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dmb
Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397
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 Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 11:51 am Post subject: Wha's like us? |
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Stumbled across this. I first read this over 20 years ago. I thought I'd share my nostalgia with you. my advanced class later on today are getting it too 
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The average Englishman in the home he call his castle slips into his national costume, a shabby raincoat, patented by Chemist Charles Macintosh from Glasgow, Scotland.
En-route to his office he strides along the English lane, surfaced by John Macadam of Ayr, Scotland.
He drives an English car fitted with tyres invented by John Boyd Dunlop, Veterinary Surgeon of Dreghorn, Scotland.
At the office he receives the mail bearing adhesive stamps invented by John Chalmers, Bookseller and Printer of Dundee, Scotland.
During the day he uses the telephone invented by Alexander Graham Bell, born in Edinburgh, Scotland. At home in the evening his daughter pedals her bicycle invented by Kirkpatrick Macmillan, Blacksmith of Thornhill, Dumfriesshire, Scotland.
He watches the news on television, an invention of John Logie Baird of Helensburgh, Scotland, and hears an item about the U.S. Navy founded by John Paul Jones of Kirkbean, Scotland.
Nowhere can an Englishman turn to escape the ingenuity of the Scots.
He has by now been reminded too much of Scotland and in desperation he picks up the Bible, only to find that the first man mentioned in the good book is a Scot, King James VI, who authorized its translation.
He could take to drink but the Scots make the best in the world.
He could take a rifle and end it all, but the breech-loading rifle was invented by Captain Patrick Ferguson of Pitfours, Scotland.
If he escaped death, he could find himself on an operating table injected with penicillin, discovered by Sir Alexander Fleming of Darvel, Scotland, and given chloroform, an anesthetic discovered by Sir James Young Simpson, Obstetrician and Gynecologist of Bathgate, Scotland.
Out of the anesthetic he would find no comfort in learning that he was as safe as the Bank of England founded by William Paterson of Dumfries, Scotland.
Perhaps his only remaining hope would be to get a transfusion of guid Scottish blood which would entitle him to ask:
"Wha's Like Us?"
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justme
Joined: 18 May 2004
Posts: 1944
Location: Istanbul
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 2:40 pm Post subject: |
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DMB, think the advanced class will be able able to find an article that says all that stuff came from Turkey first?  |
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dmb
Joined: 12 Feb 2003
Posts: 8397
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 2:50 pm Post subject: |
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Funny you mention that justme. Of course we all know that Scotland is the home of Golf. However, there was an article in Hurriyet, I think, a couple of days ago. It was about Santa Claus. Obviously he is from down Antalya way the old Bishop, St. Nick from Demre(?) He had an Orange farm and he used branches from the Orange tree to hit oranges into holes in the orange trees. therefore Turkey is the home of golf.  |
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yaramaz
Joined: 05 Mar 2003
Posts: 2384
Location: Not where I was before
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:54 pm Post subject: |
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| Did he use elves as caddies? |
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Sheikh Inal Ovar
Joined: 04 Dec 2005
Posts: 1208
Location: Melo Drama School
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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| Of course not ... they're far too short ... he used them as tees ... |
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Golightly
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 877
Location: in the bar, next to the raki
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 7:21 pm Post subject: |
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| dmb wrote: |
| Obviously he is from down Antalya way the old Bishop, St. Nick from Demre(?) |
Nicholas of Patara. |
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FGT
Joined: 14 Sep 2003
Posts: 762
Location: Turkey
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| Posted: Thu Dec 28, 2006 9:07 pm Post subject: |
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| Born in Patara, bishop of Myra/Demre. |
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Golightly
Joined: 08 Feb 2005
Posts: 877
Location: in the bar, next to the raki
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