Job Discussion Forums

[davechile]

I know people get sensitive about this subject on the forum but, I think there are just few women on these forums that are single in relation to the guys. I am a single guy heading down south to start my new career in TEFL. I love the latin culture and the warmth of the people. I would like to do a homestay but, I am driving my self down from CA with my 100lbs Lab and that would be a very accepting family to allow a dog in your home. I diagress. But, I would be delighted to hear from the whole population of the Latin American teachers forum on your experiences with the Latin Ladies. Guys, your dating experiences + culture Married guys - when your were single and now have latin wives; Ladies your experience of being an expat gal making friends with the latinas and embracing the culture.
My faith is important to me and chasing skirts isn't my bag. I'm no backpacker nor a middle aged divorce (no offense intended).

Much love - looking forward to this new phase in my life.
Dave

[MikeySaid]

I hate to do this to you... but search a bit through this and the other forums and I think you'll find a good stockpile of information on Gringo-Latina relationships...

Sometimes when the dave's search frustrates me, i use google and search for "______ site:eslcafe.com" and get good results...

I am engaged to a lovely young woman from Torreon, Coahuila who I met in Queretaro... and I think that if anything is true in Mexico... it's that there's not many instances where one answer is true...

Where in Mexico are you headed? The size and location of the city/town will greatly affect your experience. Note: my opinion may not be that valid, since I can't seem to get a job in Torreon. :cry:

[jillford64]

In response to your question about being a non-mexican gal and making friends with the women, here is my opinion and experience:

The thing I love best about Mexico is the women. Some of them are stunning, but all of them are beautiful in their own way if you look carefully enough. Maybe it is their smile or eyelashes or the way they move their hand when they say "pero ya no." They are feminine. They are gracious and warm. They are smart. They are practical. They are so optimistic. They have a plan. They work hard. They want a better life for themselves and their families, but somehow they seem content at the same time. They are happy to teach you how to cook or make handcrafts. They excuse your cultural gaffes and indulge your stupid questions. They are patient when you mangle their language. The friendships that I have formed here are no different from the friendships with my girlfriends in the US except that here you can be much more physically affectionate and no one cares or thinks it is strange. I wouldn't have lasted 3 months in Mexico without my girlfriends, Rocio and Adriana, and all the other women who've been kind to me along the way.

[Phil_K]

I agree with the feminine bit. I am married to a Mexican and although I am in no way a macho man, I appreciate the difference between men and women. You see so many gringas (no offense to the gringa forum members) in Mexico, all looking identical and non too feminine with their combat pants and "men's" singlets, with their unkempt hair tied back.
My wife, like so many Mexican women, is compliant enough and mature enough (45) to pander to my fantasy of women looking like women and buying and wearing feminine dresses and skirts, with nice lingerie and asscesories.

On the other side of the coin, despite the macho culture in Mexico, women are strong and ambitious. In my opinion, that is a good thing too. How many families suffer financially due the extreme machoism of the man not allowing his wife to exploit her abilities and talent?

Stand by for the feminist backlash...

[jillford64]

I might have chosen a different word than compliant , but I generally agree. The mexican women I know seem to be comfortable with all aspects of being female without having to compete or prove that they are better than men. They can indulge a man simply because they know he enjoys it without being demeaned. They can be feminine, sexy, smart, resourceful, and whatever else they happen to be and everything is OK. They don't have to repress any of the best parts of being female. I like that men and women are different than each other, but so often in my culture the best aspects of both sexes gets distorted into an argument about sexism and feminism.

[PlayadelSoul]

"Compliant" wouldn't even make the top 500 words in the corpus used to describe my wife.

[davechile]

[cangringo]

I typed out a big long post but lost it...stupid internet trouble but I pretty much agree with jillford.

I said at the end that I don't feel intimidated by the ladies here like I did most of the time back home. They don't have that other women are enemies attitude that a lot of Vancouver women seem to have.

[Samantha]

[MikeySaid]

[Samantha]

[MELEE]

Mexico is a large and varied country. It incompases just about every type of women on the planet.
Hot-blooded yes, but in my neck of the woods there are just as many whom would be described as stoic.

[cangringo]

I should have said all the women I've met but remember I am already married so maybe that's why they aren't threatened. All the women I've met know I'm married and most have met hubby. Maybe it's just in Monterrey because I've heard that some of the Mexican people are not very welcoming to foreigners but here they have been more than welcoming...

[TEFL anonymous]

I can agree with the other posts about Mexican women being kind and considerate, I have had great experiences with a lot of Mexican girls and don't feel threatened or like a freaky outsider thanks to their kindness!

However... I would also agree about women scorned. I met my Mexican partner abroad and there was a month when he was in Mexico alone before I arrived. Ex girlfriends from years before were turning up at his house and calling every day, one girl threatened to tell her rather violent drug dealer boyfriend that she was at his house and another kept hacking into his email account after she heard that he was no longer single. When he was in Mexico, she sent me all sorts of emails telling me that my relationship was over and how she was in bed with him (incidentally, I was on the phone to him at he time I recieved one email!).
Not to say that it's only Mexicanas that are psycho stalkers, of course not, they're everywhere and I'm sure that everyone has had the misfortune to cross paths with a nutter at some time or other - just be warned and try to keep on good terms... Not to put you off, it's just that I've heard a lot of stories like these. Hot blooded Latinas indeed - brace yourself!!

[corporatehuman]

Learn Spanish of course. I came with no spanish and meeting Mexican girls was a series of embarassing rejections, but they were easy to take cause I didn't understand anything. I love Jill's description of Mexican women. It is eloquent. However one thing, Mexicans can be very jealous. At least where I am. If you aren't jealous it means you don't love someone. This can lead to problems in relationships, especially cause I am not very jealous. Also I think, on a whole, girls have it easier finding guys than guys finding girls. This is probably universal but almost every gringa I've seen has got a guy on her arm, while most gringos are usually alone.

I also think many people do not like seeing white guys with mexican girls. I only think this because of reactions and social stuff that has happened nearly every week since I started dating a Mexican girl. I think people are more comfortable seeing two whiteys together. Of course this sentiment, the occasional feeling of hate from the masses, makes me love my girlfriend all the more.

BEST of luck and learn spanish!