Job Discussion Forums

MoggIntellect · Joined: 04 Apr 2003 Posts: 173 Location: Chengdu, P.R.China

Hi. I was wondering if anyone out there is married and working abroad in this field? I would also like to know if anyone is married and living apart from his/her spouse, and what you can say about it?

But more importantly, I would like to know what the people who are hiring want to see on a CV? Do you mention your marital status? Does it matter? Will you have more or less chance at a job with a ball n chain? Wink

Feedback would be nice.

Wolf · Joined: 10 May 2003 Posts: 1245 Location: Middle Earth

In China some schools prefer to take couples. I hear it's similar in South Korea. A couple represents a more stable group than a single drifter. In Japan it's not frowned on either (although rarely sought as of last year). However, it's the best way (fast becoming the only way) to save money there. Live on one spouse's salry and put the other salry towards . . . whatever it is (loans, house, mortgage, credit card debt whatever.)

Mentioning it on a CV/application? If I were you (two) I'd just apply jointly to wherever - but I have no experience in this matter. Married people, stop arguing and help this guy/gal! Wink

Kids is a whole other ballgame. Check the more ancient threads.

MoggIntellect · Joined: 04 Apr 2003 Posts: 173 Location: Chengdu, P.R.China

I'm afraid you misunderstand. My wife has nothing to do with ESL. I would be over there alone, if and when I obtaina position. So I was wondering, quite frankly, what the implications are, both personally and professionally.

Lucy Snow · Joined: 16 Jan 2003 Posts: 218 Location: US

As to its personal implicatons, really only you and your wife can decide that. Are you both fairly independent people? Can you trust each other? How long is the projected separation? If she joins you, what will she do while you're teaching ESL?

Professionally, it's hard to tell. My husband and I are both teachers, and we generally apply for positions at the same school, or at least in the same city. We've just been hired for jobs at the same college in Poland, and it seemed that the school liked the fact that we were married.

In Japan, when we arrived we weren't married. The only difference our subsequent marriage made was we were finally invited to his department head's home for dinner. Oh, and the ladies in the office would ask when we were going to start having children.

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

I had the same question when I was applying for jobs too. I am married with a young child (wife is not in EFL but has the toughest job) and now we are living in Japan. With that said, I was always up front about my family. Can't really hide them anyway and wouldn't want to. If the school didn't want the extra complication of my dependents, then screw them, I wouldn't want to work for them anyways. I'm now working at a uni and am the first foreigner they've hired who had a family. I think they are happy they hired me, despite the extra costs for them(airfare and family allowance), and I try not to inconvenience them too much with my family. Besides, I'd like them to hire another teacher who has a family. Very Happy

Tell them the truth, they will find out eventually and could be upset because you were untruthful. I would be if I was them. Sure some schools will close their doors, but there many who like the stability of a family as a previous poster said. I am so glad I have a family here, it would be so lonely and boring otherwise.

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

scot47 · Joined: 10 Jan 2003 Posts: 15343

Long distance relationships are not easy. Every couple is different but the problems and dangers are pretty clear. How would you cope when you discovered that your partner was involved with someone else ? Can you handle adultery or cuckoldry ?

Gordon · Joined: 28 Jan 2003 Posts: 5309 Location: Japan

Sorry I misunderstood you earlier, your family isn't coming who you. Why not? It is a lot of fun being overseas together. Like I said before, tell your employers up front. The fact that you are married adds a new dimension to who they are hiring. At home, it isn't any of their business, but it is when they are sponsoring your visa.

Roger · Joined: 19 Jan 2003 Posts: 9138

Forgive me if I am misinterpreting you, but you present your case in rather ambiguous terms...
If your intention is to maintain your married status at home while two-timing abroad, note that in China you could get burnt for this.
Schools generally frown on relationships between unmarried partners, the more so if they find out you hid from them the mention of your marriage.
It can easily cost you your visa, job and a lot of money, not to mention your face!

cheryl · Joined: 01 Apr 2003 Posts: 119 Location: Japan

MoggIntellect,

I'm not quite in your situation but not far from it. I just got to Japan a little over a month ago and left my fiancee behind in Canada. I don't know about how employers look upon the "single or not" issue but i can share my experience with you.

I think Lucy was dead on when she asked...

MoggIntellect · Joined: 04 Apr 2003 Posts: 173 Location: Chengdu, P.R.China

Glenski · Joined: 15 Jan 2003 Posts: 12844 Location: Hokkaido, JAPAN

shmooj · Joined: 11 Sep 2003 Posts: 1758 Location: Seoul, ROK

Browsing through some job ads for the British Council recently I noticed in the small print that they admitted finding it hard in some countries to get visas for people who were "living together" as it were and not married.

There may also be implications for places like Saudi where you get allowances for accompanying spouses and they expect them to be married and not simply partners or common law spouses. I can image you getting into a bit of trouble there.

Generally though I couldn't manage abroad without my wife. She is like bringing my home with me. Without her I would probably immerse myself in work and not know when to get a life. She keeps me sane (somewhat) and with her I can share all the joys and sorrows of life in a foreign culture.

I went to work in India for six months single and, when we got married, I told her she just had to come to India or she'd never understand me. We went and worked for six months together and it was so precious to share it. I can't imagine what a gulf there would have been between us if I had gone through it all and she had been sitting in a suburb in Scotland or somewhere. Doesn't bear thinking about Sad

So, I personally feel that doing the EFL thing with a spouse adds a lot of zest and excitement to your marriage and means, if and when you ever have to go home, you can have your own private chuckle about times past and how wierd home really is when all around you are boring old farts who've never been further from home than the supermarket. Wink

MoggIntellect · Joined: 04 Apr 2003 Posts: 173 Location: Chengdu, P.R.China

MELEE · Posted: Fri Sep 12, 2003 6:35 pm Post subject:

I must say that as somone who hires teachers, I'd be warry of a married person not bringing their spouce. If it said on your resume, married, then in the interview, I would ask what your spouce would do here, as we're in a small town without of lot of social options. Then if you said, that she was not comming with you, I'd jump to one or two conculsions and maybe wonder about your stability, this is not to say that I wouldn't hire you if you were an otherwise strong candidate, but I'd expect you to otherwise convince me 1) that you'd stay at least a year and 2) that you're not emotionally unstable (I might assume you are going through a break up). We've had sevel married teachers, only one has not brought his/her spouce and ended up leaving early because of it.

Best of luck,