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[IvanGrozny]

You realize that you know more than 50 girls named Olga.

You have a checklist of names you have not yet dated, ie; hmmm, I haven't dated a Ludmila yet.

You can tell a persons economic class by looking at their shoes.

You judge an apartment by the quality of the parquet floor. (I have a hunch that these floors were a way of using all the short little pieces of wood that collected rather than any real form of artistic expression)

You have a sudden urge to drink the juice from a jar of pickles.

You actually want to eat salo rather than just being polite and eating it when it is ceremoniously offered. (salo is raw salted pork fat for those that have missed the pleasure)

You consider getting a gold crown in a front tooth for that striking Russki smile.

You have traveled to a different part of the city to exchange money because that exchange offers 10 kopeks more on the dollar/euro.

You have actually eaten one of those ugly dried fish sold in the kiosks as a nice snack to go with beer.

You have installed a ringtone from a russian pop song on your mobile as seen on TV.

You like the songs of Alla Pugechova and find yourself singing along with all the other people in the cafe.

When you think of salad it has nothing to do with lettuce.

You have stopped giving your seat up to the babushka

You have become comfortable addressing people as "deovoshka" or "babushka"

Paying a cop a "fine" seems like a perfectly normal thing to do.

You no longer have periodic hankerings for chocolate chip cookies.

You understand what the hell "vot tak" means.

You no longer travel with a suitcase but instead make short trips with a plastic bag of your belongings and longer trips with those colorful feedbag suitcases.

You don't think it absurd to pay first and then pick up your items from several different counters. And if you can remember it all with out writing it down you are in real trouble, return home now before it is too late.

There's more but it's a start, feel free to add your own to the list

[jpvanderwerf2001]

Oh man. That's comedy. If I may add a couple more...

You no longer feel indignant when your date gets up and walks away from your dinner date without even offering to help pay the tab.

Gashes in the roads, the size of Datsuns, no longer faze you.

Completely drunk people, anywhere and at any time of the day, don't even get a second look.

You no longer notice the reek of alcohol (anywhere and at any time).

You no longer notice the reek of urine (anywhere and at any time).

The fact that the toilet seat is laden with urine no longer gives pause.

Entering any public restroom no longer makes you nauseated.

Geez, there're a million more. I'd better stop before I get depressed...

[expatella_girl]

You don't see anything unusual about feeding vodka to zoo elephants in the winter.

You think orange is a natural hair color.

You assume cars will speed up and aim at you while you're crossing the street.

You think Porta Potties are a godsend.

Large packs of roaming dogs seem like a natural condition.

You wouldn't dream of buying a pair of boots that aren't fur-lined.

You expect it to get dark right after lunch.

You pass by totally unconcerned when trash cans are on fire.

You elbow people aside and growl while standing in line.

[maruss]

You no longer feel ashamed of the grime and inequality around you

You stop caring about the roll-back of virtually all the media freedoms you take for granted elsewhere....

You start thinking that Putin is maybe doing a great job and is a decent guy!You even start believing that the Soviet Union was a great institution!

You don't mind buying and eating dodgy food,as well as ice-cream from kiosks and then eating it standing around outside, even if it's minus 30!

You don't mind being squashed into decrepid 'marshrut' mini-buses with drivers from hell and risking your life every day-AND-playing the 'conductor' for free by passing them all the other peoples fares!

You accept the hype that your $750 per month from BKC,LL etc. is really a decent wage and believe you made a good move by coming to Moscow

In other words,as one of my friends there said' you become like a fly on s***' and think everything around you is'normal' or even nice!

[IvanGrozny]

toilet seat, you found a public restroom with a toilet seat?
orange is a natural hair color, that's funny!!

ok a few more;

Seeing 2 girls holding hands doesn't make you automatically assume they are lesbians.

Seeing a girl touching her *beep* in public no longer seems odd.

You begin to think that a beer a 8 am on the street is not a sign of alchoholism but rather just a good morning ritual.

Prostitutes no longer approach you (omg do I really look that russian, or that poor)

You've decided that traveling 3rd class is much more fun.

A manager making a customer wait while they talk to an employee seems normal.

Russia seems too easy and you think you should go to Kygistan in hopes of more excitement.

buying the DVD a month before the film is in theaters in the US strikes you as just a part of the natural order of the universe.

You complain that the Metro is now 12 rubles, and can't imagine paying 2 dollars for the subway in NY. (it is 12 pyb now isn't it?)

(for those in Piter) You hate going anywhere where there are German or Finnish tourists as they seem rude even by Russian standards.

You are on a first name basis with the woman you buy your orange from on your way to the Metro station.

Hot dogs and rice for breakfast starts to sound good.

You have figured out how to drink tea from those plastic cups without scalding your hand.

You wonder why they don't shut off the hot water for a month back home.

Russian tourist ask you for directions, and you can tell what they want to know.

OK enough again.
I am getting on a plane for St Petersburg tomorrow and I don't want to talk myself out of it.
And I screwed up my visa, I am supposed to arrive on the 14th and my visa becomes valid on the 15th. Oh is this going to be fun.
what do you think;
1. Plead with Finnair to let me fly from Helsinki the next day without paying more than I did for the whole ticket for NY-St Petersburg.
2. Consign myself to taking a bus from Helsinki and crossing the border after midnight.
3. Get really drunk in the 1 hour layover and have Finnair refuse to let me fly that day but they will let me the next day.
4. Just go and spend 12 hours in the duty free area of Pulkovo until my visa becomes valid.
5. Take the ferry to Tallin and spend the day there before taking the train to Piter.
6. Request political assylum.

This is going to be an adventure! Wish me luck!

[expatella_girl]

Combine 2 and 3. Get drunk on the bus.

[jonniboy]

LOL. Ok some wonders from Riga (well it is 50% Russian)...

Food without heaps of sour cream doesn't taste the same...

75 year old men?! Do people really live that long?

Someone smiles and thanks you in a shop back in your motherland and you think them eccentric

You smile ironically when your British friends complain about the cold weather when it's 5 degrees outside

You sheepishly go inside after the glass of water you threw in the air doesn't freeze like you saw on the news report

You order a triple vodka back home and complain that they've only given you a half measure

Global warming? Great idea! Bring it on!

You'd like to chill your vodka but the 10 bags of pelmeni are taking up all the space in the freezer.

[mandivided]

You believe that clubbing women over the head and dragging them home by the hair is completey acceptable as well as a necessary part of the courting process.

You become bored to learn that the FSB has broken into your apartment (again), in order to tie a knot in your shower curtain and re-arrange your CD collection, which you have kept in chronological order due to lost weekends spent at 'Gorbushka' Rynok, Moscow c. 2000-2003.

[Miyazaki]