Job Discussion Forums

Egas · Guest

What is the perfect response to that most tricky of job interview/query questions: "What is your salary expectation?"; After several weeks of deep, deep contemplation, including deeply profound states of non-ordinary states of consciousness, the solution came to me in a revelation last night. So here it is. The following response can be used in an email response letter, or in the interview room itself. Both may achieve the desired results.

You ask me what is my salary expectation? OK. First, think of the figure that you think is a bargain basement purchase of ESL flesh. Got that? Good. Now revel in the feeling of that great bargain. Next, take that imagined figure, and subtract ten per cent. Then multiply by the reciprocal of your IQ. Got that? Good. Now add your age in months, making sure to include the current month. Subtract superfluous anomalies like the cost of accommodation and medical insurance, because who wants to pay for those anyway when backpackers will work for the price of a crumbly old biscuit. (Add 20% for North American applicants as a Yankee twang equates to bucks at the door.) Got that figure firmly in your head? Good. Now write it down on a piece of paper. Next, stand in front of a long mirror, grasping the piece of paper in your right hand, and with subdued lighting so as not to elucidate the inadequacies of your sallow and greed-ravaged complexion. Turn 180 degrees, so that you are facing away from the mirror. Next, remove your trousers and underwear. Yes, that's right, take 'em right off. Now bend over so you can see your white a.s in the mirror from between your legs. Now shove that piece of paper right up your butt, because there is no way I am going to work for anybody who reduces ESL professionals to the status of grovelling beggars!

Disclaimer: Egas accepts no responsibility whatsoever for the consequences of those who employ his job-search tips.

Peter · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Posts: 161

Mulitply the hours by 150 RMB. Period.

Egas · Guest

The only problem with that response, Peter, is that you will never hear from them again, at least not for the run of the mill schools. The reason they ask this question as soon as you send in your resume, is so they can eliminate the kind of people who are looking to get paid a reasonable salary or hourly rate. What they are really saying is "We only hire sh.t for sh.t money." This particularly goes for schools who ask this question right up front before they even ask anyhting about your qualifications and experience. That's why I'm taking the p.ss out of them (above).

MyTurnNow · Joined: 19 Mar 2003 Posts: 860 Location: Outer Shanghai

Peter · Joined: 29 Jan 2003 Posts: 161

I'm very reasonable at 150. Current gig pays 200 per hour

ChinaLady · Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 12:45 am Post subject: is money all there is?

usual tack is to start discussing the apartment.
and the Internaet access.
and the water jug delivery.
and daily newspaper delivery.
and utility bills.
and a weekly trip to the market for major food runs in the school car.
and , , , well, dream one up.

well, you get the idea. yes?
school/university pays you 4,000 for 10 hours of teaching
and pays all the utilities, etc. and maybe throws in an ahyi twice a week.

is certainly BETTER than 6,000 - 9,000 for 12-16 hours of teaching
and you get all those bills each month.
also, do make sure that your contract says you can be available for "off-campus" consultations that do not conflict with your class hours and preparation.

best of luck!!