Job Discussion Forums

[The K Dog]

People,
As I am considering going back to Asia (I did a stint in Korea back in '97), I am wondering about the social acceptability of a person, who, how can I say this, has cleaned up his act? In my Korean days six years ago, I had no teacher training, no experience, was just another one of those aimless semi-miscreants on the loose boozing and unsuccessfully trying to pick up Korean women, but, I am a changed man now, I went back to school, picked up a masters in TESOL, quit drinking completely, went back to the religion of my childhood (I became a traditionalist Catholic), and am a respectable, solid citizen now. I am just wondering, how you think people on the Asian scene would take to a guy who only dates western women, never goes near drink, takes his job seriously, and is not a drifter? I read some of the forums, and they remind me of how things were six-years-ago. I am not saying that all EFL teachers in Asia are living on the edge and that there is anything at all wrong with dating or marrying someone from a foreign culture (I just have a preference for those of similar background who like to teach and travel during their summers), it's just that I feel like I might be an odd man out if I go back. Has anyone else quit the party scene pretty much but felt a little left out on the Asian EFL scene? Just wondering.

[johnslat]

Dear K-Dog,
I can''t speak about the " Far East ", but it sounds like you'd be a natural for the Kingdom nowadays ( except that you'd find attending Sunday Mass might be a bit difficult - not impossible, mind you; they do have services out at the embassies and consuls ).
Regards,
John

[Glenski]

K Dog,

In Japan, about the only thing you'd have to face is some astonishment that you don't drink. Neither do I, and I have had zero problems with it. You can present a white lie that you have stomach problems. Many take this and let it go. I have never had anyone refuse to allow me in the after hours set just because I drink Coke. I always offer to split the bill equally, even though I know their drinks cost more than mine, and in many cases they don't even let me pay!

As for your other issues, keep any thoughts of describing Catholicism to a minimum, and you'll be all right. Be prepared for people to ask if you like Japanese women, but don't be afraid to wangle your way out of that. It's a standard question anyway.

Best of luck.

[Celeste]

I have to agree with Glenski. I think that you would do just fine in Japan. While my husband and I do drink, we do not go out partying all night at the various night clubs in town, and our co-workers, bosses, etc. respect this. We do enjoy having people over to our place for dinner parties, and we usually keep it early and let the boozehounds head off to the bars after dinner. We don't find it at all difficult to fit in here without participating in the bar culture. One thing that I have found very interesting is that in Japan, like Canada, people don't seem to talk about their religion very much. For me this works out very well (I feel that religion is a very personal matter). I remember when I lived in Korea, and people were constantly asking me about my religion, and trying to convert me to theirs. It drove me around the bend. Here, no one will care much about your religion. It will only be an issue if you make it one.

[Albulbul]

You could try Saudi Arabia. Don't beleiev all the hysteriacl stuiff you read in the press. As another posted pointed ou there are problems if you are looking for a church but that can be overcome.

[arioch36]

Likewise in China, there are plenty of people who live the life you are talking about. Of course, even the people who don't smoke or drink feel they should offer you something. i don't smoke, only drink beer, most teachers I know here are professional non-alcoholic, non skirt chasers. I teach at colleges, and they want that kind of person.
Though they will try to get you to drink their awful Bai jiu at a special party.

[WorkingVaca]

What a strange question. Will people in Asia accept an ESL teacher that doesn't act like an overgrown frat boy? Uhm, I think they would welcome it.

Or are you just wondering what you could possibly talk about in the teacher's room if you don't throw in yet another inane account of how much you drank the night before and how many girls keep bothering you with follow up phone calls.

Maybe you don't recall many of your let's say--more professional colleagues--from your 1997 Korea stint, or you and the other self-proclaimed alchoholics thought of them as uptight, prudish and/or boring and not worth talking to or having lunch with. But there are plenty of smart, focused foreigners in Asia for whom the novelty of getting drunk wore off after high school and college. We are never too hung-over to learn a new language, travel, save money, explore new career options, read books (gasp!), write books (double gasp!), etc. We have interesting things to talk about, even if it's a few decibles lower than all the bar room bragging going on in the teacher's room. So don't worry, you'll see us now that you've grown up a little.

P.S. I agree with the other poster on the born-again Christian stuff (typical for ex-addicts), please keep it to yourself.

[peakbagger03]

I understand your concern and I don't think it maters where you go in the world you will have that concern until you are comfortable with your new self. The vast majority of people in the world are moderate drinkers. They don't care what you do; on rare occasions, I run into someone who is curious why I don't drink...you can tell most of them that you developed and allergy. Once in awhile, I get uncomfortable when I think that I may be insulting someone from a different culture by refusing a drink in their home, being creative with your answers you can get around it and you have to remember your prioities...it's your life, not theirs.

keep it simple,

peakbagger

[gerard]

Stay home man!!

[dmb]

I agree about coming to the Middle east. qatar has the advantage over saudi( for you) Because they are having the Asian games in 2006 a church is beind built

[Roger]

My respect, K dog, for the changes you have effected through your own initiative, and the new lifestyle you have adopted!
I do not see many problems for you to stay that way, except, perhaps, the dating: here in China you are not likely to cross paths with a girl you might cae to bond with and who might want to do the same with you!