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[biffinbridge]

The Gulf aside,where weird teaching/life scenarios occur on a daily basis,has anyone out there had a truly bizarre teaching experience.I once had a Chinese girl have an epileptic fit in class.It was freaky because a.) no-one knew she was epileptic and b.) because she started wailing like Meg Ryan in the orgasm scene in 'When Harry Met Sally' as she came out of it.My CELTA didn't teach me how to deal with that.Another colleague of mine had an Algerian stab a Kurd during a lesson when we were teaching refugees in England some years ago.The Kurd lived but had 100+ stitches in his face and neck. I think that just about tops it but......

[Wolf]

I did teach an epileptic once. He never had fits in my classes. I had students with diagnosed learning disabilites (one was ADD, the others I was never told.) My biggest problem was that they were just allowed into classes that were far too difficlut for them, and then couldn't function. It's hard to give such students attention when I have seven other students in the classroom.

I never had students attack one another. My worst experiences of this nature would have been the sales demos that I had to do at my old company. People would come in off the street and I'd give them a quick demo lesson. I've had people complain that I didn't know how to pass the bar exam for the state of California, that I didn't know about British football teams, and that my country had too many soldiers in Japan. I'm Canadian. Ore ga shiru ka?

Minor things, really.

[fat_chris]

Nothing big. I was teaching a class of seven year olds in grade one at a primary school. They were all standing and singing a song and one decided to drop his trousers and wave his arse at everyone.

I had to scold him but inside I was pissing myself.

[Lynn]

Lesson plan for the day. Final "s" on 3rd person sing. verbs

The Korean woman answering the question about her female Mexican classmate, "I speak English, and he speaks English, too"

I laughed," She. Not he.
(students always mess up he/she)

The Korean woman looked at her classmate and then back to me,"HE"

I said,"No. Bency is she.

Korean woman, "She? I don't think so."
I was so confused at this point. I looked at Bency, and she looked ashamed and said,"it's okay, teacher. he, she. it's okay"

So it turns out Bency was born a man, but is now a woman. I didn't even notice. I thought she was just a beautiful, tall woman with a nice chest. (implants).

Talk about akward!

[Brooks]

I was in Siberia and in one of my night classes the architecture student decided to fight the engineering student (Yevgeny) because he didn`t like him.
That was dumb because Yevgeny knew karate. Yevgeny encouraged him to take the fight out of class, and it did not last long.

Last year in　June　an exchange student (John) from America came to one of my classes (I work in Tokyo). So
I asked my students to ask John one question each. So Kazuo`s question was, "John, do you have a boyfriend?"

[Will.]

I remember a 15 year old with two armed bodyguards.
Aren't they a little old to be leaning English?

[dmb]

A tear gas fight between two students! And the curtains set on fire.

[biffinbridge]

Damo,remember Timber's ministry of the silly walks?

[dmb]

Biff, of course I do. But his contract wasn't renewed