Job Discussion Forums

[jamesmollo]

The legalities of 'living in sin' has come up quite a bit around here. With people of different views/opinions on the subject. So from what I've read from posters it seems, the general concensus is (at least in jiang su) it's not illegal to live with a member of the opposite sex, out of wed-lock.

I inquired here about 'changzhou' (thanks so much for the replies everyone) which is one of the placements the agency i'm dealing with, offered. This may well be because of my requirements. That is I told them my long-term girlfriend(2 years) and I are married and that we require accomodation off-campus.

Now, they got back to me today saying 'this may be a problem' (which could be a blessing in disguise given the comments about this city) and that they are looking for another school that would better fit our needs.

When I was interviewed by the canadian HR manager, I did state this as a requirement, mind you, I said we are married. He didn't ask for proof.

We plan to get married in the near future, just not right now. And certainly not because someone thinks it's immoral, I for one, do not.

Has anyone been in this predictament? I understand some of you are happily married to chinese woman. Did you have to supply the marraige certificate at your school or do you live in private apartments?
My girlfriend, and many other chinese friends have said just make a fake one. I don't really feel comfortable about that. Especially considering there's nothing wrong with it, in my view and apparently the eyes of the law. Any advice, suggestions?
The agency deals with government high schools. Of which few provide private housing. This is not to say we want our privacy because we feel we are dong anything wrong. I've lived at my current school the past 8 months and it's driving me crazy, the noise for one. I like to be able to finish my days work and go home and relax!
The FAO here had asked for the marraige license as we don't have one I've been alone here for most of that time
Anyway It will soon be over. I would really appreciate any advice.
Thanks

[tw]

[jamesmollo]

Thanks tw. I wondering if the problem is, the school in changzhou wants a single FT. Maybe something to do with utilities, one body instead of two less overheads perhaps?.

[danswayne]

I am married and have been for six years now and am still upset when I never get the chance to show off our marriage book because the hotel doesn't seem to care. Of course if you have my luck the only time you will need to show it is when you really need to stay somewhere. If it makes you feel any better my waiban is living with her "boyfriend", just not sure if I could do the same with my girlfriend openly if she wasn't also my wife.

[Mydnight]

If you want to cohabitate, do it. If anyone asks, lie and say you are married. It would be a slim chance anyone would ask.

[tofuman]

James,

You have a very narrow view of immorality. It involves much more than sexual practices. Lying is also immoral. So in order to cover up what one person sees as immoral (living together out of wedlock), you do something that others also consider immoral (lie).

I suppose that you are also lying to yourself and to your gf as to your intentions. If you really were interested in marrying her, you would do it in order to prevent the difficulties regarding your living arrangements.

People here do live together out of wedlock. People here also lie, cheat, and allow their children to defecate in the streets and various other places.

Matters of the heart are extremely complicated affairs. Good luck!

People here constantly ask me about my marital status. I would have to lie continually in order to function in this society if I was living with someone to whom I was not married. And I consider lying worse than "fornicating."

Also remember the double standard when foreigners are involved. While a Chinese girl might live with a Chinese guy to whom she is not married, I suppose that for her to do the same with a foreigner would brand her in a decidedly different way, in the eyes of other Chinese.

To become legally bound to a Chinese is a risky and possibly very complicated situation. Just check with some posters here who have tried to divorce a Chinese spouse. On the other hand, to play marriage with a girl to whom you are not married is injurious to her psyche and to your own.

[OGFT]

As common law is "kosher" in china, it is not a lie.

[Mr. Kalgukshi]

Two inappropriate postings have been deleted. Please stay on topic.

[Steppenwolf]

The rationale - as I see it - for China to maintain a married-status proof for those who want to live together comes from China's need to control its rampant population growth. If men and women live together and produce offspring that cannot be registered then the population growth gets completely out of hand.

In many parts of China the authorities are pretty uptight. My former HK girlfriend was not allowed to live with me in my college apartment. That was before HK returned to China... ...and in spite of the fact that backpackers with their partners could normally rent a guestroom in a hotel together.

Recently a riot broke out in Guangxi (Bohai town), over enforced birth control measures to stop rural citizens from having more than one child per family. The local authority was called by its superiors to force everyone to undergo a medical checkup - failing to attend which would result in a fine of 1000 yuan. The enraged peasantry went on a rampage... I don't know the latest toll of hospitalised victims.

[Babala]

James,
When I was job searching in Changzhou awhile back, I just told the schools where I was looking that I was married as my boyfriend and I lived together. They never questioned it. Many schools are very strict about it, even when both parties are foreigners. I have never known a school to ask for proof.

[eslstudies]

[jamesmollo]

Sorry, I don't know what you're getting at there Mr esl studies.
"Poor woman, sorry can't resist?"

[eslstudies]

Well, "you" in this case seems to be plural, as in "some of you". "Woman" is definitely singular.
Take it from there.

[jamesmollo]

Yeah I get it.

And I certainly appreciate you and everyone else sharing there experiences.
peace

[jamesmollo]

their experiences