Job Discussion Forums

[11:59]

61. Why are there so many instances of tautology in Hong Kong, especially displayed on signs? Indeed, it is somewhat rare to see a sign that is not ridiculously tautologous. I was in Macafe to grab a quick 'coffee' just the other day (read, 'mud topped with some dandruff') and the sheet of paper they place on top of the tray had a paragraph which reads: 'Our beef is made from 100% beef'. First, is beef really 'made from' anything (apart from proteins, amino acids, and atoms, etc.)? Is it possible for beef not to be 'made from' beef? And what do they mean by 'make' in this context? Is this a euphemism for 'slaughter' and 'serve'? In other words, 'The cows we cull by the millions give us beef and this beef which we serve is beef'. And how do they expect anyone to believe their nonsensical propaganda anyway? I am a strict vegetarian and have been for some decades but even I am fully aware that a slab of beef the size of a sirloin steak would set you back a tad more than $10 HK. And, returning to tautology, down at the Avenue of 'Stars' there is a sign which communicates the following to those wishing to go fishing: 'For safety, use fishing devices carefully'. Now, how does this overly tautologous statement differ from saying 'For safety, use fishing devices safely', or, to take it just one small step further, how does it differ from saying 'For safety, be safe', or, further still, 'To be safe, be safe'?

62. Why do so many Hong Kongers engage in what is quite clearly Orwellian Doublethink? On the one hand they insist on striving to save each and every cent (to the extent of going to Sham Shui Po to purchase toilet rolls), yet, on the other hand, they think nothing of simultaneously bemoaning the flat, inert, depressed economy. Are they really so incapable of seeing this contradiction for themselves, or are they so spaced out they are blind to it? On the point of being space cadets it is worth remembering that the territory of HK arguably owes its very existence to mind altering substances (The Opium Wars and related trade and spin-offs). Has this hallucinogenic drug somehow worked its way into the gene pool of the HK Chinese through the generations? Have the HK Chinese somehow assimilated it, perhaps in a process similar to the Baldwin Effect?

63. Why is there so little � if any � rebellion? Where are the kids with dyed hair bombing around town on scooters and motorbikes (as one witnesses in both urban and rural Japan)? Where are the kids hiding behind the bike sheds having a snog and/or a quick smoke (as is fairly prevalent for example in the UK and the US)? Where are the kids at the bus stops downing a can of beer in one (as is quite normal in Finland and Sweden)? I have spoken with many social workers here (particularly in-house, school social workers) and the worst instance of (what they term) 'rebellion' they can ever cite is a teenager failing to complete their homework on time, or allowing the hemline of their dress (read, 'smock') to rise above their ankle. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not asking for kids to go out and start acting in a loutish manner, smashing shop windows, and mugging people, but it is interesting that they do not seem to ever go through any of the stages, let alone rites of passage, which appear to be quite normal and predictable in other states with developed economies in the First World. And, furthermore, why don't any of the teenagers here ever do anything on their own? Why is everything they do with their mummy and/or daddy? I have never heard of a HK Chinese teenager travelling around Europe with a rucksack in the summer in the same way a huge number of Europeans backpack around Asia. Indeed, I have never even heard of a HK Chinese teenager travelling around Asia (or even Hong Kong).

64. Why is so much of Hong Kong � especially Kowloon � so downright smelly and rancid? And what is that persistent sub-faecal stench that emanates from so many congested areas anyway? Is it untreated sewage wafting up from the drains? Is it the pig innards and other assorted animal organs which can be seen hanging on hooks in restaurant windows and/or bubbling away in a pot? Or is it a confluence of the two (perhaps innards stuck in the drains)? On this point it is telling that the territory of HK was originally landed at by none other than Captain Belcher (!) of HMS Sulphur! Did they realise at the time that this was nothing short of prophetic?

65. Why do so many Hong Kongers act in such an arrogant manner in crowded areas? Why � and how, without the slightest hint of shame or embarrassment � can they charge around blind corners, often without looking where they are going, with such overt confidence? The present writer can even claim to have seen one particularly obnoxious and arrogant HK Chinese 'lady' (read, 'woman' or, even more accurately, 'female') quite literally sprint around a corner in downtown Mong Kok on a Friday at 9pm with a baby in her arms held out in front of her. In short, she was attempting to use the infant as a bargaining chip and/or actual armour. The obvious message was something akin to 'You better get out of my way or the toddler might get hurt, and you don't want that on your conscience, do you?' In that way her outward behaviour (and utter lack of dignity and absence of even basic human values) is reminiscent of the scene in the film Blazing Saddles when Cleavon Little (the coloured sheriff) puts a pistol to his own temple and says 'Don't move or the n_igger gets it'. The woman I saw in Mong Kok behaving in this outrageous fashion seemed most perturbed that I didn't instantly get out of her way. She also seemed remarkably surprised that there were even other human beings in the general vicinity. What? Other people on the streets of Mong Kok at 9pm on Friday! God forbid! My word! Wonders will never cease! Would you Adam and Eve it! Your average (i.e., arrogant) Hong Konger is also particularly prone to � and fond of � opening taxi doors without looking to see if it will strike anyone who happens to be passing on the pavement, and it is quite rare to see someone look out onto a street before walking out of a shop doorway.

66. Staying for the moment with the outrageously boorish, self-centred, and essentially psychotic behaviour evinced on the part of the HK Chinese in the two points above, why do so many Hong Kongers insist on walking along a street without looking where they are going? Now, I am fully aware that people complain about this kind of behaviour in most if not all countries and societies in the world (especially when it comes to women out shopping for accessories and what-have-you), but there is no denying that in HK this form of arrogance is vastly more pronounced and wide-spread. Indeed, it appears to be the default behaviour. It is not qualitatively different, but it is quantitatively different, and to a degree which is quite striking. And why, pray tell, do so many people get out of the way of such people? I saw one HK Chinese female walk the entire length of Park Lane (where Jordan borders on and blends into Tsim Sha Tsui) without once even so much as attempting to check that there were no obstacles or hazards in her path (such as for example delivery pallets with razor sharp edges, or missing manhole covers). Everyone just simply got out of her way thereby giving her a free passage through the crowd. It was rather like witnessing that the most famous of Biblical scenes, Moses parting the Red Sea.

67. Why, when one has the need to raise a complaint about something (quality of service or early demise of a product, etc.), is one invariably told that they are 'the first to complain'? Even if this were true (and I doubt if it truly is) how on Earth is it at all relevant? What, exactly, is the critical mass of complaints that needs to be achieved before a complaint becomes valid? How may people have to complain? Is it 10, 20, 30? If so, why? If not, why not? Why not 9 or 11, 19 or 21, 29 or 31?

68. Why does your average Hong Konger seemingly insist on dedicating so much cognitive effort towards making their native tongue � Cantonese � as headache-inducing as humanly possible? Now, in terms of phonology and prosody, English is commonly regarded as being a stress-timed language (each and every lexical item has a syllable which receives primary stress, and each phrase possesses a stressed lexical item, and each sentence has a stressed phrase) and Cantonese is generally regarded as a syllable-timed language (each individual syllable pretty much receives equal stress) and so it will of course sound quite penetrating, if not downright painful, to the ear of the native speaker of English, but Hong Kongers seem to take great pride in taking this one step further and pumping out their language in rapid machinegun fire style. And the annoying way which they hang on to the final phone/syllable is similar to how a disc jockey of the 1970s would fade out a track. Some Hong Kongers, particularly the fat old women, sustain the [a:] of /ma:/ (the question marker in Cantonese) for as long as five, six, or even seven seconds. It doesn't have to be like this; it certainly is not like that in Guangdong or in the China Towns in various cities around the globe.

69. Why do they insist on hanging their mobile phone around their neck? Do they really believe that they are the only person to have such a contraption? Personally speaking I'd quite often like to hang them up by the cord with which they hang their phone around their neck!

70. Why, without fail, do Hong Kong Chinese 'stars' such as Joey, Kelly Chen, Karen Mok, and the Twins, cry, sob, and shed tears at least once in each and every concert they give? It is usually when they sing a song about their favourite primary school teacher passing away (some twenty years ago) or when they communicate a story of their first pet hamster kicking the bucket (after being trodden on by the maid). And why do such tear-invoking songs and monologues seem to be a compulsory part of their repertoire? Is this perhaps how they 'get in touch' with their 'inner feelings'?

[briandwest]

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Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you.
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed
In the wells of silence