as well. i met some wonderful people there, and some how formed friendships even though my mandarin was awful.
i did meet quite a few english teachers while i was in shanghai, they were all very happy there, had been there several years, and had some interesting, crazy stories to tell.

i think you should go for it

[NumberOneSon]

[MissMolly]

Naomi,
Come, come, come. You will be glad you did. Your life in China will be more different and rewarding than you can possibly imagine. Yeah, we grip quite a bit here, but it doesn't mean we hate it. I love it! I'm getting ready to return to the US, and starting to get really sad.
There will be a difficult transition period. But, if you stick it out, you will have your horizons broadened, big time.
Do it. It'll be great.
Molly

[Wolf]

Perhaps I am not the best person to advise, as I had a difficult time adjusting. However, there are aspects of life here that are better than anything else that I have experienced so far.

What really and truly keeps me going from day to day is how teachable
my students are, and how helpful people can be. I often mean to post about these things here, but it would make for poor reading. The causes behind the content of this forum have already been outlined above. Like JRR Tolkien said (and I paraphrase): Reading about hardships is far more interesting than reading about the good times.

I left everything behind as well, and I haven't seen it since. Coming to China I was afraid as well. I had little money, I was unemployed, and I had no one to turn to who could offer good advice. But teaching here was my best chance at a job before my money ran out, and so I took it, and in spite of everything I am glad for the chance that I had to come here.

Don't let us put you off. I don't know how expats react to each other "off line" but I have met a few here - and even the ones that were going home never to return didn't regret their time here.

You'll learn far too much about life and yourself to even considering giving up.

I can sometimes be one of the darker voices in the dark, and I hope this helps atone and give a more balanced and realistic veiw of what you can expect.

[naomi]

Thanks for all the support. That does make me feel better...

It's not that I'm not a strong person - I've travelled and worked in countries on my own before... it's just last minute nerves, coupled with the fact that London has never been so beautiful at the moment - we've had gorgeous hot weather, I've just made a lot of new friends, I've never got on so well with my boyfriend - then again these last 2 things are possibly only because I've been so happy and excited about going to China. I have to remind myself that London isn't usually like this!

I am looking forward to it, I'll be fine once i get out there...

[Cobra]

That's what you think!

[naomi]

Ok then, I'm not looking forward to it, and i'm going to be miserable there.

[Roger]

It is going to be as good as you will make it - the Chinese will ruin only some of your fun!
BUt it is your job to see to it that they don't ruin all of your fun!