Job Discussion Forums

Nemesis · Joined: 10 Oct 2007 Posts: 122

Well, I've set up a nice "arrangement" with my students (I teach IELTS in a college): those who just want to slack/sleep/stare off into space... can, with no hassles.

In exchange, the deal is that they must NEVER disrupt/interfere with my flow while I'm teaching.

This way, I can concentrate on the kids who want to learn, without the stress of having to whip dead mules.

Teaching these days is very smooth. Cool

************************

Anyway, the other day, one of my "dullard" kids (one of the ones who does not participate in my lessons) asked me to go out for beers with him.

I'm not really into hanging out with young kids (I'm late 30s), but I didn't know how to say "no" on the spot.

If I can't weasel out, I guess I'll go, but I wonder if its a good idea to socialize with one of my "non-participating" students? Isn't that, like, negative reinforcement, or something?

I have this idea to reward good effort with personal care and attention while ignoring the dimwits completely.

So I wonder... by socializing with a deadbeat, will I warp the the nice vibe I've created? Maybe the deadbeats will start to think I'm their buddy or something and become disruptive (as they were before I set up my classroom "arrangement")?

Any thoughts?

therock · Joined: 31 Jul 2005 Posts: 1266 Location: China

You go out with him once and he will be knocking on your door daily. I try to avoid going out with my students........mainly because it's dull and half the time I want to sleep when they are talking Embarassed

Occassionally I will go out with the students if it's in a large group. Wink

Lister · Joined: 27 Apr 2007 Posts: 264

I say don't. If you do he'll be your "friend" and you'll be pressured to give him special treatment later when he's about to fail his exams. More so if you let him buy you a meal, you'll feel a sense of obligation and he will no doubt remind you that you owe him.

Jordean · Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 238

Why would you 'socialize' with students at all?! This is part of the responsibility of being a teacher, I think. Even the good students you should not have personal relationships with, until the term is over and the grades registered, if ever at all. Crossing this line could have all sorts of dire consequences...

Just make it clear that you are planning class events, to which all the class will be invited, which will also be linked to class content and practice.

latefordinner · Joined: 19 Aug 2003 Posts: 973

I think you draw the line a little strictly, Jordean; but if too strictly, then not by much.
Personally I like most of my students and I'm quite willing to go for a walk or play sports or sit and talk with a group of them, but a meal? A night of boozing and KTV? No way. First, I'm married and my wife would express extreme displeasure. If I asked her tocome, she wouldn't fit with a bunch of kids much younger than her, although many of the young women would be happy to help coo over our infant daughter. Second, its just not a good idea on its own. Do you want one of your students to drink to excess and then have to cart him/her home in a taxi? Then have the reputation as the teacher who went out and got his students drunk? Do you want to let loose yourself and have them cart you home in a taxi? Maybe, just for an end-of year class party. Hey if things don't work out for the best, it's the end of the year, you can always start over with new classes in September.
That's what a colleague and I did last June, and for most part it went well. We didn't drink, we just coordinated activities and food and laughed and took pictures. It went very well. Except for a couple of students who drank a little too much. And except for nearly getting into a fight with some local yobs who saw an intoxicated young woman as a vulnerable target. Yes we saw her safely home, but not before a few anxious moments had passed. After that, my friend and I were ready for a beer or 3

voodikon · Joined: 23 Sep 2004 Posts: 1363 Location: chengdu

ah, that's what makes teaching people your own age or older fun, i suppose.

Katja84 · Joined: 06 May 2007 Posts: 165

If he is clearly not into learning English, I would not spend any effort on going out with him - to be honest, he may just want to bribe you.

For students that are interested in learning (whether good at English or not so good) I normally wouldn't see a problem with doing things with students, but if there's a large age difference the situation can be rather different. I also actually enjoyed spending time with them. Going out for beers, though? If that involves bars or clubs, I'd say a definite no (the teachers at my university never went to bars simply because they were afraid it would ruin their reputation, and going with students seems like a really bad idea). If it's just the night market or a restaurant I guess it wouldn't be a disaster, but I would still be a bit sceptic...

ispeakgoodenglish · Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2007 12:37 pm Post subject:

If you worked in a training centre then there would be no problem with it but working for a uni it could bring all sorts of problems down the line.

vikuk · Joined: 23 May 2007 Posts: 1842

dullard, deadbeat - welcome back Roger

johnchina · Joined: 24 Apr 2006 Posts: 816

From my own IELTS teaching experience, it is likely that this student believes that you are party to some 'extra' information about the test or test techniques that you are not sharing with the class and wants to be your "friend" so that he can get this info from you.

"Look at me! I'm so clever! I took the teacher out for a few beers and he told me all the special things about IELTS, whilst you losers spent loads of time studying!"

william wallace · Joined: 14 May 2003 Posts: 2869 Location: in between

Tarheel 13 · Joined: 02 May 2007 Posts: 44 Location: Outer Banks, NC

I think you got it a..ss backwards. Why is he sleeping in your class? Just ask him to leave. That's what I do, and it's more a directive. I also let them know that I will mark them absent and that the Director will be calling their mother if they're absent more than a set number of hours. (They hate this Mother statement and wake up quickly.)

I don't know about the drinking. Why not? I have a few beers with mine. Heck, the girls have even been over to clean my apartment and cook hot pot. Maybe I'm missing something, but who cares if he's a dimwit.

loboman · Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 12:28 pm Post subject:

I worked for a company that took me out for a really nice dinner, hookers included. They later asked me to do things for them that were against the law in my home country.

Moral: "There Ain't No Such Thing As A Free Lunch..." Robert Heinlein

clarrie · Joined: 05 Apr 2005 Posts: 75

To hazard a guess about the many possible reasons for the invitation, I would suggest that perhaps pretty high on the list would be that this guy wants to offer you some advice about how to really teach them and make the class worthwhile for himself and the other students! The reason he sleeps is because, I can hear him saying, your class is not very interesting and is really not helping him or his classmates!

This must be one of the countries in which snotty-nosed kids get to ... dictate what is the best way to teach!

Would be interested in hearing how it went!

A'Moo · Posted: Sat Oct 27, 2007 1:39 pm Post subject:

Personally, I never date or socialize with students UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES....Others replying here have given you a plethora of reasons why, many good.